[peekyboo]

After watching the other preschool moms in action over IEP's - I feel like I'm once again not doing enough for Maura. They have paragraphs in their IEP's where I have sentences. They show up and want things like "visual spatial language" and such written in theirs (let's just say I was in a position to overhear IEP's - it was all good and friendly.) They have had theirs written and rewritten at least three times, making sure they get every single possible thing in there that they can.

Me, I noticed a couple misspelled words and asked that "sign language" be added to "Maura will communicate better using words/PECS"

And while they all are trying to keep their child busy over the summer and all that - well, we do have hippotherapy on Mondays, but I haven't called up for the extra summer speech therapy for the girls. And so far, since Maura's preschool has let out for a five week break, we've done jack diddly crap at home when it comes to any type of therapy. They're all looking forward to when school starts back up for the summer program come the middle of July and I'm dreading it. I know it'll be good for Maura, but it'll be such a hassle on my part since I have three other kids who'll have to tag along. And while the others are all freaking out over staff changes, I really don't care. I mean, I do care, but I know the admins and other people there enough to know they're not going to hire a jerk.

Part of this self-doubt is that last night, I saw two women - one was mowing a lawn and the other one was obviously a special needs adult. Both were smiling and happy, but my first thought was "Wow, that could be my girls in 30 years." And I don't know which seems worse - having Maura that dependant on people, or my other children having to take care of her. I mean, they love their sister and they take good care of her now, but I'd hate for Maura to be a burden, or not reach her full potential b/c I want a break. So I feel like maybe I should be doing more.

But I'm just tired of rushing around here adn there and dragging four kids around and I feel bad for my older three even though they're so good about all of this. And I want to have a life too. And I want Maura to just have fun and have a normal summer. But I want her to talk as well.

Parenting stinks

 

[snuggly mama]

In my opinion, there is such a thing as having too much therapy and too much focus on a child's special needs. Like you, I want dd to grow up to meet her maximum potential. I think part of reaching that potential is learning to enjoy life -- to hang out by the pool, to play grocery store with your brother and sister and to get all the fun of summer vacation. Dd starts summer school shortly, and while I know she needs the time to learn skills, I wish she could have the lazy summer days that my other kids have and not have to "work" at everything all the time.

And, again IMO, an IEP that has every single imaginable thing in it is not necessarily an IEP that gets fully implemented. Much better, I think, to focus on a few areas of real need and be sure that those get the absolute best time and attention they can.

We all know the people who make parenting a competitive sport, and they exist in the special needs world, too. If you feel like Maura is learning and growing and that her IEP meets her needs, then that really is enough.

 

[bunsmom]

:
I also think there can be way too much therapy for such young children. Sometimes children do better with a break and/or less therapy for a while. Just this week our PT was on vacation and our week was so super. DD really seemed to be more verbal and happier, she needed the break.

I feel that I am the only parent at the two centers that we go to that feels this way. Most of them spend the time in the waiting room venting about all the therapy they have to "deal with" that week or how their entire day is ruined because of therapy. I don't feel that way at all, but I also don't have DD in therapy all day on any day, and I don't do that much with her at home because enough is enough, she needs to just be.

Your doing what works for you and YOUR FAMILY. Relax and enjoy the summer with your great kids.

 

[mom3b1?]

Quote:

Originally Posted by peekyboo But I'm just tired of rushing around here adn there and dragging four kids around and I feel bad for my older three even though they're so good about all of this. And I want to have a life too. And I want Maura to just have fun and have a normal summer. But I want her to talk as well. Parenting stinks

I wouldn't compare yourself to other parents. They may be doing too much for their child. By insisting that their child get a certain therapy they may cause their child to miss a different therapy that would have been better. I do not micromanage my children's IEPs. I have a little background in linguistics and can follow some of what the speech pathologist is up to without her spelling it out, but I don't tell her what to do. I see the exercizes she's using and can tell where she's heading. My kids teacher's have their hands full, and stressing them out about the details probably isn't going to do my kids a lot of good. I have brought up things that I thought they missed, or that I didn't think were clear, and we have made a correction here or there, but nothing so detailed as what you are describing.

Now, if I were a speech pathologist, I probalby would use the long words and demand specific services, because it'd be second nature to me, but for the most part I let my kids' teachers/therapists do their job. As long as the results are moving in the right direction I don't feel I need to tell them how to do their job. If they showed signs of incompetence, I might, but so far so good.

Kiley

 

[logan&jordansmommy]

Well, I think this is where it just depends on the family. I wouldn't say the other families were doing too much if it was right for them. If the parents and the kids are happy then it is ok. But I also don't think you are doing too little. If you are rushing around so much that you are all miserable then I think it is perfectly fine to slow down.

I was thinking about this the other day. I want the best for Jordan but I also have to juggle that with my other two kids also. If I did 30 hours of therapy a week with Jordan would I be given my other kids most that they need too? It is a balancing act and like you said, parenting can be hard sometimes or a lot of times!

I hope you can find that peaceful balance. I know I feel like I am trying to still find it everyday!