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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I guess it's about time I posted this, since DS is almost a year old. I had a natural hospital birth with DS. I went into labor some time during the night 8/27/05, though I didn't realize it for some time. I was just really ill about waking up every couple of hours with cramps all night long...around 6 in the morning I finally realized what was going on. I got up and timed myself for awhile, figured I might as well let DH get some sleep. After a while I woke him, and we timed contractions for awhile. Finally we called my doula, and she suggested taking a shower and seeing if that made a difference in the contractions. Meanwhile, my husband was desperately rushing around and getting the carseat installed...DS wasn't "due" until 9/7 and we really weren't prepared. Well, I just stayed and stayed in the shower, and my doula just came on out - I guess she figured when we didn't call back, things were really moving. I labored at home for a good long while with her assistance. I would've headed to the hospital much sooner if she hadn't been there - one reason I hired her is I wanted to be home as long as possible. When I started shaking and threw up, she decided we'd better go on in.

I'd pre-registered to avoid all that paperwork, but I had to re-give my info to the check-in lady anyway. My doula let me know, though, that it really would have taken a lot longer if I hadn't. By then I had, I don't know, maybe a couple of minutes between contractions? Then they put me in a small room with a monitoring belt around my belly...lying down until they decided they had a good strip. This was...extremely uncomfortable. The belt just felt so tight, and every contraction with that thing on, lying down, was miserable. One reason I really wanted a natural birth was my scoliosis - during pregnancy even a short vaginal check on my back was very not fun. Anyway, I finally got to the l&d room, and we were in luck - there's one nurse at our local hospital who doulas in her spare time, and she was my nurse. In birthing class, a hospital nurse had said the rule was nothing AT ALL by mouth. Not that I intended to follow this, but it was nice to see that my nurse had set out ice chips for me.

Well, they never did get a good strip with that monitoring belt. I'd been told I'd only have to wear it for, I think it was, 20 minutes at the top of each hour, but they never took it off. I guess I was afraid to just take it off myself, that if something happened with the baby, it would be my fault if they didn't notice it in time. I stayed in the bathroom through most of the rest of my labor - about three hours. In the bathtub, actually, with the shower and the lower spigot running. It was kind of funny, some guy was supposed to draw blood from me somewhere during that time, but he refused to come into the bathroom - "I don't think I'm allowed to DO that!" Weird, once I was on the bed pushing for all the world to see, he had no problem drawing my blood (a little late then anyway, wasn't it?). Anyway, the pain got so bad I decided I couldn't take it anymore and I wanted something to make it STOP. I had read enough to think this might be transition. If transition, fine, if not, I wanted pain meds. So I told my doula I wanted something for the pain, knowing, since we'd discussed what I wanted to happen (no drugs), that she would have me checked first...it was nice not to have to try to explain my whole thought process to someone at that point. I was at nine centimeters.

By this time, I was really hurting and was emotionally pretty messed up as well...I ended up with PPD and really, I started feeling that way before DS was born. My midwife (CNM) asked if I wanted my water broken, and I finally let her, hoping it would speed things up. She said something in a "trying not to sound tense" voice about meconium and got really urgent about the baby coming out. I had tried kneeling on the bed holding onto the top part (the back was raised), but she had me get in the lithotomy position. She said she would need immediate access to the baby's head to suction because of the meconium. Everyone was doing the "push! push!!!" thing to me by this time, the midwife, my husband and doula. I was hurting enough and feeling badly enough that by then, I mostly just was caring about my pain and not the baby. Which scared me, and I still hate it, but that's how it was. I didn't really have a strong urge to push and I didn't want to because it hurt but I did finally suck it up and try really, really hard. She cut me twice, I guess I wasn't pushing good enough on my back.

So DS was born, about an hour after I started pushing, about four hours after we got to the hopsital. They cut the cord quickly and moved him to the little bassinette thing and started working him over like crazy. My first reaction was to try and tell them I didn't want the cord cut yet, then realizing why they'd done it (to move him fast). My husband was overjoyed "It's a boy!" and just sobbing. He stayed right by DS' side (as we'd discussed he should no matter what). My doula stayed with me and held my hand while they sewed me up. I asked if DS was okay, but it was partly because I knew I should care. Mostly I was just focused on me, but part of me was scared stiff at how I wasn't reacting to my baby. The local didn't take very well for the stitches and I just screamed. I think that was the most vocal I was for the whole thing.

