am i crazy?

i turned dd1 back rf and she didn't even bat an eyelash. not really sure why? i would tell dd that it's safer for her to ride backwards so she doesn't get hurt. in our case having another kid was also good because she is very excited to be "backwards just like s (dd2)!" she still talks about being backwards now at random times (ie. the breakfast table) and it's been over 8 months.

You're not crazy. At barely 20#, missing a meal or two would put her below the limits for a forward-facing seat. I usually write that age matters more than weight, and I stand by that as long as the minimums are met.

we went and ran some errands yesterday afternoon, and she loved it! She was really excited to be able to see out the back window, and look in the mirror I put up on the headrest. I'm thinking it's going to work out really well.

Yeah, she should definitely go RF. At that weight and age it sounds like she probably shouldn't have gone FF in the first place, since she probably hasn't been 20 pounds! I say make it a good thing and she'll probably be happy as a clam!

She was at about 23lbs, but she's lost back down. She was 20lbs when we turned her, but hasn't really grown or maintained a weight over that for very long.

Nicely done! Keeping car seat fairly upright is usually popular since view outside is then better. Using a rear facing mirror might also be a good idea. At age 3 she has a good understanding of what's going on so I would calmly explain the reason for sitting RF

i think you can have some "car only" toys and books that she looks forward to using at every trip, maybe that will distract her. i wish i had another suggestion...but good for you! i hope we are still RFing at 3. you're a great mom for picking safety over convenience. it seems to be a rarity these days from what i've observed out & about.

I think she'll be fine RFing in the car, but my concern is for her general health. If you don't care to share, that's fine, but 20 lbs for a 3 yo is not a healthy weight. And I'm not talking about "oh, she's at the bottom of the charts, somebody has to be small" but like...seriously underweight, failure to thrive, needs a feeding tube, serious medical issue kind of deal. Does she has some medical condition that is causing her to be so small? If so, does that medical issue affect the strength of her spine, bones, muscle, etc? Because in that case, you might want to consider rearfacing even beyond the recommended 4 years.