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Discussion Starter #1
I was going to put this in pets, but it has more to do with the person, not the dog.<br><br>
So I have been kinda slowing down, and I totally feel bedrest coming, I am 30 weeks today with the twins.<br><br>
My doggy has been totally neglected <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"> I spend time with her, but she is NOT getting a work out and is gaining weight fast, she had surgery, before her surgery she was 109 pounds, she is about 130 give or take right now.<br><br>
She was too thin before the surgery, but has really beefed up now. Anyway she normally gets a walk every night by me or dh, about a mile, But she also gets me playing with her in the yard constantly.<br><br>
She is my dh's dog, that sounds silly, but she LOVES him, he is her person. So with him doing everything, all my stuff, all his stuff, and taking care of all the kids and me, she is getting neglected.<br><br>
I am a tightwad, so I try to save every penny normally. So I posted on Craigslist that I am looking for someone, who maybe wants a big dog, but wants to test one out for a minute, or someone that loves big dogs but cannot have one, to come and play with her, take her for a walk, and just love on her. At first I was just gonna hire a kid to walk her, but she is HUGE, and I wanted someone who wanted to do more then walk her, to really play and pet and be friends with.<br><br>
So I got a LOT of replies, I was shocked, I talked to a bunch of people on the phone. Some were kids, and I just politely said that it had been a few weeks since she has been on a lead,and I do not want them ending up in Canada because she wants to go go go! She is normally really well behaved, but ya never know.<br><br>
I kinda blew off them men, I know that sounds aweful, but if I want to meet someone, my dh would probably not be home, and I would be more comfortable with a women here then a man. sound horrible? Sorry.<br><br>
Anyways, so I "interviewed" some people, they came here yesterday, and spent awhile talking to me and trying to get to know Lucia, who can be really intimidating just because of her size. She is a DDB (think Turner and Hooch).<br><br>
One women I fell in love with, she is older and recently has gone through some trauma, lost a son 2 years ago, and then now just moved out on her own getting a divorce after 29 years of marriage. I was a little worried about her age, and my big dog, but she had recently lost her rottie who was even bigger then my dog.<br><br>
She came in and Lucia went right over to her, no barking, nothing, very odd, but awesome. She was so cool, she spent time with Lucia in the back yard, talked to me for over 2 hours and even got to know my dd and read her 2 stories. Then she took Lucia for a walk after she got comfortable with her in the back yard. It all went very well. She wants to come over everyday, and if she has something to do, every other day.<br><br>
Anyways dh gets home and I am singing this women's praise, I love her, I want her to adopt me, she is the sweetest thing. Dh was a little worried about her coming here when he wasn't home, and thought maybe I should have waited till he was home. He in the end trusted my choice.<br><br>
My MIL however freaked out when I told her about it. Saying this women could be a criminal and could hack us all to bits in our sleep now that she knows where we live. She went on and on about how dangerous this is, that I better "count the silver and china". wth? I don't have any silver or china to steal. The best thing anyone could make off with is my laptop.<br><br>
I kinda blew her off, like my home, my choice, but today she left 4 messages on my phone, saying how truly dangerous this is. That I am endangering my dd to let this women into the house, to let anyone into the house that I do not know.<br><br>
I have tried to tell her that I talked to the women for a good 2 hours on the phone, and if things came to it, she is in her 60s, I could probably take her lol. MIL thinks this women could bring friends. MIL says its not a natural thing for a grown women to want to be friends with a strange family and just be buddies with anyones dog for no pay.<br><br>
My question, if you got this far (thank you!) Have you let a stranger into the house like this before? I really like this women, from what I know of her and I am excited to learn more about her.<br><br>
If this is such a dangerous thing to do, how do others do this type of thing? dog walkers, babysitters, housekeepers, lawn care, stuff like that?<br><br>
Is it the responsible thing to just hire a company to do it? Suck it up and pay for it, even though the dog walker probably would just walk the dog, not have a loving friendship with her.<br><br>
Would you have let the women over?<br><br><br>
I am eager to see your take on it! Again if you got this far I really appreciate it.
 

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If she didn't give me the creeps, I would do what I wanted to do. I think we don't rely on our instincts enough and as a whole people don't reach out to others. You made a new friend, your doggie gets some lovin that it sounds like he needs and the lady makes a friend and gets some doggie time without the responsibility. It sounds like everyone wins here.<br><br>
I hired my dog sitter after meeting her once. Gave her my house key and everything. I think sometimes you just get a feel for people and you have to go with it.
 

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So I personally wouldn't have done what you did, and it is entirely possible that your mil is right and this woman could be a criminal and all that, but my first thought about why the woman would want to do this is that she is older, probably retired, and bored or lonely.<br><br>
I'd be far more concerned about a stranger just showing up at my house asking if she could walk my dog or found my dog or whatever.
 

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I say go with your gut. I may not have done what you have done- yet what's Important is that YOU were comfortable. I would suggest that your DH meet this lady and for him to tell MIL to back off <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"> I hope that this lady can help with the dog, so you guys don't have to worry so much about her.
 

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Discussion Starter #5
This women is so cute, she looks like sally jesse raphael, lol even has the big red glasses.<br><br>
I never got an "off" feeling from her, and I was a little embarrassed by the mess in my house, dd made a huge mess, and it never gets cleaned lately until dh gets home. I appologized and she was like "Honey, don't sweat it, you should have your feet up anyways".<br><br>
When they got back from the walk, she went right in the kitchen and filled the dogs water bowl up. I never felt off at all about her. Maybe I am too trusting, I don't know, I appreciate the replies though.
 

