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Do you know many children like this? These are the children I had in my home daycare:<br><br><br><b>Children who often flat-out ignore adults and other children when spoken to.<br><br>
Children who refuse to follow simple instructions.</b><br><br><b>Children who "play" by hitting, pulling hair, biting, pressing their bodies into the personal space of other children, wrestling, punching, spitting, kicking, screaming.</b><br><br><b>Children who stare off into space as though the world around them is much too boring to take notice.</b><br><br><b>Children who seem unable to communicate "normally" rather they whine loudly to ask for what they want, seeming as though they have already anticipated a bad outcome.</b><br><br><b>Children who, rather than use appropriately, stand on, jump on, roll their faces on and lick furniture (such as sofas, chairs, or coffee tables.)</b><br><br><b>Children who seem panicky and unhappy.</b><br><br><b>Children who can't seem to play nicely with other children, EVER, and are involved in CONSTANT conflicts involving screaming and crying.</b><br><br><b>Children who are old enough to follow basic safety rules, but go out of their way to break them when adult eyes are not looking.</b><br><br><b>Children who scream and SCREECH at the top of their lungs when something doesn't exactly go their way. No compromising. Constant misery.</b><br><br><br><br>
Wow...you get the idea, right? I'm really not exaggerating.<br><br>
These are some of the children who live in my area, ages ranging from 4 to 10. I know at least 6 children who have most or all of these issues (4 separate families.) I provided childcare in my home for a little over a year, and have kept about ten children (at different times.)<br><br>
I worked constantly to provide a calm, comforting atmosphere. We had structure to our days and included story time, music time, artwork/coloring time, outside time, etc. Almost no t.v. I served very healthy lunches and snacks...fruits, veggies, whole grains...lots of clean foods. I had a helper who was very kind to the children and was dedicated and involved.<br><br>
But these children were way beyond my control. I recently had to give up my childcare business because the constant stress was bringing me to the brink of insanity. Even with the helper, and my husband's help when he came home for lunch every day, the children were unruly and out of control. It was constant chaos. The parents were at a loss as to what to do and expressed concern that these behaviors happened at home as well. (They also seemed to believe that this was just typical child behavior and nothing could be done about it.)<br><br>
Many of these children attended my church and behaved exactly the same way there. When I quit the childcare, we also stopped attending church because of these same issues.<br><br>
My own daughter, Emma, is recovering from what I believe to be mild vaccine damage, and struggled with many of these behavioral and sensory issues as a younger toddler. She is much better now, and at age 5 1/2, was having a hard time spending time with these children because the days were full of constant battles. She's become quite a considerate and good-natured playmate and these children were simply not.<br><br>
What would you make of all of this? Do you get the impression that a lot of this type of behavior is normal and may have just seemed magnified since I dealt with it on a daily basis?<br><br>
Do you notice many children around you behaving this way? BTW, none of these children have been diagnosed with anything, with the exception of one child (ADHD; medicated.)<br><br><br>
My experiences make me feel as though autism and ADHD is actually under-diagnosed rather than over as many people suggest these days.
 

