Mothering Forum banner

1 - 9 of 9 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
6,938 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
DD's school has been accommodating so far-- or so it seems on the surface. They had her tested for reading 2Xs. The first time we felt the score was inaccurate (we were right). She was also tested for math since the teacher wanted to get a good picture of her. We were amazed that they'd do all of this.<br><br>
She's now part of the school's gifted program. She gets pulled out for reading in 5 week blocks w/the gifted teacher and 2 other children from 1st. After the 5 wk block, she goes to 1st grade with the same two children who also read at her level (though the gifted teacher says she's ahead of them). She's in KG reading at the 3rd/4th level.<br><br>
The principal recommended my DD start using the computer for research like older children. She now gets pulled out one-on-one a few times a week by the librarian.<br><br>
HOWEVER, it seems like more often than not, my DD does not go to reading-- maybe the gifted teacher is absent, busy . . .I don't know. She does not get more advanced work in math as was promised. The teacher says DD does not seek out harder math like she does with reading. However, at home, DD enjoys doing (mental) division, multiplication, addition/subtraction with double digits (or more digits if it's easy, like 2000+ 50).<br><br>
So, though this teacher herself is awesome and has a gifted son herself, DD still comes home, day after day with things like "My 'L' Book" in which she must CIRCLE THE L. Why doesn't the teacher just hand her a journal and have her work on that instead? I have never seen any written work that challenges her at school.<br><br>
DH does not like to rock the boat. He feels we can't ask for more. He also seemed annoyed with my dissatisfaction. He's completely against homeschooling (worried she would not have friends). DD only wants to go to the half-day option (no one else in her class does this), but again, DH is worried she will miss out on friendships. (Yes, that is a huge deal with him!)<br><br>
Any thoughts? Ideas? TY!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
206 Posts
Well, I can certainly understand your frustration. Nothing annoys me more than when my son comes home with his "sounds" book for us to practice with him what sound the letter "t" makes when his teacher knows he reads around a third grade level.<br><br>
I don't really have much advice except to try to be on good terms with the teacher and school, be tolerant of some of the stuff that comes home (like our sounds book) and just don't use them and really focusing on getting results in the areas that are most important to you.<br><br>
Do they let you know each time her pull out reading program gets cancelled or rescheduled? Maybe if there was accountability to the parents on the part of the school to the parents of kids and that program they'd be more likely to actually reschedule if for some reason it gets cancelled rather than just skip it all together?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,590 Posts
Doesn't sound like your expecting too much. But maybe your DD doesn't like being pulled out of the normal classes.<br><br>
I had to laugh about the L book. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> My 2.5 yo would already find that boring. Thank God we're homeschooling.
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
5,156 Posts
Your post really hits my heart, because that is what we went through with my son. He had a pretty good kindergarten year--there was some extra work and books he could do/read. But first grade has been really bad. If you have questions about the school at this point, I would strongly urge you to have plans for the future.<br><br>
Initially my husband was against homeschooling. What helped was meeting other people who hs in our community, and then actually sitting in on our sons class and observing what the class dynamic was like. I would also show all the work coming home from his class to my husband--much like your example of the circle the L book. My heart would sink when I would look over this work and know what he could do and then what school expected of him.<br><br>
And it does not take long for these kids to learn how to survive and hide who they really are...<br><br>
Find some home schooling folks in your area. Are there any gifted lists/groups in the area? This might be the first place to look.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
6,938 Posts
Discussion Starter · #5 ·
Augusta, no they don't tell us when the class is cancelled. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/shrug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="shrug"> I guess it is considered to be a bonus, when it really comes down to it. I agree that tolerance is important. I would not expect every assignment to be the greatest or most challenging, but the problem is I have yet to see ANY that are. Granted, I only know what happens in terms of written work, but still . . .<br><br>
VanessaS, yeah, frankly I think there are other children who find the "L" book type work to be boring, too. Judging from how I see some of the children's writing (we get class books sent home), I think many more would do well with some additional challenges. I wonder if this traces back to the NCLB-- scaled back work.<br><br>
DD actually enjoys getting pulled out of class. The teacher said that other children leave the class, too (like for ELL), so it is considered "normal" to leave. The only little issue is that the children are upset that they can't bring the same books home as DD. However, I've noticed that even though DD is allowed to bring home more challenging books (still, not at her level, but better) she DOES NOT. I think she is already trying to hide what she can do. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"><br><br>
carmel23, I did some research on homeschooling last year. DH is really so against it. I will put up a post in FYT to ask for resources about gifted programs in the area. But, DH-- I imagine that even if he were to observe in DD's class and it was just way too easy, he would not care. Like I said, he really NEVER wants to rock the boat (I am shocked that he even pushed to get DD re-tested). He does not like to stand out or be different. Still, I will start saving all the work. Who knows, maybe DH will change his mind, but HSing would be fundamentally against what he works for-- to fit in.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
974 Posts
<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>carmel23</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/9911938"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">And it does not take long for these kids to learn how to survive and hide who they really are...</div>
</td>
</tr></table></div>
<br>
ITA with this. I also think, and anyone can feel free to call me on this, IME, that gifted kids rarely "fit in" in the general school population without hiding part/a lot of who they really are.<br><br>
