Mothering Forum banner

1 - 20 of 44 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
5,573 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
I really feel like I am going to <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"><br><br>
Basically, I don't have the money. Litterally ever cent I earn goes to the medical bills from when I temporarily lost my sight. It sucks. I finally have all of the paper work I need to file. But I can't afford it. I get discouraged asking for advice in the main part of the board, because everyone says "Oh get a lawyer." With what money?<br><br>
My Dad lied. He said he would help me pay for it. Now he is going back on that. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"> I got my hopes up for nothing!<br><br>
Anyhow, I am just upset right now because I feel like I will be married to him forever. Once I get some medical bills paid off, then I can save the money for the filing fee. I just don't know what to do with myself in the meantime. I probably wont qualify for any financial aid either, because of him. Since I am legally married. Not that he even has a job or anything <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/irked.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="irked"><br><br>
So I am having a giant pitty party. Sorry for being all, blah. I am trying to stay positive but sometimes I just can't stomach it.
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
16,212 Posts
How much is the filing fee? Can you advertise to do extra babysitting?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
5,573 Posts
Discussion Starter #3
It is $160. I put all of my old babysitting money in to my car emergency fund. I have $11 left after last pay that I can put towards it.<br><br>
I am just very overwhelmed right now. I had overtime on my last paycheck but they cheated me out of it <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"> They are supposedly including it on this check. And I had to work over time today but my boss wants me to come in late to make up for it. How is that fair to me just because my coworker doesn't want to come to work? <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/irked.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="irked"><br><br>
I have only $400ish left on my MRI bills. I hope that is paid off by summer. Then I can have $80 a month leftover to put towards divorce.<br><br>
And I am not sure if that is the entire fee, it says "filing fee", does anyone know if that is basically it?<br><br>
We own NOTHING together. But he says he can take what I had, even things I had before I met him. I only own a washer and dryer that my Dad bought me and some nice books and my Grandmother's china. I don't own anything else. But he says he can afford a lawyer *how, he has no JOB!* so I guess I will just get screwed in the end. Whatever. If taking my signed figure skating books and my Grandmother's china makes him feel like more of a man, he can have it.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
5,573 Posts
Discussion Starter #4
GIFT CARD! I just remembered that last year we got $25 gift cards for teacher appreciation day! I can give that to my Mom in exchange for money towards the divorce <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/joy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="joy"> Watch, now that I have said that, the boss will hand out something useless like a cosmetic case or something <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol">
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,869 Posts
<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
16,212 Posts
I don't think he can take those things from you, especially if they're currently at your parents' house.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
5,573 Posts
Discussion Starter #7
Everything I own is in storage. The washer and dryer my Dad bought for me before I was married. The dishwasher could go back to him for all I care, I had just had surgery so I didn't really do much packing and moving myself. I left him all of the furniture that I owned before marrying him. So isn't that enough?<br><br>
I worry about my car. I bought it after he went to jail. I guess that can technically be marital property, but the dealership told me it wouldn't count as it because I left him before I bought it and it is only in my name. I hope he can't take it from me. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad">
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
5,234 Posts
What state are you in again? Can you ask at the DV shelter if there's a way that DV victims can get the filing fee waived, if they can prove financial need? Seems pretty messed up to make a battered woman pay $160 to divorce her abuser.<br>
Also, are you paying a negotiated rate with the hospital, or the full bill?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
5,573 Posts
Discussion Starter #9
I managed our shelter, I am red filed. That means I can get no help <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"> And it wouldn't matter anyway because no, we didn't have that available. It is okay, I had clients on the list for years waiting for pro bono, it just didn't happen for them. I wish I lived somewhere bigger <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"><br><br>
I am in WV.<br><br>
I am paying what was left over after insurance. I had decent insurance, really good, actually, compared to what I have now. I tried and my Mother tried to negotiate it down and they wouldn't. They will let me pay monthly though. One should be paid off in summer. Then I have the $80 that I can save. I'd like to snowball it to the next bill, but I really want to get divorced more than that!<br><br>
When I get the medical bills paid, I can save some money. Maybe get a better job, and hopefully get out on my own <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/joy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="joy"><br><br>
I have been brainstorming all night. I have $11 in the car, plus the possible giftcard on Wednesday, plus the overtime I am supposed to get Friday. Pray that someone needs a babysitter! I have already cut out one of my medications. I am on the lowest cell plan and cancelling it is a huge fee. I don't pay for my food or toiletries, my parents basically pay for everything. I do pay for my car, but he took the car I was driving, the one he says I have the title too <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/eyesroll.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="roll"> So I got screwed buying a car. In hindsight I wish I had gotten a beater car, but I do drive a lot for work. I can't think of anything else I can cut out of the budget. Maybe when my cell contract is up I can cancel that. I don't really use it anyhow. I suppose if I was broken down somewhere, someone would have a phone I could use. I drive main roads.<br><br>
I am always looking for a second job that will work around first job. I wish I could cancel my medical insurance, that would save almost $300 a month right there, but I am scared to because I have to have the MRIs every year, etc. So that isn't an option.<br><br>
Someone tell me that I can move out of state and get a real teaching job making real money <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/redface.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Embarrassment"> My parents and my STBX don't think I can get a real job, but I am wondering if maybe they are wrong? If people trust me with their children, I can't be totally incompetent <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/eyesroll.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="roll"> I think, wow, I managed the DV shelter and was responsible for up to 20 lives at a time. I made huge safety decisions, yet my Mother thinks I can't move out of her house and take care of myself? I am almost certain that I could!!!<br><br>
I just lack the confidence to do it!<br><br>
ETA: And I have a lot of coins. Not sure how much, but I am hitting coinstar in a few days when my schedule calms down.<br><br><br>
For some reason I have to get divorced. I can't stay married. I can't. I realize that I don't live with him and I don't even have to see him but I just can't be married to him. I feel like my life can never start again while I still have his last name.<br><div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>*MamaJen*</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/15368531"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">What state are you in again? Can you ask at the DV shelter if there's a way that DV victims can get the filing fee waived, if they can prove financial need? Seems pretty messed up to make a battered woman pay $160 to divorce her abuser.<br>
Also, are you paying a negotiated rate with the hospital, or the full bill?</div>
</td>
</tr></table></div>
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
16,212 Posts
<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Bunnyflakes</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/15368581"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;"><br>
I am paying what was left over after insurance. I had decent insurance, really good, actually, compared to what I have now.</div>
</td>
</tr></table></div>
Was your insurance at that time an HMO?<br><br>
If so, then it's ILLEGAL in WV for the hospital to bill you for the remainder left over after the HMO finished paying them:<br><br><a href="http://www.calacep.org/spaw2/uploads/files/reports_studies/Balance_Billing_Bans_State_Statutes.pdf" target="_blank">http://www.calacep.org/spaw2/uploads...e_Statutes.pdf</a><br><br>
"West Virginia statute holds that no provider (whether participating or nonparticipating) may balance bill an HMO enrollee if the provider is aware that the patient is an HMO enrollee. For emergency care, HMOs are required to pay the non-par provider's "normal" charges."