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I don't have any answers but have definitely been there done that during my years teaching preschool. The characteristics you listed perfectly describe at least 4 of the children I have had the pleasure to work with. I described my experience with one of them like this... I felt like Frodo in Lord of the Rings. Getting this child to the end of the year was like him getting the ring to Mordor. Every day was a dreaded battle. I feel you. It is awful because all of your time and energy is taken up by these kids and the others just sort of make do on the side lines. Oh, I feel awful just thinking about it.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>emma1325</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/13337900"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Do you know many children like this? These are the children I had in my home daycare:<br><br><br><b>Children who often flat-out ignore adults and other children when spoken to.<br><br>
Children who refuse to follow simple instructions.</b><br><br><b>Children who "play" by hitting, pulling hair, biting, pressing their bodies into the personal space of other children, wrestling, punching, spitting, kicking, screaming.</b><br><br><b>Children who stare off into space as though the world around them is much too boring to take notice.</b><br><br><b>Children who seem unable to communicate "normally" rather they whine loudly to ask for what they want, seeming as though they have already anticipated a bad outcome.</b><br><br><b>Children who, rather than use appropriately, stand on, jump on, roll their faces on and lick furniture (such as sofas, chairs, or coffee tables.)</b><br><br><b>Children who seem panicky and unhappy.</b><br><br><b>Children who can't seem to play nicely with other children, EVER, and are involved in CONSTANT conflicts involving screaming and crying.</b><br><br><b>Children who are old enough to follow basic safety rules, but go out of their way to break them when adult eyes are not looking.</b><br><br><b>Children who scream and SCREECH at the top of their lungs when something doesn't exactly go their way. No compromising. Constant misery.</b><br><br><br><br>
Wow...you get the idea, right? I'm really not exaggerating.<br><br>
These are some of the children who live in my area, ages ranging from 4 to 10. I know at least 6 children who have most or all of these issues (4 separate families.) I provided childcare in my home for a little over a year, and have kept about ten children (at different times.)<br><br>
I worked constantly to provide a calm, comforting atmosphere. We had structure to our days and included story time, music time, artwork/coloring time, outside time, etc. Almost no t.v. I served very healthy lunches and snacks...fruits, veggies, whole grains...lots of clean foods. I had a helper who was very kind to the children and was dedicated and involved.<br><br>
But these children were way beyond my control. I recently had to give up my childcare business because the constant stress was bringing me to the brink of insanity. Even with the helper, and my husband's help when he came home for lunch every day, the children were unruly and out of control. It was constant chaos. The parents were at a loss as to what to do and expressed concern that these behaviors happened at home as well. (They also seemed to believe that this was just typical child behavior and nothing could be done about it.)<br><br>
Many of these children attended my church and behaved exactly the same way there. When I quit the childcare, we also stopped attending church because of these same issues.<br><br>
My own daughter, Emma, is recovering from what I believe to be mild vaccine damage, and struggled with many of these behavioral and sensory issues as a younger toddler. She is much better now, and at age 5 1/2, was having a hard time spending time with these children because the days were full of constant battles. She's become quite a considerate and good-natured playmate and these children were simply not.<br><br>
What would you make of all of this? Do you get the impression that a lot of this type of behavior is normal and may have just seemed magnified since I dealt with it on a daily basis?<br><br>
Do you notice many children around you behaving this way? BTW, none of these children have been diagnosed with anything, with the exception of one child (ADHD; medicated.)<br><br><br>
My experiences make me feel as though autism and ADHD is actually under-diagnosed rather than over as many people suggest these days.</div>
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What is ND'ed?<br><br>
I think that those behaviors re pretty typical for children.
 

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I think it is a lack of parenting! Not yours of course because if the damage is done at home and then reinforced you aren't going to be able to fix it! And if we accept that as normal behavior then we are reinforcing it and it's going to continue. It's not to say that these behaviors aren't something that occur some of the time, but they can be re routed ! I have never had any big problems with this with either of my children and personally children that act that way just simply aren't allowed around my children or me. I think it is disrespectful and I notice more often then not that it's the parents philosopy or lack their of that is the problem. I don't think that anything is under diagnosed, people just need to start parenting a little more attentively. Sorry if this is harsh but I think it's true.<br><br>
With your own daughter although she might have reacted to a vaccine, did you do anything different with parenting to get her to come around? I would look at that and realize that your children are you responsibility and you can't change others you can only lead by example!<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/treehugger.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Treehugger">:
 

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Honestly, DS1 has some of the issues on your list when he has screen time and if I'm being lazy in my parenting.<br><br>
I'd be willing to bet that for most of those children it's their home life. Modern life has become so stressful on parents, and that of course translates to their (our) children as well.<br>
Not saying that your daycare parents are terrible, not at all! But how a child is parented, and what they do in their home time can affect their behavior a lot.<br>
Of course there's the possible vax damage, food/chemical sensitivities and allergies, environmental allergies, neural issues, etc etc. to consider too.<br><br>
Not normal, but somewhat typical these days I'd say.
 

