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I wanted to EC my babies from the start, but I just couldn't do it with twins. It was too much for me to think about. One of my babies, Jasper, would have really loved to be EC'd. I always knew when he had to pee, and if I could I'd take him, and he peed in the sink all the time when he was tiny. He would cry whenever he had to pee (I actually thought there was something wrong until I figured out he just didn't want to pee in a diaper). But, as he got older, he stopped caring so much about wet diapers, and I stopped trying to catch his pee, and that was that. But I never forgot about EC and planned to do it with our next baby.<br><br>
Well, now my twins are 15 months old, and I finally feel like I could really give EC the attention it needs. But am I too late? Would EC at this point be traumatizing? Or pointless? Have I missed the window, and now I need to wait until they're two and then start potty learning?<br><br>
I've always given my boys a good amount of naked time, and lately I've been trying to do it more and more. We live in an old factory building, so we don't have any yard, but we do have wood floors. When my boys pee on the floor, they then run and get a cloth diaper and wipe it up. So I know that there is some awareness. I always point it out when I see them peeing and say, "oooh, you peed! Pee came out!" Or something like that. I always tell them when I'm peeing. And I talk about it with them when they're pooping. They will point to their diapers and say "poop" if I've somehow missed out on the actual event. I haven't tried to catch any pee or poop anytime lately because I'm afraid of traumatizing them. My mom remembers being forced to sit on a potty after breakfast everyday until she pooped. I know I would never force my boys to do anything, but I'm still worried about unknowingly pressuring them to do something they're not ready for.<br><br>
Any advice for me? I honestly don't mind diapering my toddlers at all (gotta love cloth dipes!), but I have always felt weird about how I've been training my boys to use diapers when I don't think it's necessarily a natural thing. I would love to help them get more in touch with their bodies (or to get myself more in touch with their bodies) if it's at all possible.<br><br>
TIA!<br><br>
Lex
 

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Well I guess loving them is the first priority - you got that right.<br><br>
So for EC ...... well is there a definition of what is too late? I don't know. If they are wiping up pee and pointing out poo I'd say you have been doing "<span style="color:#008080;">E</span>limination <span style="color:#008080;">C</span>ommunication" just not the diaperless or catching kind.<br><br>
Anyway, I have a friend who did not EC and who says her first dd was toilet trained by 18m and whose 2nd daughter started sometime before 2. So being attentive to their needs and gently showing the way is worth a lot.<br><br>
I think you are perceptive to avoid "unknowingly pressuring them to do something they're not ready for". So keep on doing whatever works for them. The goal after all is not necessarily an unusually young potty trained child but good communication isn't it?<br><br>
PS My son was like the son you describe crying when he needed to pee and I was worried till I figured out what it was. I had not started or even heard of EC then and wished I had. Also, for whatever it is worth, my son was in the midst of a 6 month strike at your sons' age.
 

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Hi Lex!<br><br>
We were late starters, although it was at 7 months, so not quite as late. My 26mo ds2 left diapers behind at 25m, so I guess we worked at it for a year and a half. He still has some accidents but for the most part he's reliable.<br><br>
I totally believe it's fine to start any time. There are different issues at different stages, but it's all about *communication* and *connection*, no matter when you start or finish, or how you modify EC to fit your family.<br><br>
I don't know if you've had a chance to read any of the EC books out there, but if not, here are some links for late starters:<br><br><a href="http://www.white-boucke.com/reviews/latestarters.html" target="_blank">http://www.white-boucke.com/reviews/latestarters.html</a><br><a href="http://seafish.freeyellow.com/late.html" target="_blank">http://seafish.freeyellow.com/late.html</a><br><a href="http://www.nurturenet.com/etc/goingDiaperless.html" target="_blank">http://www.nurturenet.com/etc/goingDiaperless.html</a><br><br>
Also, there is now a Yahoo group for late starters:<br>
<a href="http://groups.yahoo.com/group/IPTLateStarters" target="_blank">groups.yahoo.com/group/IPTLateStarters</a><br><br>
I've read many stories about people who started EC then took extended breaks for various reasons, including moving around the world, big changes in the family such as new jobs, etc., and frequently they found that whenever they resumed, it seemed they picked up where they left off, or that earlier learnings came back before much time. I think our babies learn and retain more than we can realize at times.<br><br>
I vote you give it a try!<br><br>
I totally do not believe that EC in its intended form would be traumatizing. It is a gentle and loving way of connecting and communicating with your children. There is no pressure involved, no real expectations other than helping your child feel more tuned in with you, helping him/her/them feel more comfortable, helping them to understand what's going on.<br><br>
The fact that your boys are helping with cleanup indicates they have a lot of understanding of what's happening. They at least have it that poo/pee doesn't go on the floor :) Also what they say when they poo says they understand quite a lot.<br><br>
The kind of communicating you're doing sounds right on, to me. It's factual and positive.<br><br>
I can understand your hesitation to jump in with anything drastic at this stage, but I might start with just more communication. Perhaps something along the lines of "when your body tells you it's time to pee, we can run to the (potty/toilet/bathroom/tub/sink/whatever receptacle/grass/yard/etc) together. That's where pee goes!" etc etc.<br><br>
I've never felt diapers and EC were mutually exclusive. It's just another way of using and thinking of diapers. As long as you're communicating and whipping those dipes off asap, I think you're on the right track.<br><br>
If you've never read any of the books, I recommend them. Ingrid Bauer's Diaper Free! and Laurie Boucke's Infant Potty Basics are available at their websites:<br><a href="http://www.natural-wisdom.com" target="_blank">www.natural-wisdom.com</a><br>
and<br><a href="http://www.white-boucke.com" target="_blank">www.white-boucke.com</a><br><br>
Hope any of this helps you!
 

