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My DD is 4 mos old, and I just dont feel sexy yet. It occurred to me the other day that I have developed a rather serious madonna/whore complex about my own self!
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It's not how I look, or anything. Its just that the idea of DTD feels so noncompatible with the intense mothering that I have been doing. I know women speak of feeling touched out, and I dont think thats really it for me-its just total loss of libido and I dont even really miss it....

But will I ever get back to feeling more normal? I mean, I used to enjoy DTD quite a bit!
 

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I don't think I was even able to form the word sexy in my mind when my baby was 4months! Don't worry, it will come back again. You need time to adjust to the parenting thing and have some time to yourself. I didn't start to feel better about my body til I was able to find the time to exercise regularly and do little sexy things like paint my toes and get a haircut. I also went thru my own questions about is it o.k. to be sexy and be a mom. That was a hard one for me....but I got over it. My DS is 10.5months and I can't say I feel back to my old sexual self yet, but at least now it's on my radar screen again!
 

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our ds is also 4 months, and I know what you mean! I also ebf, therefore I am a little hesitant about exercising too much for fear of losing my supply.. but I hate looking in the mirror and comparing myself to my pre-pregnancy self.. I can't wait to go back to my 115 lbs.
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by KristiMetz
My personal advice, which you did not ask for but I'm giving it anyway, is just go ahead and dtd once in a while, even if you don't feel like it.
Your poor DH will be so grateful. Just my $.02
Sometimes, I feel tired & am not sure I want to. When I do, I always find it is nice to have DH touch me lovingly. It feels good to be embraced. If it makes you feel yucky, then give it some time--it's probably not good for your marriage to do it if you don't enjoy it. Do give yourself the chance to enjoy it though.

Best wishes to you!
 

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Well, my dd is almost 18 months, I'm actually past my pre-pg weight (gotta love bfing!), and I still don't feel sexy
DH thinks I look great, but I just don't feel it. DD is bfs alot, AF still hasn't returned, so that's probably why. One of this days...
 

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I know this thread is a little old (well only a month!) but it came up in a search (looking for info on baby's first haircut, and I get this? :LOL)...

I SO get what you're saying! I feel totally blah, not sexy at all! And sex is so not important to me right now. Sleep is. I think I've initated sex a handful of times since ds was born. I've gone along for poor Dh, and do enjoy it when we do, but the "I could be sleeping" and "I'm a MOM, Mothers DON'T *do* this!!" thoughts are hard to push away.

It doesn't help any that prior to ds's birth I was very sexual. Dh was actually the first man I was with who could "keep up with me"
So he has one hell of a drive. And what I just chalked up to silly boorish behavior - no big deal - can be sorta cute sometimes (like Dh walking by and playfully slapping my behind, or making a urm, lewd compliment to me), prior to ds now I think "OMG! Our son is going to grow up to be some sort of male chauvinistic pig!!" and it just turns me off *completely*. I just start thinking "Ok, now we need to talk about appropriate behavior in front of the baby" (Dh thinks its ok now because Orion doesn't understand...) and that totally turns the Mama-Bear on and TOTALLY kills any Sexy-wife feelings off. Totally. Yeah I've talked to Dh about it, but it still persists, and honestly a lot of my you-can't-act-like-that-in-front-of-the-baby feelings are over the top and I realize that, so its not all him...

So yeah, I'm a big fat load of no help here. Sorry. But I do feel your pain, Mama!!
 

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Showing affection in front of kids is totally healthy and good.

DD is 10 mo., and I still have no sex drive to speak of. I've lost weight, to 20 lbs below pre-pg, but don't really feel it, kwim?
 

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My second dd is 5 weeks old, and I am also exclusively breastfeeding. Dh has tried to intitiate sex a couple of times and I was quick to push him away...jokingly, but I was really not interested. I can't imagine dtd right now, but I am finding other things sexy these days.

I've found joy in being with other new mothers and pregnant women who share the same ideas and beliefs I do. Being with them makes me feel radiant and sexy, and like I've found a special part of myself. One of the pregnant girls is so beautiful...she just glows. Another friend who had her baby 2 months ago is incredibly sexy. Her breasts are full from nursing her little one, and today when my baby cried, the front of her shirt got wet with milk and I found it so sexy. Not arousing, but sexy. And if I can see these things as being appealing in other women, then I can recognize them as the same in myself. Which makes me feel sexy.

No, I'm not crazy, weird or a lesbian. Just in touch with a part of myself that I didn't know before. I see myself reflected in these women and what I see is beautiful.

Sheri - loving momma to my 2 angels, Sophia (2) and Claire
 
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