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If ds1 eats ANY kind of refined sugar, he acts just like that. Totally out of control and aggressive. He is not like that normally, he is extremely gentle and wants to be sweet and kind. He is an easy little angel, unless he eats something even as seemingly harmless like whole grain bread. I don't know if it's normal, (the kids you worked with) we don't play with many kids who act like that.
 

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Discussion Starter #7
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>tinyblackdot</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/13338259"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">What is ND'ed?<br><br>
I think that those behaviors re pretty typical for children.</div>
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neurologically damaged.<br><br>
And I'm not at a point in which I can agree with you on it being typical behavior. It may be typical when some of the things happen some of the time, but when nearly ALL of the things happen ALL of the time, something's not right.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>emma1325</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/13339274"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">neurologically damaged.<br><br>
And I'm not at a point in which I can agree with you on it being typical behavior. It may be typical when some of the things happen some of the time, but when nearly ALL of the things happen ALL of the time, something's not right.</div>
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Oh, thanks!<br><br>
I agree that things are not right.
 

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Discussion Starter #9
[<br>
With your own daughter although she might have reacted to a vaccine, did you do anything different with parenting to get her to come around? I would look at that and realize that your children are you responsibility and you can't change others you can only lead by example!<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/treehugger.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Treehugger">:[/QUOTE]<br><br><br>
It seems that she's been outgrowing it for some time now. Her outbursts and aggression, which used to be common, is very rare now. I really haven't changed parenting methods...she just seems to have mellowed out as she's grown.
 

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Wow, you just described my SFIL's nephew exactly...<br><br><div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>luvmybabygirls</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/13339072"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I think it is a lack of parenting! Not yours of course because if the damage is done at home and then reinforced you aren't going to be able to fix it!</div>
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I've observed his parents in action and, in his case, I'd have to agree... His mom has said it's a food allergy and undiagnosed ADHD, but they also let him run wild.<br><br><div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>AutumnMama</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/13339196"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Honestly, DS1 has some of the issues on your list when he has screen time and if I'm being lazy in my parenting.<br><br>
I'd be willing to bet that for most of those children it's their home life. Modern life has become so stressful on parents, and that of course translates to their (our) children as well.<br>
Not saying that your daycare parents are terrible, not at all! But how a child is parented, and what they do in their home time can affect their behavior a lot.<br>
Of course there's the possible vax damage, food/chemical sensitivities and allergies, environmental allergies, neural issues, etc etc. to consider too.<br><br>
Not normal, but somewhat typical these days I'd say.</div>
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With the little boy I know he's ADDICTED to TV and video games. If he's playing is DS it's with the TV on cartoons. When he gets tired of that it's time to play Wii... I've never seen him pick up a book or anything like that. (He's around 3) I disagree with his mom that he's ADHD or ADD because he is able to sit and focus on his video games and TV shows just fine. But if you try to break that concentration he'll ignore you until you touch him or get close to him physically and then he'll get violent.
 