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I agree with others who say it's never too late to start. I've heard of people doing potty training with one-year olds. It comes out a lot like EC at this age since they don't talk well yet. As long as you are patient it won't traumatize your boys to buy them a potty (or 2, I don't know which would be better for twins) and explain what its for.
 

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Well I don't know if your boys watch any videos or not (mine rarely did or does) but we did check a video out from the library called "Once upon a potty" and watched it right about the same age your guys are. The adult portion will say not to potty train your child until older so just don''t watch that part. Our little guy loved the song and watching the babies playing. We didn't really focus on it as a "this is how it is done" Just thought that since he didn't have any siblings he could watch other kids playing with potties. The potties in the video are like the baby bjorn squatting style one.<br><br>
Just another idea.
 

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I'm just lurking here in the EC board, but wanted to say that buying a little potty (or two) for the babies to play with and get used to, is not going to do any "damage". Mt DD (18 months) is interested in the potty, but not enough to use it. But it sits in the living room, and on the odd occation that she doesn't have her diaper on, and I *think* she might pee, I say to her, you have to pee in the potty... and she will sometimes go and sit on her potty and pee there. She feels so happy with herself afterwards because I really praise her.<br><br>
I guess this is just potty training, but I don't think that letting the boys pee in their potty occationally is forcing them, if they aren't made to sit on the potty by force, like your mother was, that can definately be traumatizing.
 

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Thank you all so much for your responses!<br><br>
We have been having some fun in our home, sitting on potties and peeing on the floor (well, only two of us have been peeing on the floor <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/wink1.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="wink1"> )! I am amazed at what a difference just *communicating* more about our bodily functions has made in my boys' awareness of their own bodies.<br><br>
Jasper definitely gets it, but he's not patient enough to sit on the potty long enough for it to be of any real use. He has started telling me *before* he poops that he has to poop (by saying "poop!" grunting, and pointing to his diaper). I started asking him if he wanted to take off his clothes and sit on the potty, and he did, so I would. . . and he'd sit on it for maybe 5 seconds, and then run off and poop on the floor a few minutes later (just when I'd think, "oh well, I guess he doesn't really have to go"). It was a little overwhelming for him to poop on the floor and then have to deal with being cleaned-up (usually involved cleaning him in the sink because there'd be poop all down his legs), and it was hard for me to keep him calm and reassure him that poop was okay and that it was okay that he'd pooped on the floor. I think it did get to be too much for him because now he'll still tell me when he has to poop, and then he'll say, "pottay?" and I'll say, "do you want to sit on the potty?" And he'll say, "no!" and shake his head. So we've been leaving it at that, and just talking about it, but not actually trying to catch anything anymore.<br><br>
I do still let my boys run around naked all the time, and the other day Jasper started peeing on the floor, then stopped, ran to the potty, sat down on it and finished his pee! We were all very excited. Luke is my quiet observer, so he hasn't been talking about things as much, but I think he's soaking it up.<br><br>
In a way I do think I am "too late" to do EC because my boys now have an emotional attachment to their diapers, and they aren't comfortable sitting on a potty to pee/poop. Perhaps if I had started earlier, it would have just been another unquestionable part of their lives.<br><br>
But, it's never to late to increase communication about anything, and I do hope that all this talk will make potty learning easier in the long run.<br><br>
Thanks again for your thoughts!<br><br>
Lex
 

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Hi,<br><br>
I'm new to this community, and we're also late starters. I've heard about EC when Hannah was about 5 months old. Although I never actually payed attention to her peeing, she did have a very easy poo-rythm. Every morning I have the pleasure to wake up with a nice pood diaper in my face ;-) So whenever I woke up earlier than her, I got up with her, and took her to the toilet to poo just there like that. Hannah really liked the idea I think, at least taking from the smile after the pooing, but I didn't persist in this "experiment" as I was systematically too lazy to get up on time.<br>
A month ago, Hannah was 15 months, I finally realised that getting up early enough for her to poo is in fact a possibility to be more lazy than letting her poo in her diaper (with all the cleaning up to do, a bath and stuff), which motivated me to try it again. Also, we had to go for a weekend to Hong Kong, and as we're using diapers, I didn't like the idea to bring back pooped diapers in my luggage. And yes, it worked fantastically. Since then, every morning has kind of the same ritual. We wake up, Hannah clearly shows signs of wanting to poop (the little farts <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/wink1.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="wink1">, and which point she sais herself "kaka", we get up, walk to the bathroom, and we each sit on our potty, doing whatever we need to do. It's just great, and I'm really proud of my little girl.<br><br>
During the day it has happened a couple of times where she said "kaka", and indeed, after putting her on the potty, she goes. Great!<br><br>
So the poo's, I usually get them. But the peeing... I let her run around naked, and sometimes indeed, when I think she might go, I ask her, and she'll run enthousiastically to her potty, but runs away soon after. Also, I must say, that her running around naked does bring some stress to me, as I'm kind of constantly watching her. I'm sure she feels that stress too. I use diapers, sometimes without the covers, but then, she knows how to remove them. So it's great fun for her to remove them ;-)<br><br>
Okay, a long and chaotic story, which summarised leads me to the main question: how do I monitor the peeing without constantly keeping an eye on her?<br><br>
I'm not yet pregnant, but I've already decided that with the next baby, we'll definitely start earlier. Moreover, we're currently sent as expats to China, where almost 90% of the babies are EC'd, so I can definitely learn a lot from the mama's here.<br><br>
Greetz,<br>
Fiikske
 
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