Well, DS was just fine, and we got to stay with him for about an hour before they took him off for all the testing (DH went with to make sure they didn't do anything we'd said not to.) He had a go at nursing, and latched on for a little bit. I couldn't hold him up, but with DH and my doula's help, I think we did pretty well.

It took a while, but DS and I are very well attached at this point and have been for quite some time. It was so not instant though! I never disliked him, it just felt like he was someone else's baby, and I wished whoever she was would come back and take care of him like she was supposed to.
: I went on 25 mf Zoloft about mid-October, which helped immensely, and weaned myself off of it Feb/March. I did at least have a natural birth like I wanted, and we're still nursing...I have a lot to be happy about really.

I do wonder if all that trouble over meconium was necessary, and if things might have gone better if I'd stayed off my back...I don't know. If anyone has any thoughts on the whole situation, I wouldn't mind hearing them. I'm still not happy with how things went, though I don't know if anyone was at fault, or if that's just the way it worked out for us.
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by Doodadsmom
I do wonder if all that trouble over meconium was necessary, and if things might have gone better if I'd stayed off my back...I don't know. If anyone has any thoughts on the whole situation, I wouldn't mind hearing them. I'm still not happy with how things went, though I don't know if anyone was at fault, or if that's just the way it worked out for us.
Thanks for posting your story. I had a similar experience RE the meconium/being forced to stay on my back and have been questioning the necessity of it all. I'm convinced that 99.99% of the crap that happened to me during labor & delivery was completely unnecessary, although dh & I made the best decisions we could under the circumstances. We're having a hombirth this time around, though.
 

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I'm so sorry you had a rough time. Many things sound unnecessary about what happened. Why were you having blood drawn during labor? That just seems weird.

Meconium does not require you to be on your back and being on your back is NOT helpful to getting a baby out quick. Meconium in and of itself is not a concern, especially that late in labor, depending of course on the amount and shade. They did not have to take your baby away, they could have lifted him onto your belly to check him out. Babies do much better on the mother. They did not have to cut the cord immediately if it was long enough to reach your belly and even then, you can give it a minute. They did not have to take your baby to the nursery. All testing can be done right with you in your room. You did not have to keep that monitor on. They don't even need a "good strip" first. It sounds like you had a completely normal and natural labor that was unfortunately interrupted by the impatience and protocol of being in the hospital.

Many
to you. If there is a next time, I really suggest a homebirth.
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
Thanks for the responses! It's nice to hear from other women who wouldn't just think, "So what was the problem?" I gather it's hospital policy to draw blood - in case an emergency c-section is necessary. So yeah, I thought the pushing stage was an interesting time for that. I'm guessing that the guy with the needle was covering himself - it probably wouldn't look good on his part if my records showed he hadn't done it. Sheesh. They also stuck me with what I assume was pitocin without asking or mentioning they were going to do it.

I thought seeing meconium as such an emergency was a little off, but I wasn't sure - and I don't know how much there was, I didn't see when she broke my water. But his Apgar score was fine. They said he had a little meconium is his airway, but they suctioned it out, nothing further down.

As for being on my back - most babies are born facing the mother's back, right? So it seems to me that if they really wanted to suction immediately, having me birth kneeling with the midwife behind me would have made more sense. I guess they just wanted things to follow their usual course?

Anyway, like y'all say - next time, I think I'll just stay home.
 

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reading your story I see a lot of similarities between it and my ds#2's birth (also last agust 05). The main differences were that I did not let them break my water and I put off the request to go lithotomy until the last minute. Also I was very adament about not getting off the strip they did right when I got there. They really wanted me to stay on it but I didn't and my doula helped advocate for me. They wanted to do the strip hourly but I expressed my feelings about NOT wanting to get back in the bed and my doula asked them to just hold the hand held doppler up to my belly whenever they wanted a strip so I never had to get back in bed, I stayed standing up or sitting on the birth ball.