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As I see it:<br><br><br><b>Children who often flat-out ignore adults and other children when spoken to.</b><br>
Within the range of normal. Even my totally laid-back, eager to please, neurotypical son will often appear to be flat-out ignoring people. He's really imaginative and often in his own world, thinking. He is more on the "less attentive" side of normal, but definitely would not meet criteria to be diagnosed with any sort of cognitive or emotional disorder. My 5 year old is very, very shy and will often appear to be flat-out ignoring people-we're working on helping her develop skills and learn to cope with being shy in more socially acceptable ways, but it takes time (and most people don't see the work we do or know she's shy, and might think we're just letting her be rude).<br><br><b>Children who refuse to follow simple instructions.</b><br>
Again, I would typically see that as being within the range of normal. Some kids are less inclined to follow instructions than others (very strong-willed kids or very inflexible kids), and the younger the child the more normal this would seem to me. I think whether or not it's considered normal depends not only on frequency, but on age and severity of impact on the child's and family's functioning.<br><br><br><b>Children who "play" by hitting, pulling hair, biting, pressing their bodies into the personal space of other children, wrestling, punching, spitting, kicking, screaming.</b><br>
This, well, I think it can be within the realm of "typical." Kids can pick up a lot of aggressive play through media. Also, children (particularly preschoolers and toddlers) who have not yet mastered good social skills may do this. And some kids can be temperamentally sensory-seeking, leading to these kinds of behavior, without having a disorder.<br><br><b>Children who stare off into space as though the world around them is much too boring to take notice.</b><br>
I would be inclined to assume the child is imaginative or thinking. Or simply tired and "zoning out." Many kids don't get enough sleep (which can, incidentally, lead to behavior problems).<br><br><b>Children who seem unable to communicate "normally" rather they whine loudly to ask for what they want, seeming as though they have already anticipated a bad outcome.</b><br>
Again, ime this is pretty normal/typical. Haven't met a parent yet who didn't complain about how much one of their kids whines. My son is not a whiner. My daughters are. They're raised the same, in the same household, so I attribute it to temperament. And it persists, despite diligent, involved parenting. IMO, kids just whine and some whine more than others.<br><br><b>Children who, rather than use appropriately, stand on, jump on, roll their faces on and lick furniture (such as sofas, chairs, or coffee tables.)</b><br>
I see this as normal/typical too, especially when kids aren't getting enough outside time, or if they are temperamentally very energetic and/or sensory seeking. And really, I remember it being so fun to play on furniture. Especially playing hot lava, where the floor was lava so we had to walk on furniture only. Mom probably didn't like it so much.<br><br><b>Children who seem panicky and unhappy.</b><br>
Well, this is kind of subjective, isn't it? If you have a pretty mellow kid, kids who are more sensitive, emotional, and easily upset may look panicky and unhappy. Some of these kids may really be panicky and unhappy a lot of the time, but some of them may just be emotionally intense kids.<br><br><b>Children who can't seem to play nicely with other children, EVER, and are involved in CONSTANT conflicts involving screaming and crying.</b><br>
Again, this could be indicative of problems, or could be an indicator that the child has not yet mastered the needed social skills. Each child develops at a different rate, and for some kids these skills come easily and for some they don't.<br><br><b>Children who are old enough to follow basic safety rules, but go out of their way to break them when adult eyes are not looking.</b><br>
Many children like to experiment, and like to assert their autonomy. I wouldn't consider this abnormal by itself, probably-though in combination with other problems, it could indicate .<br><br><b>Children who scream and SCREECH at the top of their lungs when something doesn't exactly go their way. No compromising. Constant misery.</b><br>
Again, it could indicate a problem (neurological, otherwise physical, or familial) or it could indicate that a child is simply temperamentally intense.<br><br><br><div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>emma1325</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/13337900"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">My own daughter, Emma, is recovering from what I believe to be mild vaccine damage, and struggled with many of these behavioral and sensory issues as a younger toddler. She is much better now, and at age 5 1/2, was having a hard time spending time with these children because the days were full of constant battles. She's become quite a considerate and good-natured playmate and these children were simply not.</div>
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And I think those behaviors are totally normal for a toddler, and that it's just as likely that your daughter was not damaged by vaccines and simply grew out of normal toddler behavior as she matured.<br><br>
My point is, there are a lot of reasons why children might engage in behavior like this. And even if I might agree that it might not be normal if <i>all</i> the things you listed happen <i>most</i> of the time, there could be many reasons for it. And for each child (or family), the reason or reasons might be different. And none of us can know those reasons, because we're not living with those families.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>AFWife</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/13339408"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Wow, you just described my SFIL's nephew exactly...<br><br><br><br>
I've observed his parents in action and, in his case, I'd have to agree... His mom has said it's a food allergy and undiagnosed ADHD, but they also let him run wild.<br><br><br><br>
With the little boy I know he's ADDICTED to TV and video games. If he's playing is DS it's with the TV on cartoons. When he gets tired of that it's time to play Wii... I've never seen him pick up a book or anything like that. (He's around 3) I disagree with his mom that he's ADHD or ADD because he is able to sit and focus on his video games and TV shows just fine. But if you try to break that concentration he'll ignore you until you touch him or get close to him physically and then he'll get violent.</div>
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<br>
Children with ADHD can become hyper focused on things that they care about and also they can become very attached to video games because the are a controlled activity that always have the same results and this is very comforting to children who feel so out of control in their own bodies.
 

