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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I probably am <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/rolleyes.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="rolleyes">: , but wanted to solicit you all's thoughts on a touchy issue with me and my mother. My mother has always been pathologically frightened that dd isn't getting enough from my milk. She is 14 mos and nurses pretty frequently, but also eats a good bit of solids, which my mom has seen her do over and over. She happens to be tall and skinny, but very healthy and full of life;t hat is just how she is. The past couple days, dd has been sick and not eating any solids, but of course nursing like a newborn <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngtongue.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Stick Out Tongue"> . I have been totally fine with that, knowing she was staying hydrated and getting a fair amount of calories, not to mention comfort, in the bargain. Well, my mom comes over today to bring me something I wanted to borrow from her. She then says that she has brought sophie some baby food that she had at her house from when dd was little. Maybe soft baby food would make her feel better, and be easy to eat. I said, "Well, she hasn't been wanting to eat much of anything, but has been nursing a lot and getting what she needs." Mom hems and haws, and says "Well I thought it might make her feel better to have something in her tummy." She HAS had something in her tummy, as much breastmilk as she can hold, mother!! It does have CALORIES, you know <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/angry.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="angry"> . She shuts up for a minute, trying to come up with anotehr plausible excuse for me to try to feed my kid something I know she won't want. THen says, "When I take antibiotics, it says to take it with food." I say, very pissed now, "Have I not mentioned about three times that she does have something in her belly? MILK!!" It's not that I might not have tried to give her something to eat later if she acted like she was feeling better, but that I felt she was trying to make me do it and make me feel bad for not "feeding" my kid. Am I just being too defensive? Mind you, I am very tired and my brain is not working properly today <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/rolleyes.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="rolleyes">: .
 

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Hi Lydia, it's Kelly from AP mommies on another board. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngbiggrin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="orange big grin"> Just wanted to commiserate- my mom lives several states away yet always had to make a comment about Brooke 'getting enough to eat'. And she was in the 90% ile for weight the first 6 months (75 now). <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/rolleyes.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="rolleyes">: So, it doesn't matter what their weight, some grandmas just don't understand. I was FF and my mom is totally clueless about BF'ing. Just take her comments with a BIG grain of salt.<br><br>
My mom must have noticed my irritation because she doesn't say much any more. Boy was she pushy about giving her solids at our visit in June when DD was 10 months old. She kept saying "look, she's starving". fun stuff, eh? Just wanted to know you're not alone and Brooke TOTALLY just wants to nurse when she's sick too, like a couple weeks ago. It's very normal. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 

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Both my mother and MIL constantly tell me my children are starving. My twins ARE tiny but healthy which I think is the most important indicator of a child getting enough nutrients. My son is huge (16 months, 27-28 lbs) and eats almost nothing. He nurses when he wants to and nibbles on various fruits and veggies all day long.<br><br>
I believe it is actually healthier not to eat when we are sick, as it takes a lot of energy to digest food and when we are sick, our liver is busy cleaning out the sickness and can't handle also filtering the food. That is why breastmilk is so good for kids when they are sick. The twins weaned at 2.5 and then got the roto (sp?)virus. I really wished the girls hadn't weaned because they couldn't keep anything down and we ended up in the hospital because dd needed to be rehydrated.<br><br>
Of course, your mother may just zone out or ignore you when you make good arguments for your parenting decisions. I find that when my mother says or does something related to parenting that we have already discussed I just change the subject-sometimes over and over again <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngbiggrin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="orange big grin">. Another tactic is to pretend that you didn't hear her. My MIL is great at this, it is sort of ironic that I learned it from her.<br><br>
Hope your babe feels better soon!
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
My mother truly seems not to care about my well reasoned arguments. She gets set on her ideas and charges ahead like a bull. She has actually improved recently, but still loses control of her big mouth at times. Her three main obsessions are: food, bowel function (of dd <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/rolleyes.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="rolleyes"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">, warmth of the child. However, she loves dd passionately, and is always there to help generously when I need her. This makes up for a lot, I must say. If I want her to help me, and she's usually the only one that can at the last minute, I just have to ignore her the best I can when she gets on a tangent. The only problem is that she doesn't LET me ignore her, she just goes on and on. I think next time I will go out of the room while she is babbling; maybe that will get the message through <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngbiggrin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="orange big grin"> .
 
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