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I think your MIL has issues. You have this lady's contact info, yes? If she was open about sharing that I see no issue. Plus she sounds like a wonderful person, so treasure that you found her and don't be poisoned by MIL's paranoia.<br><br>
I think its really sad that people can be so negitive about the rest of the human race. Maybe she watches too much cable news. I really believe that this type of fear is what leads people to conclude that the issues faced by so many in the world are "not their problem".
 

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I don't see what the big deal is. I would say that given what this woman has been through, she probably appreciates the chance to interact with your dog as much as you appreciate her doing it. I really enjoy dogs but I'm not in the position to own one right now. I totally wouldn't have a problem walking/playing with one for free (if I didn't have a bunch of kids at home to take care of<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngbiggrin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="orange big grin">).
 

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If MIL is so very concerned, she could hire a private investigator to check the woman out and check for criminal history. I'm not being snarky. This really might set her mind at ease.<br><br>
Maybe MIL has heard about the Craigslist Killer case that happened recently in the Seattle area and her spidey senses are especially tingly? She's concerned and protective. That's not such a bad thing!
 

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I think your MIL is a little paranoid. I've had someone come play with my dog for years now for free. He hasn't been able to have one of his own, but he really loves them so he visits mine. Although he often makes a huge mess and seems to trail wadded up paper towels in his wake, he's not a creep or criminal or anything. Just someone who likes dogs.
 

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Discussion Starter #10
LOL the private I think is funny because she hired one to get as much info on ME as she could when I started dating dh, seemed really ticked off when she found nothing special.<br><br>
I have the womens info and when she took Lucia for a walk yesterday she actually left her purse/keys here so I would know she wasn't going to take off with my dog. Her idea not mine. I am guessing she had to trust me too to leave that here.<br><br>
My dh will meet her tomorrow, he had to work out of the house for a couple of days, but normally he has been working at home in the workshop. So after tomorrow I am sure he will be home all the time.<br><br>
I finally got sick of not answering the phone for MIL, so I called dh at work and told him on a break to call his mom and tell her to chillax. he will. He gets annoyed with her as much as I do. I try to be polite and say things to appease her, he won't do that. He will give it to her straight and he always sides with me lol.<br><br>
Lucia seems so happy since yesterday, tired and content.<br><br>
She called me a minute ago and asked me if I like danishes lol I guess she is bringing some. I think she needs someone to talk to too, and is lonely.<br><br>
I guess if I thought she was weird or creepy I wouldn't have invited her to meet us and walk Lucia.<br><br>
MIL does worry a lot. I understand her concern and understand she lost a lot of control over her sons when they got married, I try to be understanding, and I usually am pretty bendable around her sometimes. It just seems odd that its this huge deal?
 

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I'm currently living with a couple I found on craigslist. I met the woman once before I moved in, and we don't share fluency in any language at the moment (although we're both working on that) so it's not like I did any heavy questioning.<br><br>
Of course, I might be crazy... or they might be crazy for letting me into their house... but I've been here over a month and so far it's worked out well. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 

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I am the most cautious of cautious people. I rarely trust anyone.<br><br>
But I hired our cleaning lady <i>over the phone</i> from across the country. We were moving here and I needed someone to help us. I just clicked with her over the phone and I went with my gut. She had such a pleasant voice and I knew immediately that I could trust her. I called her references and they all sang her praises. She's been with us for nearly 3 years now and has had a key to our place from the beginning.<br><br>
I say go with your gut. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 

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you're not nuts and you didn't do anything wrong! it sounds like you found a good friend for your dog, and she may end up being a good friend for you, too.
 

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Maybe your MIL is jealous? And from the fact that she did a serious check on you, this sounds quite typical for her.<br><br>
From now on, if you talk to your MIL before the woman is coming to walk the dog, tell her you will call her after she leaves...if you are still alive or not tied to the chair.
 

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I don't think you're nuts. I see so many posts on Craigslist getting rid of their dogs for your reasons, so I applaud you for finding a solution. I would just follow your gut and honestly dogs are better judges of character than we are, so if your dog likes her, than she's probably okay. My dogs won't let anyone near us that seem even a little off. You're mil seems a little paranoid and controlling. Just do what seems right for you and your family.
 

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Well since chances are that you are more likely to be killed by the person sitting at your own dinner table, I'd say your MIL needs to relax a bit. I consider myself very street smart and I think your new friend sounds sweet.
 

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<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
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<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Bug-a-Boo's Mama</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/15374890"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Maybe your MIL is jealous? And from the fact that she did a serious check on you, this sounds quite typical for her.<br><br>
From now on, if you talk to your MIL before the woman is coming to walk the dog, tell her you will call her after she leaves...<b>if you are still alive or not tied to the chai</b>r.</div>
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That made me snort.<br><br>
Anytime I've sold stuff on Craigslist dh's best friend insists I call him and he stays on the line while I take care of things. He's hyper paranoid, but it's because he loves me.
 

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Discussion Starter #18
<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Bug-a-Boo's Mama</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/15374890"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Maybe your MIL is jealous? And from the fact that she did a serious check on you, this sounds quite typical for her.<br><br>
From now on, if you talk to your MIL before the woman is coming to walk the dog, tell her you will call her after she leaves...if you are still alive or not tied to the chair.</div>
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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> I think I pee'd a little..
 

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Your MIL sounds nuts, and that's confirmed by the fact that she did a background check on you. I'm sorry, but who does that? That is the stuff of "evil MIL in a romantic comedy."
 

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<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>lach</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/15375042"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Your MIL sounds nuts, and that's confirmed by the fact that she did a background check on you. I'm sorry, but who does that? That is the stuff of "evil MIL in a romantic comedy."</div>
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Hmm....I dunno. I met my husband on a dating website, and I did a check on him before meeting him IRL. I don't think I'm nuts or overly paranoid. This is someone I planned on spending time alone with and possibly bringing around my children.
 
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