[mamajama]

:
I'm sharing this as a way to vent instead of describing it all, I figure the email is self-explanitory. My kids dad just left today for a trip to California, For "about a month" with his girlfriend. He's a big jerk:

Oh yeah hey, don't worry about us. Everything's fine. No, no, really, I don't need any extra money for babysitting etc. the $280 on my paycheck is more than enough for everything. And, what with the $300 I might get from the maintanence people, we'll be rolling in it. It's much more important that you have enough for your vacation.
I'll just buy **** a new hat. That's fine. Actually I guess he should buy it since, as you say, he's the one that lost it eh?
I find peace knowing that you'll be back...sometime... and that I can get ahold of you anytime, via email that you might check, if there's an emergency, say, another midnight trip to the hospital. Just knowing you're out there somewhere with your calm and patient strength helps me rest a little easier. It's good to know my worries about doing this on my own are met with such mature understanding. You are truly a prince among men.
Oh, and the cervical cancer scare I'm going through? I'm sure it's nothing. I can easily take the kids with me for vaginal exams, after-all that's where they came from anyway eh?
I'm reassured knowing that you will put aside the money for next months daycare fees while you're somewhere between here and....well....wherever it is that you're going. And the maintanence people, I'm sure will have no trouble garnishing a check that you won't be getting since you're not here. I can just point to a map of the world when the kids ask where you are.
I hope you're having fun. The important thing, afterall, is that you're having a good time, right? Whew! It must have been a relief to get away from all this responsibility eh?
Sincerely, ****
ps. Although I fully support you going away, (as I've said from the get-go, not that you actually asked or anything), it's your cavalier approach and your absolute disregard for any worries or reservations that I may have had. Not to mention your assholish behaviour, when a simple "thanks a lot " would have sufficed. I guess responding to this email, would really put a cramp on your good times though, so thanks for letting me get this off my chest. I'll just fill you in on what you missed whenever you return.

 

[loveharps]

 

[BowNessMonster]

*dabbing coffee off the monitor*

hehehe, you really sent it? that's great! I commend you on the delivery

 

[L.J.]

To keep within Mothering's rules about swearing......what a total jerk!

I sure hope everything re: the cervical cancer ends up being nothing and easily remedied.

In the end you will triumph and be a better, stronger person because of this and he will continue to miss out on the truly important things in life.

 

[the sunshine]

AAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGHHHHHH I would never date a man who would blow off his kids this way!!!!! I wonder what song and dance he's giving her!

Strength to you, mama.

 

[annarbor931]

Sounds like a real prince. I am so sorry for you and the kids. Sounds like my STBX, actually. Grrrrr.

 

[mamajama]

Quote:

Originally Posted by BowNessMonster *dabbing coffee off the monitor* hehehe, you really sent it? that's great! I commend you on the delivery

Yep, I sent it. It felt good. It felt better than phrasing it all in the negative even though it was all totally icily sarcastic (obviously

). He probably won't even read through it all anyway, but I did it because I had to say something Ya know?
Thanks for your support all y'all

.
LJ, I'm going to the doctor tomorrow. I'm worried but trying to remain calm because some of my symtpoms could be stress related.
The Sunshine, I know what you're saying. She is young and seems very naive. He's a lying S.O.B who happens to be too good-looking which can be a little distracting, I suppose. He's one of those classic "Nothing-Is-My-Fault-The-World-Is-Out-To-Get-Me-Cause-Afterall-It's-All-About-Me" kinda guys. You know the type. I'm sure she's star-struck by him and believes he's in the right because she simply doesn't know any better. She will waste her energy trying to show him that the world is not out to get him because she loves him like he deserves to be loved. Noone else ever has. I know because that's what I thought when I was young, soft-hearted, and stupid like she is now. She's nice enough but seems kinda dense. She'll learn soon enough. I REEEEEEALLY hope she doesn't have to get pregnant in order to learn.
Thanks again, everyone

 

[trinity6232000]

Quote:

Originally Posted by mamajama The Sunshine, I know what you're saying. She is young and seems very naive. He's a lying S.O.B who happens to be too good-looking which can be a little distracting, I suppose. He's one of those classic "Nothing-Is-My-Fault-The-World-Is-Out-To-Get-Me-Cause-Afterall-It's-All-About-Me" kinda guys. You know the type. I'm sure she's star-struck by him and believes he's in the right because she simply doesn't know any better. She will waste her energy trying to show him that the world is not out to get him because she loves him like he deserves to be loved.