From my own experiences in school, I can tell you that being in a classroom where the majority of the work is below your level is miserable. And the teachers really have to be adept at switching gears between students in order to make that kind of thing work. It's boring, most of the other kids don't get you and some downright resent you. Being pulled out of such class makes you stand out and seem privileged. Most of the time the more "challenging" work given to a gifted student in such a situation is more of the same.<br><br>
Girls can have it particularly hard. Most won't "demand" more challenging work, and since they haven't asked, the teachers will assume that they don't want it. This is especially damaging in math and science.<br><br>
I think the fact that your dd doesn't want to go more than half-day says something about how she feels about the experience.<br><br>
I would explore all options, on your own for a bit, if necessary. Homeschooling is much more common now than it was, and socializing is much easier for many outside of the normal school arena. I think it's especially good for gifted students, if only because they particularly enjoy the interaction of many different ages, and no one necessarily stands out for being able to do something earlier than someone else (meaning, everything tends to operate on ability rather age). In a traditional school setting, it can be very hard to find true peers as opposed to age-mates.<br><br>
If you can swing it financially, you might also look into Montessori schools or other private schools with a similar mission. One of the greatest gifts we can give our children is to allow them to spend the first 18 years of their lives learning in a way that is compatible with who they are and what they need.<br><br>
(btw, my dh needed to be convinced that homeschooling was the way to go. too. being a scientist, though, I find that he needs to be convinced of most things! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol">)
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,590 Posts
My DH also doesn't like to be unusual. It's taken me over 3 years to convince him but he's finally agreed to it. Mainly because my son is "twice exceptional" and would have a nightmare time at school.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
15,067 Posts
<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Mizelenius</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/9913089"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Augusta, no they don't tell us when the class is cancelled. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/shrug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="shrug"> I guess it is considered to be a bonus, when it really comes down to it. I agree that tolerance is important. I would not expect every assignment to be the greatest or most challenging, but the problem is I have yet to see ANY that are. Granted, I only know what happens in terms of written work, but still . . .<br><br>
VanessaS, yeah, frankly I think there are other children who find the "L" book type work to be boring, too. Judging from how I see some of the children's writing (we get class books sent home), I think many more would do well with some additional challenges. I wonder if this traces back to the NCLB-- scaled back work.<br><br>
DD actually enjoys getting pulled out of class. The teacher said that other children leave the class, too (like for ELL), so it is considered "normal" to leave. The only little issue is that the children are upset that they can't bring the same books home as DD. However, I've noticed that even though DD is allowed to bring home more challenging books (still, not at her level, but better) she DOES NOT. I think she is already trying to hide what she can do. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"></div>
</td>
</tr></table></div>
<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> I used to hide mine in my backpack... and only let my classmates see the picture books. I can remember doing this in first grade (in second, I was in a tiny private school where I was one of the oldest children, so nobody was really weirded out by the fact that I read books without pictures... unless I talked about them <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/duck.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Duck"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">.<br><br><br><div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">carmel23, I did some research on homeschooling last year. DH is really so against it. I will put up a post in FYT to ask for resources about gifted programs in the area. But, DH-- I imagine that even if he were to observe in DD's class and it was just way too easy, he would not care. Like I said, he really NEVER wants to rock the boat (I am shocked that he even pushed to get DD re-tested). He does not like to stand out or be different. Still, I will start saving all the work. Who knows, maybe DH will change his mind, but HSing would be fundamentally against what he works for-- to fit in.</td>
</tr></table></div>
It really depends on where you live, but in a lot of places homeschooling is so common that it's not at all "weird" or a matter of "standing out." There are two families on this very block that are homeschooling; Our local Friends meeting only has two families with kids who go to public school (both because the children chose to go to school-- one boy has a sister who's still homeschooling). In fact, at our first Blended Program one of the other parents told me that her family was the last in their church to "get on the boat," as it were-- her kids asked to homeschool because they were literally the only family who wasn't, and they felt weird. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"> We live in PA, too; the laws are a PITA, you'd think there'd be fewer homeschoolers... but no, there are *loads*. Everyone knows someone who homeschools. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/nod.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="nod">
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
6,938 Posts
Discussion Starter · #9 ·
I really appreciate the replies!<br><br>
RE: DD hating school . . .We might start taking DD home for lunch (and then back to school) to see if it helps-- trying to figure out if this is an academic issue, social problem, or something else completely.<br><br>
On the plus side, I FINALLY got some written work back from what she does with the gifted teacher, and it looked appropriate. Too bad the gifted session is done for 5 weeks, but maybe DD will be inspired being in the 1st grade classroom. Oh, and DD brought her own chapter book today to school and READ it at school. A first! She said some kids came up to her and said they did not know she could read, but I don't think this was negative. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/thumb.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="thumbs up"><br><br>
Here HSing is not uncommon (our neighbor's 15 grandchildren are all HSed), but it is still faaaaaar less common than traditional schooling. We'd still be "different." I am starting to save all of DD's work . . .even so, I don't think it will matter. Since DH says DD is ahead, he says she'll just go to school for social skills. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/irked.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="irked">: Yup.
 
1 - 9 of 9 Posts
Top