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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
my dd wants to go to a theme park 3 hours away for a weekend with her friends family and church group. i don't go to this church, and i know the mom well enough that my dd spends the night there, but not well enough to feel good about her going 3 hours away to a theme park with them.<br><br>
when i was her age i went on weekend trips with friends. is it wrong for me to tell her no about going? i know my intuition is the most important thing, but i'm wondering if i'm too sheltering or my parents were not sheltering enough?<br><br>
p.s. she's almost 11
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>funkygranolamama</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/11621109"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">my dd wants to go to a theme park 3 hours away for a weekend with her friends family and church group. i don't go to this church, and i know the mom well enough that my dd spends the night there, but not well enough to feel good about her going 3 hours away to a theme park with them.<br><br>
when i was her age i went on weekend trips with friends. is it wrong for me to tell her no about going? i know my intuition is the most important thing, but i'm wondering if i'm too sheltering or my parents were not sheltering enough?<br><br>
p.s. she's almost 11</div>
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I wouldn't let my 12 year old daughter go and probably not even my 15 year old son unless the friends were like family and I felt 110% good about it. If there is an inkling of a bad feeling, then you need to trust that feeling.<br><br>
There's nothing wrong with being a little overprotective. We live in a different world than when I was that age. It just isn't as safe and children are exposed to things much too early. Better safe than sorry.
 

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nak<br><br>
if you are uncomfortable or unsure, ask to talk to the leader. find out how many parents were going, the sleeping arrangments, etc. 11 sounds old enough if it is well chaperoned IMO.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>New_Natural_Mom</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/11621330"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">nak<br><br>
if you are uncomfortable or unsure, ask to talk to the leader. find out how many parents were going, the sleeping arrangments, etc. 11 sounds old enough if it is well chaperoned IMO.</div>
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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/yeahthat.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="yeah that">:<br><br>
I'd let her go. Its only 3 hours away, so it's not like it's across the world or anything.<br>
And only for a weekend. Just talk to her about your expectations for her while away on this trip. And hey you can even have her call you at certain times so you know she's doing good.
 

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I'd let her go, but do alot of talking about safety and what to do if she feels unsure of a situation. I also agree that you should speak with the leader first and have all the details. It is hard letting go sometimes...
 

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At that age I would not let her go unless the family was a total best friend family and like second parents to her or something (the situation I was lucky enough to have as a child).
 

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I'd let her go.<br><br>
Is there something specific that worries you, or is it just a general feeling that she's not ready for this? Does she feel ready herself?
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>ilovebabies</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/11621320"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">We live in a different world than when I was that age. It just isn't as safe</div>
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I heartily disagree given that crime rates are fairly level and you can buy a kid a cell phone or a panic button that will alert a call center with the child's coordinates.<br><br><div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
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<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">and children are exposed to things much too early. Better safe than sorry.</td>
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If she's 10 and been to school I doubt she'll see much more at a theme park.<br><br>
I do think the mom needs to just follow her own comfort level.<br><br><i>Marlin: I promised I’d never let anything happen to him.<br><br>
Dory: Hmm. That’s a funny thing to promise.<br><br>
Marlin: What?<br><br>
Dory: Well you can’t never let anything happen to him. Then nothing would ever happen to him. Not much fun for little Harpo.</i>
 

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Let her go. She will have this memory forever. But I understand how you feel. ((HUGS))
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>funkygranolamama</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/11621109"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">but not well enough to feel good about her going 3 hours away to a theme park with them.</div>
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This is all that matters. I have an 11 yo. too, and I think I'd say no to this. I'd also worry about attempts at religious indoctrination by the group.
 

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I have an 11 DD and I came into this thread fully prepared to tell you that I'd send my DD. I still may say that, but this quote made me pause.<br><br><br><div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>A&A</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/11624433"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I'd also worry about attempts at religious indoctrination by the group.</div>
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By church I'm assuming you mean a Christian one. We are not Christian and this would be a concern of mine. More so on what my DD may say back if this was tried. LOL<br><br>
10/11 year old girls can vary widely in responsibility, I can only go by what I see in my 11 year old. She is very responsible and I KNOW she could appropriately handle this type of situation and any sort of safety issue that may arise. (she's a black belt and has been through intensive safety training, so she's very aware of what 'could' happen) I also have to look at the fact that she is traveling with a church group. Indoctrination aside, most church groups aren't going to bring along the communal bong or neglectfully trade the kids for new living room furniture. I'd feel pretty good about DD's safety.
 

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I would let my dd go in this situation after talking to her about responsibility and safety. I also very much disagree that the world is a more dangerous place I think it is statistically safer.
 

