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Perhaps it's being a first timer, but I'm just completely not feeling ready to meet this baby yet. In fact, I'm not really feeling ready to be in the home stretch, even though I'm past 36 weeks now.<br><br>
I've got all the paraphenalia that we need, and my house is trudging on toward being ready for a baby -- the place has been a pit since we discovered we were pregnant and needed to shuffle all the rooms around to make space, but we're finally digging out from the mess, and have gotten the carpets cleaned and everything set up. Meals are cooked and frozen, everything is just waiting...<br><br>
So it's not so much that I'm not physically ready, I just somehow don't feel emotionally prepared yet. And I don't quite know what to do about that, or how to make myself feel ready. I feel like maybe I need to take some time out for myself to really get in touch with what's going on, but things are flying by so fast that I'm still kind of going "Huh? How'd it get to be October already!"<br><br>
Luckily, my body isn't showing any signs of being ready to spring into action, since the kid hasn't dropped yet, and I'm only now starting to feel my BH contractions. But it seems like everyone else is getting so anxious and excited to give birth and I have to admit that I'm still a little leery and thinking that if we could put the whole thing off until Thanksgiving, that would be OK...
 

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i dont know if im quite ready yet <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> its so weird thinking that in a month or less ill have 2 children in my arms and bed and life. im so used to my life with elwynn.. its a bit scary to think that im going to have another child to love...not that i dont also totally look forward to it and i love this baby already more than words can say.. but my arms are so used how his little body feels..it will all be so different with this new one! i cant wait to get to know this little person who has been growing inisde of me, but at the same time im enjoying these last few weeks alone just me and elwynn.. i feel guilty sometimes feeling this way, but i also know that its normal to have these feelings.<br><br>
im not showing any signs of baby coming yet either, thiugh i have mostly everything ready i havnt got the birth supplies i need yet ( most of them anyways) my baby blessing is the last weekend in october ( ill be 38 weeks then) and i still want to do a belly cast.<br><br>
you are NOT the only one who feels this way. i assure you!
 

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Well, I hope you don't mind me popping over from January, but I feel the same way. I know I'm not as far along as you, but 26 weeks still seems like the time is short to me. I was JUST thinking about how much I've wanted this baby, and for so long, and the idea of going into labor and giving birth, and then having this child to care for for the rest of my life and I can't change my mind if I don't like it for whatever reason... I'm so nervous! I totally don't feel ready. I don't know if I can GET more ready, I've done all the research, I've read all the books, I've heard the good and the bad... and I still don't feel ready. Anyway, like the pp said, you're not alone in feeling this way. Oh, and this is my first too. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 

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Well, its my 2nd and thats why I dont feel ready! I am so worried about how I will take care of two, when I am barely managing to get through the day with one. I try to tell myself that being 17 months pregnant :LOL and taking care of one is different than having a normal body and taking care of two. But still....<br><br>
With this big spacing between kids (and I know so few people who have a spacing this long ~5 yrs) we have gotten very used to our family of three. Its going to be weird to adjust to a new dynamic. Ben is my #1 guy. How will that change when #2 comes along?<br><br>
But we will cope...just like every family before us. And I just need to look forward to whatever gifts this babe will bring to our lives! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/love.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="love">
 

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I was defnitely not as ready last time as I am this time. When I was pg with Nate, I had it in my head that I had until his due date to get everything done and be really ready. I was induced five days early and it really threw me for a loop LOL.<br><br>
This time, I'm nowhere near as prepared as far as the room or things like that go, but I have 7 days until I can have a homebirth and a big part of me is thinking that going into labor in 8 days would be fabulous.<br><br>
I think I'm just having a harder time this time. My body is older and more tired and I spend my days running around with a four year old. I know I'll get less sleep once the baby is here, but at least I'll be able to get up off the floor again...
 