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
16,212 Posts
<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Bunnyflakes</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/15368581"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;"><br>
Someone tell me that I can move out of state and get a real teaching job making real money<br></div>
</td>
</tr></table></div>
Of course you can!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
997 Posts
You can move someplace else. I'm in TX and they have billboards all over the place saying "can you teach? When can you start?"<br>
look into it.
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
4,488 Posts
what if you only make $10 payments for may and june? then you'd have $140 plus whatever else you can scrape together - you could file by the end of june! it means that bill would be paid off late fall instead of summer, but in the big picture, does that really matter?
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
5,234 Posts
<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>doubledutch</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/15369480"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">what if you only make $10 payments for may and june? then you'd have $140 plus whatever else you can scrape together - you could file by the end of june! it means that bill would be paid off late fall instead of summer, but in the big picture, does that really matter?</div>
</td>
</tr></table></div>
Yep, I'd prioritize the divorce. Also, can you put ads on Craigslist offering to babysit?<br>
Have you posted your budget over in frugality and finances?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
5,573 Posts
Discussion Starter #15
I have not posted my budget, however, it is all medical bills, my cell phone and my car payment. I don't spend any other money <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/redface.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Embarrassment"> I do not eat out or anything like that. Sometimes my Mom gives me money so I can go out with a friend, but my own money is 100% devoted to medical bills right now. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/redface.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Embarrassment"> Which is sad because the running joke in this house is that I work for nothing. And I do, because I never hold, touch or spend any of the money that I earn on anything enjoyable at the moment <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> I am okay with that though! I will get this blindness paid off <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/joy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="joy"><br><br>
Thanks for the encouragement, everyone <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"><br><br>
I am not sure if ours was an HMO, I could not find it on the list when I wikipedia-ed it.
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
5,234 Posts
It's pretty impressive that you're paying them off. I think most people just wouldn't pay them, they would go to collections, and maybe they would pay a negotiated rate.<br>
If you're paying that much in medical bills, I would really just pull the filing fee from the upcoming month's payment. My sense is that medical bills aren't like other bills, in that they often aren't paid as promptly. It's not like skipping part of your mortgage one month.<br>
I think divorcing your abusive husband is about ten zillion times more important than paying off the corporate hospital system in a perfectly timely manner.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,902 Posts
<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>*MamaJen*</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/15373616"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">It's pretty impressive that you're paying them off. I think most people just wouldn't pay them, they would go to collections, and maybe they would pay a negotiated rate.<br>
If you're paying that much in medical bills, I would really just pull the filing fee from the upcoming month's payment. My sense is that medical bills aren't like other bills, in that they often aren't paid as promptly. It's not like skipping part of your mortgage one month.<br>
I think divorcing your abusive husband is about ten zillion times more important than paying off the corporate hospital system in a perfectly timely manner.</div>
</td>
</tr></table></div>
I agree. And maybe it's possible that he will share responsibility for them in the settlement? <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/redface.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Embarrassment">
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
16,212 Posts
<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Bunnyflakes</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/15372447"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;"><br>
I am not sure if ours was an HMO, I could not find it on the list when I wikipedia-ed it.</div>
</td>
</tr></table></div>
What was the name of your insurance, if you don't mind me asking?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
12,040 Posts
You will get there. It took me a long time to have my divorced finalized too, over 2 years. It was a small fortune because we had a business to divide and a bizillion dollars in legal fees. I know what you mean about just wanting it done. I felt stuck until it was final, like I couldn't move on. I hope you are able to make it happen fairly soon. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">:
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
5,573 Posts
Discussion Starter #20
Wow, my student's parents were very generous <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/dizzy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Dizzy"> I got a ton more than I thought I would!! I am not only a mere $31 from being able to file for divorce <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/joy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="joy"><br><br>
I filled out the papers tonight. I have no idea how much my STBXs car is worth or how much he owes on it. I hope I don't get in trouble for not being able to fill that in. I know what my car is worth, etc.<br><br>
I am also filing to see if I can get the court fee waived but I can't know until the day I actually go to file. I am also including the medical bills when I turn the paper work in.<br><br>
I am so excited <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/joy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="joy">
 
1 - 20 of 44 Posts
Top