I actually feel really bad for the two girls who have dated my ex after
me. He gave them the lines. Girl 1# was sooo sweet and I had actually
hoped he would marry her, cause it was my one hope that somebody
would take care of dd if she had over nights with her Dad. Dd had two
over nights, and both Girl 1# was the caretaker and did a BEAUTIFUL job.
She bought dd books, and read to her before bed and sat with her till
she fell asleep. I know cause dd told me. She said "Daddy was watchin
tv so * read to me and laid with me, she nice Ma". I talked to Girl #1 on
the phone several times and I really liked her.
I don't know anything about Girl #2. But from what I know I don't like
her much. She thought it was funny that dd's name is the same
name as she planned on naming a DOG, and asked my ex "what
are you gonna do when you have lots of money is her mom gonna try and
suck it out or is she cool?". I won't tell you how I got that information.
As much as I think she is young and ignorant for believing him, I feel bad
for her too.
I wonder with Girl #2 if she wonders why ex doesn't visit dd, I am sure
he told her something about me and how I keep him away from her. Well
he is a big boy, doesn't she know he could go to court and change it? If
he was a man wouldn't he do that? I am sure he didn't tell her that he got
tired of being a Dad and just stopped coming around. Or like he said to
his Mom awhile ago "Lots of kids grow up with out Fathers and they do
just fine".

I have just got to a point where I don't feel that dd or I are lacking. I
felt bad about her Dad, but my Dad has taken his place and given dd a
solid male role model. I can't make somebody be a Dad. I am not mad
at ex any longer either. We all make choices. All I can do is the best
with what I got. But I do still feel bad for the girls in his path. He picks
them young for their native ways.

 

[L.J.]

Keep us posted on the appointment. I'm crossing my fingers.

 

[ryleeee]

i'm sorry to laugh, but that was the best thing i've read all day.
i'm glad you sent it. i hope he reads it.
i really hope your tests go alright.

 

[mamajama]

Quote:

Originally Posted by L.J. Keep us posted on the appointment. I'm crossing my fingers.

Thanks LJ, I will. I got AF today so the appointment has to be postponed.

 

[Seasons]

...

 

[Raynbow]

Usually the excuse for abandoning pregnant wife is, "She cheated on me and it may not be mine..." (at least this is apparently my stbx's)
Never mind that wife never cheated, ever, and that he has used above line when speaking about all FIVE of his children - from three different women. Nor has he requested any kind of paternity testing for four of those (and the one he did (ex-gf) came out as his anyway!).
Yet, mistress still pretends that he is Mr. Wonderful. I think he's Mr. Wonderful, too... Mr. Wonderful-that-he's-gone-from-our-lives!

 

[Ruthla]

Look on the bright side- he's not gone "for about a month" "somewhere" WITH the kids!!!

He's also being very kind by not playing with your heartstrings- he's acting like such a/n <insert obscene word here> that you'd never want him back anyway!!

 

[Seasons]

...

 

[mamajama]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ruthla Look on the bright side- he's not gone "for about a month" "somewhere" WITH the kids!!!

Nope, he's not gone with the kids. I simply wouldn't allow that anyway (not that he'd offer).
Actually, it is nice that he's gone far, far away. I actually did pine for him for a while after we split even though he's an abusive a$$hole which drove me bonkers. But not AT all anymore. I even got over him without a rebound fling!!

Ok.......I'm ready for that fling now..............sigh.................

 

[alliegad]

Wincing and chuckling at the same time. Great email to him!! Sorry you have to deal with his complete nonchalance with life and responsibility.

 

[AngelBee]

I hope everything goes well with your appointment.

 

[pranamama]

mamajama, that's a good email. Best wishes with the cervical thing. I had to go thru a colp/cry about 10 yrs ago.

 

[ExuberantDaffodil]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Raynbow Usually the excuse for abandoning pregnant wife is, "She cheated on me and it may not be mine..."

Oh god, isn't this the oldest one in the book? I mean, is that all a cowardly man can come up with?? (I was told that, too)