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I go back and forth on this one, on whether or not I feel ready and on whether or not it bothers me that I half-the-time don't feel ready. On some level I think I know that this baby will come in his own time no matter what I feel about it, and that the experience of having him will change what I thought I thought anyway. (What nutty logic is that! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/wild.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="wild"> ) I guess what I mean is that I'm trying to accept my utter and complete lack of control over the birth and the circumstances around it, and that there is absolutely no way for me to really know or prepare for what's ahead. So I go moment by moment -- seizing the momentum to make lists, clean, freeze food, wash clothes, etc., but not letting that stress keep me from my naps; letting my thoughts flow from contingency to contingency but trying not to judge; and sometimes just sitting around thinking about where I am in my life and where I might be going.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>BensMom</strong></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Well, its my 2nd and thats why I dont feel ready! I am so worried about how I will take care of two, when I am barely managing to get through the day with one.</div>
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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/yeahthat.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="yeah that">:<br><br>
So no, I don't feel ready. But I guess it's just one of those things in life that you can get all prepared for but still not be ready for KWIM? You can't predict what life with a new babe is going to be with. There are too many variables... personality, possible health issues including bfing, etc etc. My journey on the path of motherhood has been one of much growth and has changed me personally like nothing else. It can be hard and stressful but is more rewarding than anything else I've ever been through that was hard and stressful.<br><br>
On a positive note, babies don't come out as tantrumy toddlers!!! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngbiggrin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="orange big grin"> You really do get the opportunity to grow with them and learn how to meet their needs as they become apparent. Newborns usually do no more than sleep, eat, and poop for awhile as you regain your strength after birth and they seem to slip into your life in such a way so that soon you won't be able to imagine your life without them (no matter how crazy it might get).
 

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I'm not feeling ready either. (will be exactly 36 weeks on Tuesday.) I know that physically I'm not yet gearing up for labor, and that's good because the baby's not quite completely cooked yet. I've been a little stressed about this too, but like you I think some of it is that I have had so much work stress and financial wranglings and uncertainty about those things and other plans that I've also felt like in certain ways I've missed out on some parts of the pregnancy. There is a certain having to let go of the things that have not happenned or I have not done in this pregnancy and trying to figure out what I can or can't still do and what I want to do or not. (For example, I was all keen on the concept of exercising more and going to prenatal yoga, but practically it just hasn't happenned and it may or may not.) But I am also feeling good that in some way part of the growth of pregnancy for me has been letting go of some of my perfectionism and my constructs about the way things "should" be.<br><br>
Practically there are a few more things to do (I have this week and next week of work to get through before I go on leave and I have things to finish/get closure on there.) Work colleagues are throwing a shower for me on the 27th, and I think as I get a little closer the other people around me will also be gearing up more for the baby (friends, family, etc.) We have a convertible car seat in a pinch but are planning on getting and infant car seat. We don't have that done yet but we've already selected the one we want which was the hard part, so it should not be a big deal to just buy it and put it in the car, and DH or someone else can go do that for us even in the days after the baby arrives if necessary. I need a few more diaper covers but was kind of waiting to see if anyone buys any off our registry and also to see how big it seems like this baby is going to get (might be a waste to get a nice cover in a small size that will only fit till 10 lbs if the baby seems like it's 9-10 lbs!)<br><br>
I think that there isn't much to do to get ready emotionally that you can force. I think it will occur/is occurring naturally. Also, as first timers and people who are due mid-November, we also have to keep in mind that although we could technically have the babies any time, statistically it's likely that we'll go to or past our due dates, and also that other people in our DDC who are having their babies now are either due really in the end of October or the very beginning of November, and are also second time moms, and are also having their babies kind of early through inductions/sections due to some complications. And those who are ready and gearing up are also generally a few weeks ahead of us. I think a lot happens in the last few weeks to get us ready, and I suspect that in a month or so those of us who are around 34-36 weeks now will be posting how we are so totally sick of being pregnant and are sooo ready to have our babies! In my midwifery experience, people who are still perky and enthusiastic are not really going into labor anytime soon . . . when they get really grumpy and tired and miserable THAT's when you know they're at the end! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngbiggrin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="orange big grin"><br><br>
Hopefully you'll be able to make some time amongst work and school to just slow down during the last weeks of your pregnancy, and spend some time with/for yourself and your DH enjoying the end stage!
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Kavita</strong></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">In my midwifery experience, people who are still perky and enthusiastic are not really going into labor anytime soon . . . when they get really grumpy and tired and miserable THAT's when you know they're at the end! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngbiggrin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="orange big grin"><br></div>
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<br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/nod.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="nod"> I'm 39 weeks today and just can't imagine feeling like this for the next 3 weeks if I go over again <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/redface.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Embarrassment">
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Kavita</strong></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">In my midwifery experience, people who are still perky and enthusiastic are not really going into labor anytime soon . . . when they get really grumpy and tired and miserable THAT's when you know they're at the end! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngbiggrin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="orange big grin"></div>
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So what does it mean that I'm tired and grumpy about the fact that things aren't ready? <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/winky.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Wink"><br><br>
Seriously I vacilate so much between worrying that I am going into labor, now and feeling panicky because there is so much stuff to do on the house, to thinking, I should just get the minimum set up, and relax, to thinking, Oh god, I could keep getting bigger for another 6 weeks. I found myself feeling odd heading home tonight, and thinking, oh god please, don't let the baby get here before the birth tub! Then wondering if I went into labor who could I send out to get me a fishy tub.
 