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Discussion Starter · #13 ·
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Pancakes</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/11624642"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I have an 11 DD and I came into this thread fully prepared to tell you that I'd send my DD. I still may say that, but this quote made me pause.<br><br><br><br><br>
By church I'm assuming you mean a Christian one. We are not Christian and this would be a concern of mine. More so on what my DD may say back if this was tried. LOL<br><br>
10/11 year old girls can vary widely in responsibility, I can only go by what I see in my 11 year old. She is very responsible and I KNOW she could appropriately handle this type of situation and any sort of safety issue that may arise. (she's a black belt and has been through intensive safety training, so she's very aware of what 'could' happen) I also have to look at the fact that she is traveling with a church group. Indoctrination aside, most church groups aren't going to bring along the communal bong or neglectfully trade the kids for new living room furniture. I'd feel pretty good about DD's safety.</div>
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this was a concern of mine also, but not really a big deal due to the fact that she has been to the weds night church and a kids night out (for a few hours) a few times. the kids go into church and eat then go straight outside to play. there's not even a required class or a bible study for the kids. kind of odd, but i feel okay about that.<br><br>
what i worry about is her stopping to look at something that catches her eye then her getting lost. i also worry about abduction and the fact that many parents don't watch the kids of others as well as they watch their own. There is also mention of going to a corbin bleu and raven symone concert and that sounds like an awful big crowd.<br><br>
as far as school goes, she's homeschooled.
 

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<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>funkygranolamama</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/11626838"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">this was a concern of mine also, but not really a big deal due to the fact that she has been to the weds night church and a kids night out (for a few hours) a few times. the kids go into church and eat then go straight outside to play. there's not even a required class or a bible study for the kids. kind of odd, but i feel okay about that.<br><br>
what i worry about is her stopping to look at something that catches her eye then her getting lost. i also worry about abduction and the fact that many parents don't watch the kids of others as well as they watch their own. There is also mention of going to a corbin bleu and raven symone concert and that sounds like an awful big crowd.<br><br>
as far as school goes, she's homeschooled.</div>
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An abduction in such a large place is VERY unlikely.<br><br>
If you go over expectations and let her know that she is required to be with the group at all times. Call up one of the parents that are going and make arrangements for them to keep a close eye on your child.<br>
The concert of Raven and Corbin seems like a really fun thing an 11 year old would absolutely love!<br>
I'd honestly let her go. Just let her know your concerns and contact the group.<br>
And have her check in at certain times.
 

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My dd is the same age and I understand your fear about crowds I guess I just have the response that exposing them to things will make them safer in the long run. Do you have a cell you can send with her? When we go to amusement parks we split up because my kids don't like roller coasters and they go ride the rides they want to and we meet later but they have a cell phone. My dd also went to a Miley Cyrus concert with her friends and had a blast we also took both kids to a My Chemical Romance concert and I was surprised by how much safer it felt than concerts I had been to when I was younger. There are so many more rules and so much more monitoring now that lawsuits are a sure thing when something goes wrong. In the scheme of things I don't think either of those activities are particularly dangerous. The more experience kids get the more prepared they are.
 

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At 11 yo, I would have let my son go. Hell, on his 12th birthday he went to Mexico for a week on a school trip (talk about a panic stricken week). If you do decide to let her go, send a phone with her and make sure to have the cell phone numbers of all of the adults going with you and saved in the phone. Then she can call you and the adults she is with, and you can call her and call them. Almost constant contact/access...<br><br>
As indoctrinated as I am to fear abduction, I try to not be scared by the things that "could happen". There is probably alot more danger in and around my house/neighborhood than at a public theme park.
 

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I would encourage you to call and talk to the trip leader from the church. When I ran the teen youth group at our church, we took incredible care to follow all of the "best practices" for group outings, especially with the younger teens. They should be able to tell you all about their safety plans, adult/kid ratios, emergency plans. For us, all of chaperones were background checked (and DMV checked if driving), we had plans for who was at the beginning and end of each group, how often groups gathered for check in, who was stationed inside and outside of each public restroom, who carried what emergency supplies, everyone's cell phones on speed dial, who slept across the door to avoid, um, visiting in the middle of the night... all of that was spelled out before we left for a weekend trip. Adults were never allowed to be alone with a kid, DH and I were never alone with a kid... All of those rules were really carefully enforced.<br><br>
If they can't give you all of that, then think twice about sending her. If they seem like they have their act together, then I'd allow her to go.
 

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Discussion Starter · #18 ·
I decided to keep her here. My great grandmas 96th birthday party is that weekend, too, and you never know at that age if there will be another next year. she also has a cousin going to that party that she wants to play with. this cousin recently moved closer to us and i'm hoping it will be an opportunity for them to develop a friendship. just works out all around<br><br>
thanks for all of your inputs and ideas. maybe next year...
 

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I wouldn't be comfortable with the trip. I am glad you made a decision. I hope she has fun at the birthday party.
 

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I wouldn't let my kiddos do it. I'm sorry, I'm just too overprotective and paranoid I guess, but unless it's a family member, it's just a no go.
 
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