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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
....who constantly gets blindsided by the junk food offered to my dd?<br><br>
We unschool and are foodies. We have taught dd from day one about healthy foods and junk. We eat very well at home and dd has an amazingly open mind about good food. I used to be in the "we eat well at home, I am not going to worry about out of house treats" camp. But it is getting WAY out of hand and I always seem to be surprised and unprepared to handle it.<br><br>
Yesterday was a perfect example. Dd plays the violin and played with some other kids in her program at a nursing home. It started at 4:30 and went about 45 minutes. It was a pleasant concert and fun to chat with the residents afterwards. I had dinner in the oven set on a timer so we would all sit down to eat as soon as we got home. As we are getting ready to walk out the door, a nurse pushes in a cart filled with already filled 10 ounce cups of Hi-C and those HUGE grocery store sugar cookies with about a 1/2 inch of cheap, bright-colored frosting heaped on each one. Pink with sprinkles. Every 5 yos dream come true. AUGH! So here I am getting ready to attempt to feed my family a nutritious organic meal and now I have been forced into negotiation mode with a hungry 5 yo.<br><br>
Dd is very reasonable. She understands why eating this stuff is not good. She easily accepts my suggestions and is never angry. But I know it disappoints her. Last night I suggested that she could have a half of a cookie and skip the Hi-C. She agreed to it and all was fine. But I could see her longing stare the at 10 oz cups of liquid crap. AND I was still ticked that dd just ate about 200 calories worth of "food" completely devoid of any nutrients right before dinner. It was innocent enough. I understand why they offered it. And if anything, I am far more OK with it in a situation like that.<br><br>
But.....<br><br>
This happens almost every single freaking day!!!!! Often multiple times. We cannot go to the bank without a sucker. We cannot go to the grocery without the well-meaning baker handing out cookies. Story hour at the library often involves some kind of junk food. The chiropractor, dh's officemates, and the hardware store all have bowls of candy out for the taking. Orchestra practice involves candy "bribes". Thank goodness dd does not go to SCHOOL!<br><br>
If it were just the occasional birthday party, parade, and well-meaning nursing home staffer, I would be OK. But almost each day I have to suggest moderation to dd and sometimes just outright say "you probably should not have another piece of candy today". It is so sad that dd has to choose constantly between healthy eating and those fun-looking treats. It is just mean.<br><br>
Not really looking for advice since I know I cannot change other people's behavior, just a rant really......
 

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Sorry you have to deal with that so much. What part of the country do you live in? We live in Colorado and we don't run into that often. People generally ask if they can offer candy to DD before doing so and the answer is usually no. The only place where she expects something is the grocery store and it's only one grocery store. If I really don't want her to have a cookie while we're shopping, we go to a different store.
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
We live in the midwest<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/eat.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Eat">:
 

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Dang! My boys are in school and don't encounter half the junk you have described. We are pretty lucky. Maybe it's the area. I'm in Olympia, WA which is pretty health conscious. Ds1's school has great lunches...stuff like hummus with whole wheat pita, organic baked potatoes, Sicilian Chicken Pizza and they always have a salad bar with lots of organic choices on it. He did have one teacher that did candy bribes which I didn't like at all but luckily that doesn't seem to be "normal". Ds1 is also in orchestra and there are no bribes at all. Ds2's preschool prefers healthy snacks are brought and they serve water instead of juice. The bank and most other places gives stickers. We are pretty relaxed with food around here but I would be frustrated too with what you are describing.<br><br>
Off topic but yesterday I let my boys get "Fun Dip" from the store. Oh. My. Gosh. Never again. The little one was literally bouncing off the walls. It was a good reminder to myself of why I avoid that sort of thing! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngtongue.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Stick Out Tongue">
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>milehighmonkeys</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/12365140"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">People generally ask if they can offer candy to DD before doing so and the answer is usually no.</div>
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They usually ask me at the bank or the store as well. Although when we go to the grocery store I do try to go at a time when I know the if a free cookie is pushed on my child that it won't ruin a meal. But for the most part, I don't remember the last time a grocery store clerk pushed a free cookie on us. Usually we have to ask. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/nod.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="nod"><br><br>
I actually have children that refuse the lollipops at the bank, unusual but true, and that's with no urging from me. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/shrug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="shrug"> However, at the store they love the free cookies and sometimes will take the bread, cheese or deli meat instead, just depends on their moods.
 

