[Phantaja]

DH and I have decided to not try to not have a baby. Are we TTC? Nope. Am I charting? Nope. Do we want a baby? Well, I do, but he's of the mentality "If it happens, it happens." Not pro or con, but he's a grown up. He know's what he's doing.

I'd like to homebirth. But I might want an epidural. I want to CD. I'm going to breastfeed. But that's about all I have worked out right now.

We aren't making any elaborate long term goals or plans. If we have a baby, s/he'll hang out in out room till our lease is up, then we'll get a two bedroom. I'll probably stay in school till I deliver, if I get pregnant. If I have to leave the state for graduate school, then the three of us are going to pack up and move. no fuss, no muss. If we decide to travel, we're traveling together.

He says that I can work if i want to. We'll do better if I do, but we're not going to starve if I don't. I'll probably stay home till the baby's a year or so. Then grad school. Then I'll work. But nothing's set in stone.

Am I in for a huge disappointment? I keep reading all these threads about charting and CM and huge goals, but somewhere in my mind I keep thinking "there's not enough planning in the world" while another part of me is thinking "you idiot! YOU don't have a clue what your temp was when you woke up this morning!"

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[MaryLang]

I think your doing fine. None of our kids were concieved while TTC, or planning for it to happen or charting. We just weren't TTC or TTA and I like it that way. We would probably like to have more kids in the future, but can't imagine TTC at this point. We have been charting to avoid this past year, dd#2 has a surgery coming up and have focused mainly on that. But I get what your saying, some things tend to sound overly complicated. Sounds like you guys have your basics figured out and to tell you the truth I don't think all the planning makes a difference anyways. Somethings don't ever work out as planned, I'm sure you know that already, even aside from "family planning".

 

[Momma Aimee]

ahhhhhhhh

someof us are just obsessive list maker and planners -- ME

and some of us -- are not -- my sister who had not even thought of "humm someone needs to say with my 7 and 5 yo while i have this new baby till i asked who was doing it

her response was -- i kid you not -=- "Oh S&*t"....

I have the same asmount of tiem till my due date and i have like 5 plans with sub-palsn typed up for DS's care..............

and such is all of life.... from TTC to living, to working, to school to paretning style.......

you are just more laid back.....

however i would geuss, and i could be way off, that a pos POAS test is gonna make you more establish your plans a little more carefully

 

[AugustineM]

Oh no, I think you're doing it just fine. It was the same for me and DH with both of our kids. With #1 we were practicing NFP to avoid, but then after a couple years we started to get sloppy, and we both knew it, but we both didn't care. We were ready for a baby and we knew it might happen, and that was fine.

With #2 I was also practicing NFP to avoid but we used condoms a lot because I was bfing and my cycles were a little weird. We knew I might get pregnant, and just like with #1 we were OK with that. Though I did get pg sooner than I expected I would, it was OK.

I like just going with the flow.

 

[Amber Lion]

Some of us also have DPs that require a lot of lists and planning to feel comfortable with bringing a little soul into the world!

Honestly, I'd be with you on the "not enough planning in the world" boat. But my Dh needs to feel like he's done *something* to get ready for it, so we made a list of what we really felt needed to get done prior to having a baby. I also think it allowed him to stall for time, which is ok because we're not having a baby until he's ready too.

So to kill time until I'm allowed to ttc, I obsess over every little detail, chart to avoid, and work on the goals we've set.

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