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I am not ready for a baby...who is really?<br><br>
How can anyone really be ready? I think it's impossible to be prepared and know exactly what to expect. And, I think that is okay!<br><br>
But, I am totally with you on wanting the babe to stay inside another month and half. For one, I want it to fully develop and be as healthy as possible and I want a HB.<br><br>
The house is in decent shape, food is frozen, dipes and wipes are ready, etc...but i just ordered my birth kit yesterday. Still need to buy the right size adapter for the hose (using an aqua doula). Plus, we're talking about a life form here...that I am responsible for! Wow, that's big. Can you tell I am a first time mom-to-be?
 

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add me to the list of those not feeling ready...I have a hard time with change anyway (I believe change is good in theory, but in reality often have a hard time accepting it! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/nut.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="nut">), and this is the/going to be the biggest change imagineable, so it's making me anxious....<br><br>
I think part of it is wondering how motherhood will change me, my relationships, my identity...I worry that somehow I won't still be *me* once the baby comes...it's hard to articulate exactly what it is....<br><br>
I also feel somewhat stressed about my work situation (trying to wrap up loose ends before I leave; deciding whether I am going to return after my leave is up, etc.) and feel like there is no time for me to mentally prepare for the baby because of all of these day-to-day demands. I brought this up to my midwife and she said there is basically no way to emotionally/mentally prepare for birth/motherhood. It's true. I guess I just think if I mentally mull over every possible situation that somehow I'll be prepared if it happens. When, really, all it does is make me worry more! :LOL<br><br><br>
thanks for bringing up this issue, Belleweather. It helps to know these feelings are normal and I'm not alone. I'll be reading to see what more everyone else has to say....<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/notes.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="notes">:
 

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I go from wanting her here and not daily. This being my third, I know whats coming and I'm not to nervous about that, just about how all the kids will get along, the extra $ needed, and another life to help grow. I really want to be able to move painlessly again, and to wear my favorite sweater, but I know she's not ready yet, and since I'm not as big with her as I was with my boys, I'm scared she's not growing right...oh all the anxiety! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/nut.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="nut">
 