I waited for a bit longer than you did to push (because I didn't let them break my water - so they didn't know my ds had meconium). When I finally dilated fully I felt the urge to push on my own. I pushed all the while with my water intact (i pushed mostly on my knees leaning over the bed with the bed up and the support was wonderful because I was so tired and weak). I believe this was the only way I was able to push him out with no tears. Towards the end of pushing my water broke during a push and they saw the heavy meconium and at some point I gave in to the requests to flip over. Ds was almost out at that point. Ds was about 9 and half lbs with a 15 inch head and I didn't tear or allow them to cut me. Overall I was extremely happy with the way the birth went, I have been on a high from it ever since and the whole experience actually led me to want to become a midwife. I bonded fast, as soon as he was born and it was like nothing else. Even still I developed PPD at around 3.5 months pp but none of that effected bonding at all, in fact ds was my light, one of the only things that made the depression better. I had learned a lot from my first birth and I knew that I wasn't going to allow them to break my water at all. I think it would have been a lot different if I had allowed it because they would have known about the mec sooner and probalby tried ot manage the birth more, scared me, etc. I didn't want anyone to tell me when to push or urge the situation and nobody did because they had no reason to suspect anything was wrong.
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
They used a cordless monitor on me - so at least I didn't have to be in bed for that - I actually had it on in the tub. But I wish I'd just thrown the thing somewhere...by the time it came off, it had left a deep indention in my stomach. Since I was pretty much all baby (didn't gain much during pregnancy), I wonder how much that was pushing on DS and I wonder if that might've stressed him and resulted in the meconium. Maybe it's far fetched, but somehow it would just figure. I'm glad your experience went better!
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by Doodadsmom
It took a while, but DS and I are very well attached at this point and have been for quite some time. It was so not instant though! I never disliked him, it just felt like he was someone else's baby, and I wished whoever she was would come back and take care of him like she was supposed to.
:

I do wonder if all that trouble over meconium was necessary, and if things might have gone better if I'd stayed off my back...I don't know. If anyone has any thoughts on the whole situation, I wouldn't mind hearing them. I'm still not happy with how things went, though I don't know if anyone was at fault, or if that's just the way it worked out for us.
I totally agree that had I been able to get up and move around, my ds would have been born naturally, instead I needed an emerg c/s after about 19 hours full on labour (60 hours total). But no, they wanted to monitor him constantly and wouldn't let me up.


Not planning on another dc for another 12 months, but when I'm due I'll be at a different hospital - hopefully one with waterbirth facilities!!! Even better, I'll be at home. *adamant*


I felt like I was the babysitter - like his mum was going to turn up any minute and take him home. My milk never came in, so by 6 weeks ds was exclusively bottle-nursed
. It wasn't till he was about 8mo that I admitted I was his mother, and had ppd - and since then we're like we bonded at the first instant.
If it happens again, I'll actually go and get professional help, instead of denying.
 

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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
I'm glad I'm not the only one who's felt like the babysitter...not that I would wish that on anyone, but you know what I mean. I wish I'd found someone who was into more natural treatments for PPD, but at least things are better now. My chiropractor was willing to work with me, but by the time I looked into getting help, I wanted something that would work immediately, yk? So yeah, if I ever have another DC, I'm gonna be more proactive.
 

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All I can offer is lots of
to you. Our stories are very similar in so many ways and I had PPD too. Just know you're not alone and this is an awesome place to come for friendship and support.

You're a great mama,
 

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oh yes. with ds- i felt very un apart of it all. dd at home it was very different.
I am glad you are feeling better. I am on cymbalta.
you are doing good mama.
 

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Hi there mama.

I also had a negative birth experience that affected my bonding with DS. I ended up with an unneccesary c-section and a perfectly healthy baby whisked away immediately after surgery. I did not get to hold him for an hour or so, didn't even get to touch him right after his birth.

I was also given pitocin without my knowledge, my birth plan was completely ignored- not one part of it was honored.
:

You have the right to be upset about it. I realized that I put my trust in my doctors to know what was best for me and my baby and that was my error.

I bet there are a lot of us mamas who can guess a little bit of what you are feeling.

 

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Thanks for sharing your story.
I'm sorry things didn't go as well as planned.
I was on my back pushing for a while (my midwife had just checked me on the bed and I felt like I needed to push) and I was making almost no progress. When my midwife suggested squatting on the birth stool ds was out within 20 minutes. Don't let it make you feel like you weren't doing a good job pushing- I think being on your back is just an almost impossible position.
I would be happy to give you the name of my homebirth midwife if you plan on having more! I also just found out by searching www.birthpartners.com that we have a homebirth midwife right here in town.
I'm glad to hear you're doing better with the PPD and that you and Josiah are doing well.
PM me if you ever want to go to the park again- I'd love to see how he's grown and changed.
 
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