Am I right to be angry about this? What do I do?

That's just the thing ... we HAVE a toddler bed. It's currently in storage, along with most of our stuff. We're living with my sister until our house is built. There's barely enough room for our bed right now, much less a separate bed for dd. I've flat-out asked them where they expect us to put a bed for her. The response: "We could figure out a place to put it. Good grief, are you even going to let her have her own room when she starts school?" No, mom. I'm planning to go away to college with her so we can still cosleep. She was barely a year old when mom said that to me! :

I'm actually pretty sure that by the time we get the house built, dd will be ready for her own bed. I won't be ready for it, but she will, and that's okay. Hopefully by that time we'll be preparing for a NEW baby to cosleep with.

I'm just really mad at what feels like a passive-aggressive attempt to undermine our decision to cosleep.

I would have the same first initial reaction as you! But you know, while my family thought it was a bit odd that I sleep with my DD, my mother actually wanted to respect my wishes and does bed share with my DD when I am away traveling for work. Initially I tried to convince her not to as I was worried about her not being as vigilant as I am with the safety issue. But she wanted to maintain the consistency with her. But I think I would have been fine either way. On the other hand, my DD visit's her father for overnights once a month or so and she sleeps in a bed of her own. And I want it that way. I don't want her bedsharing with him & his wife (not that they would since they think my parenting philosophies and vegetarian/organic lifestyle is wakco). And she does fine there. Kids roll with the punches and realize that there are different rules at different places. I think that your child sleeps with you because you are mommy and may adjust okay to her own bed at gramma's.

But I what I would be PO'd about is the fact that your mom is calling you wierd (which essentially undermines your authority and parenting decisions). I think it's fine to want to replace the fold out with a cute toddler bed and I don't see a huge leap in change from the couch to bed. So IMHO,maybe a tad over-reactive to that fact. But not in the words she used and the potential motive (if she has one). But I wouldn't worry too much about her being able to sway your dd to sleeping alone. She's way too young (1.5 yo right?) to get that message from gramma and will want to continue sleeping with you because you are mommy.

Not to be long winded here, but might I suggest that you approach this by letting her know that you like the toddler bed and think it's very cute and are sure dd will absolutely love it. I appreciate the effort you go to accomodate our lifestyle by purchasing organic food (blah blah blah). I'm just confused about why you would want to tell your grandchild that her mommy is wierd and lead her to think that what she's been doing all this time (bed sharing) is somehow wrong. It's fine for her sleep in her own bed here at gramma's but at home we have different arrangements and I need you to respect that.

Okay...I'm done!

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I think most of our parents view co-sleeping as some sort of abberation that needs correcting, kind of like BFing Its the old "Well, we didn't do things that way and we're afraid you're screwing up your kids by doing it different." I, too, would have had your initial reaction b/c I've very sensitive and cognizant of the fact the my mom thinks DS (who is 3.5 BTW) needs his own bed. She is constantly trying to foist various toddler beds, twin beds and trundle beds on us. I used to sheepishly try to explain why we enjoyed co-sleeping and why I didn't think it was a problem. I've come to realize there are just some things my mom and are aren't going to agree on....and this is definitely one of them.

Also, like a pp said, since DD is accustomed to sleeping "in her own bed" at grandma's house, the new bed probably won't be a big deal. Just part of the things that are done a little differently at grandmas. BUT, it definitely is NOT OK for your mom to call you weird or undermine your parenting practices.

Good Luck!

Oops ... I need to clarify. Mom didn't call *me* weird, she called *herself* weird! Thanks, y'all, for responding. I've had time to think about it and I know that I overreacted. I'm glad now that I bit my tongue.

I've discovered this week that dd actually sleeps a LOT better -- actually through the night -- if she's in bed by herself. I usually put her to bed with cuddling and reading, then once she's asleep I get up and do stuff around the house. I go to bed by 11PM or so; she usually wakes up then, and several more times during the night until we get up at 5:30AM. We have a king-size bed, so Tuesday night I tried climbing into bed on the opposite side from her, giving her LOTS of space so that she didn't know I was there. She didn't wake the entire night. She still likes to cuddle to sleep, thank goodness! I'm not ready for her to have her own bed, but I think *she* might be. It's still going to be several months before we have room to do that, so we're going to have to work out some kind of arrangement so everybody can have their optimal sleeping situation.

Thanks again, ladies. I do know how lucky I am that my parents are accommodating of *most* of my "odd" parenting ideas. Mom is fully supportive of the no-sugar rule and actually prefers to cd ... YAY!