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I'm on the fence a bit too. On the one hand, I really want my body back all to myself. Yeah, I know that's selfish. But the wee babe is not exactly being gentle with it at the moment. And my mom has made all the arrangements to come down as soon as the baby is born and she will be put to work in the kitchen etc. so I don't have to worry about pre-preparing any food or grocery shopping or anything, we've tentatively agreed on a signalling system to let the neighbours know when the baby has arrived and I've bought all the 0-3 month baby clothes that I need. And I have enough fuzzy little terrycloth diapers to start.<br><br>
On the other hand - I have two more weeks of work, a kitchen that's still in a bit of a shambles (although thanks to a visit from our electrician neighbour yesterday, I am no longer in imminent danger of electrocuting myself or my unborn child), my house is a disaster, I haven't washed any of my baby clothes, I don't have my homebirth kit and I'm still a week away from being ok for a homebirth, and our home phone line is gibbled (as soon as it rains, our phone stops working - and our local phone company is on strike). So, not so ready.<br><br>
One thing I plan to do is make a list of all the stuff I want to get done before the baby arrives, prioritize it, then ignore it completely until I'm off work.
 

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I wasn;t ready at all for Sam - literally, given how early he was - so DH and i have really made an effort to have everything ready this time around. Our diaper service dropped off the first batch today, so we even have that ready for when the babe arrives.<br><br>
Emotionally and physically I feel ready, too, because I'm just tired of being tired and achy. I'd prefer the next round of tiredness that I know I'll get with my newborn.<br><br>
I want my body back and I want my brain back. I want people to stop telling me how tired I look.<br><br>
I know that when the babe arrives, it's going to be a total whirlwind and there is no way I can really be ready for what adding a new person to my household will be, but that being said, I personally feel as ready as i can be.
 

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I'm part of team vacillate here, too. At 37 weeks, so technically ready for anytime, but trying to prepare myself for the possibility of another 5 weeks of pregancy. Some days I feel great, accomplish lots and feel like baby is sooo much easier to look after on the inside. Then there are the other days: the sooner the better, get this kid out of me, I'm totally finished with being pregnant days.<br><br>
Other than increasing BH, my body isn't showing any signs of this happening anytime soon, so I'm trying to mentally prepare for getting a little more pregnant. I can only guess that I'll just start having less pregnant godess days and more get it over with days... until it finally happens. There's lots of lessons for me about giving up control through this whole process- I can only assume that it's preparation for parenthood.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>beachbaby</strong></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I brought this up to my midwife and she said there is basically no way to emotionally/mentally prepare for birth/motherhood. It's true. I guess I just think if I mentally mull over every possible situation that somehow I'll be prepared if it happens.</div>
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I agree! So many people ask Ben if he is ready to be a big brother or if he understands what the new baby means. I laugh and say that I dont understand how the new baby is going to change our lives. How on earth could he? None of us know what we are in for! :LOL<br><br>
But its gonna happen some time, whether any of us are ready or not!
 

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I don't have time to elaborate right now, but I don't feel ready either! Afetr skimming through all the responses though, it seems like it's perfectly normal. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"><br><br>
I've been doing all the superficial stuff (washing the valances for pete's sake!) and avoiding the real stuff (collecting birth supplies, deciding on my music, getting food together). Sigh. At least we are all here together, right?<br><br>
And how is it October 17th ALREADY?!!
 

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Probably the only one- but I'm so ready. I'm just stuck in fat, chilled, mellow mode- the house isn't clean, the stuff isn't ready, but I am and so (in 10 days, otherwise it means an argument with the midwife) is baby. I'm just relaxing and enjoying the last few days or weeks of being just me and the boys and the husband, now. I can handle the idea of going into labour next week, I can handle the idea of waiting until December, though none of my trousers fit any more. It's all good (thus proving Kavita's point that I have at LEAST another week to go.)
 

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Flapjack, I'm totally ready, too!!<br><br>
Two weeks ago, probably wouldn't have said that. But now, due to minor body discomforts that are getting annoying, seeing all of her cute stuff, feeling her move around, and having only 2 weeks 'til EDD... come on out, little girl!!!<br><br>
My Dr. said if she doesn't gain weight in a week, she will induce labor, Doc fears she isn't getting enough nutrients... Although I'm not totally for induced labor, part of me is fine with that idea, just to get the little plum out here with Dad and I!<br><br>
I feel like I've survived pregnancy, now I wanna take on motherhood <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/love.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="love">
 
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