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I'm with you, although I don't see as many treats. What gets me going is the amount of stuff that is given to children. Toys in happy meals, goody bags at birthday parties, prizes for games at church events, trophies for playing soccer, libraries with reward programs for reading, pick something from the goody basket after you attend ballet 10 times.<br><br>
Can't life be enjoyed without the need to keep giving my kids stuff? I want my kids to enjoy activities because that is what they want to do, not because they are going to get something.<br><br>
Sorry, just added my own rant to yours.....
 

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I don't get it as often, but it does surprise me. I get such looks when I say he doesn't eat candy. Why is it a given that a young child should be munching on candy?<br>
We're still not ready to do the traditional trick or treating. We go to a local community that hands out crunchy granola stuff.
 

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I'm in KY and we don't run into this very often at all. Although DS does eat every single sample out at Whole Foods when we go. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/eyesroll.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="roll"> Which sometimes includes a single potato chip or organic cheese puff.<br><br>
BUT: I use an ATM rather than an actual bank teller. I don't go near enough to the bakery counter when we go to Kroger for a cookie to be handed out. Our library doesn't give out food with storytime (it's a craft).<br><br>
As for the nursing home and orchestra practice it seems like you're pretty stuck other than making a suggestion. Maybe you could offer to bring the snack yourself next time and replace it with some trail mix bars and organic juice?
 

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I'm in Ohio and it's like that here. My DD will get a "treat" at school because everyone did their homework. Um, isn't that supposed to be expected, not something that deserves an extra reward? She goes to Girl Scouts from 6:30 - 8 pm. Now wouldn't you think most kids had just eaten dinner? But no, they have to have a snack. Some of the girls are overweight so the leader said we should only bring healthy snacks. The other night the leader brought the snack -- Girl Scout cookies. Huh? I could go on and on. People feel like there has to be food served at every single meeting, kids are constantly getting candy for "rewards" at school, etc. It's insane. And then the school sends home newsletters about how to get your child to eat better and exercise more.<br><br>
And I agree with the person who complained about non-food rewards too. Why do kids need a medal for everything? I remember when I was a kid, I showed horses and went a whole summer once without getting a single ribbon. But I survived and it made it mean so much more when I did a lot better the next summer, KWIM?
 

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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
Yeah, the stuff gets to me too. I really do not think anyone stops to realize that all of the STUFF ends up somewhere. And if kids are going to regularly go home with stickers, cheap plastic toys, packs of cheap crayons, etc..... that it will accumulate, filling our life, land, water, and air with poison.<br><br>
My MIL once said that I was "becoming increasingly intolerant of the world around you." Maybe she was right<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/redface.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Embarrassment">
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>lindberg99</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/12367255"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">People feel like there has to be food served at every single meeting, kids are constantly getting candy for "rewards" at school, etc. It's insane. And then the school sends home newsletters about how to get your child to eat better and exercise more.<br></div>
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This is our experience, too.<br><br>
It is beyond frustrating, especially since we follow the Feingold program for my 4 year old son. My 9 year old had a flag football tournament after school the other day. They had snacks available for the kids to buy which included Doritoes and Gatorade. They also sell this crap during lunch time at his school. All that doesn't affect 4 year old yet, but I'm frustrated with it just the same. 9 year old didn't eat his dinner after the crap he ate.<br><br>
If it was once in a while, I could deal with it, but, like Yooper, it's almost DAILY here. The only time it's not everyday is when we don't go anywhere.<br><br>
It makes food be a frequent topic of discussion on outings, at soccer games or wherever because we always have to talk about why something is or is not ok to eat and negotiate whether or not they can have the bad stuff at that time. It's doubly hard when they see all the other kids eating it without a second thought. It makes me worry that, in order for my ds to behave well now (and he does behave so much better on Feingold), that I am creating food issues in the long run.
 

