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my dp and i are okay ...we try to work things out amongst ourselves but we have had a very stressful month with lots of visitors (i hate to say it but i think that is a major part of the stress)
my dp and i have ongoing issues but for the most part seem to be able to work them out.
the week my mom was here was an exception .
basically all i want to know :

if there ever came a time for dp and I to part would i be put under a microscope because i see a psychiatrist?

i hate to live my life like this but my ma wants me to have all my peas in a row or something like that
 

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hmm, i never thought about that, me and hubby (not legally married) are having a rough time and im pretty sure its over, and i have to see a psychiatrist like every 3 weeks for major depression with psychosis, and severe ocd with paranoid delusions... it doesnt affect my parenting tho... i pretty much keep it all to myself and nobody usually notices.. but i cant work because of my ocd practices and am on disability.... My hubby knows im an excellent mother and me and my kids have soooo much fun together and are inseparable and i dont think he would ever try and take the babies away from me, and if he did, my psychiatrist knows i am not a threat to my kids, and if yours knows that he will tell the court if need be, im sure.
 

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Unfortunately it *could* be used against you. But anything could be in a divorce typpe situation where there is a custody concern. I think alot of what matters is how "pushy" and/or nasty the other parent wants to get. In a custody battle, each party gets put under the microscope.

But most important, I think, is that your therapist, psychiatrist, ect, would be able to back you up as a capable, loving, caring & responsible parent.
A little story....3 of our 7 kids are really my stepkids (I've raised them for 12 years though) Their biomom is mentally ill. Boarderline personality disorder, mood disorder, lots of anger, and other things. She has a very clearly documented pattern of abuse and neglect of the kids in 2 countries and three states. She has on record several different medical and educational professionals stating their concerns and observations with her and her children. She has had CPS involved several times. She had them taken away once. Her own family showed up in court to testify against her. She abandonded them once and went to another state. She's had long periods of time with no contact. Each of her sons have had black eyes as toddlers. Her disabled son has had his head bashed against the linoleum floor repeatedly. She is very verbally abusive. She is very, very manipulative and smart. Can convince someone that she is perfectly normal is she needs to.
All that and yet once it came time for the custody battle between my dh and her, all it took for her was to have her fairly new shrink see her interact with her children for 10 minutes (!) for her to declare that biomom was a fit and capable parent. And the judge agreed. Just like that. No questions about how my dh was always there for the kids, no problems whatsoever....had her family to back him up, had teachers and doctors to back him up, ect....

I would venture to say that in most cases the mother retains custody. It is very difficult to take custody away from the mother & give to the father. There would have to be a very, very compelling reason or other things going on. (btw, she got custody of them, couldn't take it and gave them to us.)

I have the same concerns as you with my ex and if dh and I split, with him though I'm doubtful he'd pull anything.....
 

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I'm sure it would just depend. I guess all break-ups are different. My sisters both divorced their second husbands and there were kids in the picture and even though the EX-h both cheated on them the EX-husbands got the kids somehow. So I'm sure if he wanted to use it against you he could, but that would probably just be based on your situation at that time and how you are getting along wouldn' it?
 
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