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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/heartbeat.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="heartbeat"> greetings mommas!<br><br>
...my 6 1/2 month old loves to pinch and claw when he's snuggling with me ...he pinches my breast while nursing and claws my face while sitting on my lap and interacting...I say "ouch" "that hurts momma" and take his hand and kiss it and say "gentle baby"...but often the only way he stops is when I empatically say "NO". He respects that word only.<br><br>
He is also rough with the pussycat in the house (who is one of the most patient creatures I've ever seen!)...and often won't stop pulling and clawing fur until he hears the word "no"...<br><br>
Is there an alternative to the harsh "no"...i'm afraid his first word will be "no"...
 

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I used to say hands off to DD all the time when she touched something she wasn't suppose to. I don't know how that is when it comes to nursing. Can you tell him to be gentle and then open his hands and teach him to give soft touches?
 

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I've been teaching my son gentle touch. So I say something like, "Ouch, Caden! That hurts mama. Touch gentle." I then take his hand and show him how to touch my face (or picka body part) gently. It takes some repeating, but I think he gets it b/c he will change the way he touches now when I ask him to touch gentle...some of the time anyway!
 

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I agree with the pp's "gentle" really worked with our dd for both the pinching and the cat--it gives her something specific to do instead of the rough touch and it has worked well.
 

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Whenever possible, I use words to tell children what to DO instead of what NOT to do. "Gentle hands, hands off, hands down, soft touches" would all be good ways to do it. I would use a slightly different tone when he is hurting you.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Caden's Mom</strong></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I've been teaching my son gentle touch. So I say something like, "Ouch, Caden! That hurts mama. Touch gentle." I then take his hand and show him how to touch my face (or picka body part) gently. It takes some repeating, but I think he gets it b/c he will change the way he touches now when I ask him to touch gentle...some of the time anyway!</div>
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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/yeahthat.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="yeah that">:<br><br>
It worked trally well with DD and out cat. I don't have the problem with DS yet, but I'm using the word gentle and a demonstration of gentle touch to keep DS from pulling DD's hair, we are making some progess <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 

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You know, I don't think there's anything wrong with an occasional no. Even a harsh "no!" Of course your 6 1/2 month old won't stop what he's doing unless you use an emphatic tone. If you're just gently saying something like, "That hurts, please be gentle," for all the baby knows, you're saying, "I love it when you do that, you little sweetie." When the baby hurts you, I think it's useful to SOUND like you're being hurt - you don't necessarily have to yell (though I think a yell of pain is okay), but a genuine note of alarm or unhappiness is appropriate. Babies can get things from your tone of voice that they won't be able to get from words alone until they're a lot older. My baby quickly learned not to pull my hair or grab at my glasses because my tone of voice let him know I had a problem with it. I also think "no" is useful, though I don't say it very much. If you want to be able to get your message across verbally to a baby, something short and simple like "no" is the way to do it.
 

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I know my fear was always that if I expressed the negative, that's what the kids would focus in on. I also didn't want to say things like, "No hitting" because sometimes kids hear the action "hitting" and not necessarily the "no".<br><br>
So, I try and phrase my requests in positives, such as "Oh, remember to use gentle touch with the kitty cat" or "Remember that we color on paper" or "Our water stays <i>in</i> the bathtub". I try to tell the kids what I want them to do rather than what I don't want them to do.<br><br>
Also, with each of my births I've made a concerted effort to teach "gentle touch" to the youngest child. I'd take their hand and slide it over my arm while saying "gentle touch, gentle touch". It took lots of repetition, and several months to make it an ingrained habit, but then by the time the next baby was born I could say, "Give the baby gentle touch" and they'd know exactly what I expected! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"><br><br>
HTH!
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/heartbeat.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="heartbeat"> thanks y'all...I DO know that my gentler tone has no results...and when I DO yelp "ouch", my babe stops - sometimes he laughs and sometimes he cries (I think 'cause I startled him)...dunno if he's still too young, like you say, Daffodil, to "get" the words.<br><br>
I like the idea of stating what I'd like him to do...I'll try to rephrase my negative statements into more positive suggestions.
 

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when my dd was around that age her (lack of) fine motor control did not allow her to be gentle with her ferrety friends, all she could do was grab/squeeze/pinch them, hence she was not permitted to touch. now at age 11 months she is very gentle with them, without any prompting from us. her hands 'work' better for her, and enable her to stroke heads and lift tails in an appropriate manner. the ferrets are actually rather fond of her now<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/winky.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Wink">
 

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I use the 'gentle touches' and help show child what gentle is.<br>
If I see the child being gentle, I say "Aww, thats nice" , "oh, kitty LOVES that"<br>
"look at your gentle touches, ever nice" ect.... It has really helped!
 
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