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Now just imagine if your child had life-threatening food allergies. It sucks!<br><br>
I cannot imagine having DS in school with a class of 30+ kids with birthdays, holidays, etc!<br><br>
DS is really good about saying no when offered but I can see he is disappointed. I wish I could say yes to a special treat. But knowing that one bite could kill him makes it pretty easy to say no!
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Proud2BeAnAmerican</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/12370182"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Now just imagine if your child had life-threatening food allergies. It sucks!<br><br>
I cannot imagine having DS in school with a class of 30+ kids with birthdays, holidays, etc!<br><br>
DS is really good about saying no when offered but I can see he is disappointed. I wish I could say yes to a special treat. But knowing that one bite could kill him makes it pretty easy to say no!</div>
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Oh, I really cannot imagine that! Especially kids who are allergic to peanuts, which seem to be in so many types of candies. Are you homeschooling him?
 

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Since starting the Feingold program, we've cut down on random junk majorly. We don't accept lollypops from the bank or hairdresser, period. I've . My kids know this and have stopped expecting it. discussed with the chiropractor to stop offering my kids junk food- DS sometimes takes a sticker instead, sometimes we come home empty handed I do allow DS the occasional "artificial junk" at a birthday party, but day-to-day he isn't allowed to have it.
 

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my daughter is only 3 and we totally experience this, EVERY DAY! For us though, not only is it the grocery store, and bank...its our neighbors house and my mother! I dont know what to do. If we are at our neighbors and all the girls are drinking chocolate milk, i feel so mean telling her she cant have it. Sometimes she is ok with water, but already she has it in her head that "good girls" get rewared with cookies and candy. How did this happen?! It wasnt us. And my mom insists that 1 popcicle a day wont harm her...but my gawd, i cant even imagine the crap thats in them.
 

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My daughter will always say "no" when they offer her a lollipop, becuase she doesnt like them, but sometimes they offer her a bar of chocolate or a cookie she'll take it, have a bite and give to me so i can save it for later...<br>
I dont think there's a problem with it, becuase junkfood is not allowed in our house, so those small pieces are the only kind of junk food she'll have.
 

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I don't tell dd that most of those things are an option, we also don't go shopping or banking on a daily basis either so it isn't much of a problem. DD knows about the cookie at the bakery and I usually let her have one unless we are having dessert that night, but I have found that unless I point it out or encourage her to ask for the candy she doesn't even realize it exists. At school they do give candy sometimes as a treat and the kids can earn candy as a prize if they are cooperative all week at her daycare, but the candy is so small that it would only stop the dinner time appetite of a bird. I expect candy or cookies at some places to so I plan around it, at any special celebration or performance there is bound to be junk food. I have also noticed that even when she does eat the cookie or a candy she usually only eats part of it on her own and I don't need to say anything about it. I can see how this would be frustrating if you are going somewhere almost daily and she is asking for the candy constantly. I have found that it is very hard to go somewhere daily with dd though so I haven't really found it to be an issue.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Yooper</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/12365742"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">We live in the midwest<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/eat.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Eat">:</div>
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MI? When we lived in MI we had the same problem. We're still in the midwest, but do not run into it so much anymore, maybe b/c we no longer live in a small town?
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>ErinsJuneBug</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/12370811"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">my daughter is only 3 and we totally experience this, EVERY DAY! For us though, not only is it the grocery store, and bank...its our neighbors house and my mother! I dont know what to do. If we are at our neighbors and all the girls are drinking chocolate milk, i feel so mean telling her she cant have it. Sometimes she is ok with water, but already she has it in her head that "good girls" get rewared with cookies and candy. How did this happen?! It wasnt us. And my mom insists that 1 popcicle a day wont harm her...but my gawd, i cant even imagine the crap thats in them.</div>
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In your situation, I'd make healthy popsicles that your DD can have- frozen juice in a popsicle mold, for example.
 

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Discussion Starter · #20 ·
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>roomformore</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/12371342"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">MI? When we lived in MI we had the same problem. We're still in the midwest, but do not run into it so much anymore, maybe b/c we no longer live in a small town?</div>
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You guessed it. Small town MI.
 
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