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My son is nearly six and is Neurotypical so I was curious to see how he measures up to these:<br><br>
Children who often flat-out ignore adults and other children when spoken to.<br><br><span style="color:#FF0000;">He's done this fairly often, because he's day-dreaming.</span><br><br><br>
Children who refuse to follow simple instructions.<br><br><span style="color:#FF0000;">He does this occasionally, often because he's daydreaming.</span><br><br><br>
Children who "play" by hitting, pulling hair, biting, pressing their bodies into the personal space of other children, wrestling, punching, spitting, kicking, screaming.<br><br><span style="color:#FF0000;">He's never done this.</span><br><br><br>
Children who stare off into space as though the world around them is much too boring to take notice.<br><br><span style="color:#FF0000;">He does stare into space sometimes but not necessarily because he's bored by the world around him. <i>I</i> often stare off into space when I'm relaxed or thinking. Or daydreaming.</span><br><br><br>
Children who seem unable to communicate "normally" rather they whine loudly to ask for what they want, seeming as though they have already anticipated a bad outcome.<br><br><span style="color:#FF0000;">He does this sometimes. He went through quite the whining phase when he was three.</span><br><br><br><br>
Children who, rather than use appropriately, stand on, jump on, roll their faces on and lick furniture (such as sofas, chairs, or coffee tables.)<br><br><span style="color:#FF0000;">Come on! Show me the child who doesn't do this from time to time! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngbiggrin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="orange big grin"></span><br><br><br>
Children who seem panicky and unhappy.<br><br><span style="color:#FF0000;">Sometimes he is panicky and unhappy. Usually when he's panicky or unhappy.</span><br><br>
Children who can't seem to play nicely with other children, EVER, and are involved in CONSTANT conflicts involving screaming and crying.<br><br><span style="color:#FF0000;">He usually plays nicely with other children and certainly it's improved with age.</span><br><br><br>
Children who are old enough to follow basic safety rules, but go out of their way to break them when adult eyes are not looking.<br><br><span style="color:#FF0000;">I've never seen this in him. I've seen it in lots of heroes of classic children's literature though.</span><br><br>
Children who scream and SCREECH at the top of their lungs when something doesn't exactly go their way. No compromising. Constant misery.<br><br><span style="color:#FF0000;">No, that's not him. I mean it's happened, but "constant"? No.<br></span><br><br>
It seems as if these behaviours are signs of something off if they are <i>frequent</i>--if <i>occasional</i> they sound like normal child behaviour.<br><br>
The list <i>does</i> remind me of my best friend's very intelligent son, but he only shows these behaviours around her, not with his babysitters or teachers. Poor you, having to deal with them all the time! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad">
 

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Children who scream and SCREECH at the top of their lungs when something doesn't exactly go their way. No compromising. Constant misery.<br><br><br>
Hmmm...my DS does this a lot, but he is a very intense kid. he doesn't do a lot of the other things on your list, though. Maybe you had an unlucky streak and got four very intense kids in your daycare at once, or maybe there really is something else going on. Hard to tell. Good luck figuring it out!
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>labdogs42</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/13340427"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Children who scream and SCREECH at the top of their lungs when something doesn't exactly go their way. No compromising. Constant misery.<br><br><br>
Hmmm...my DS does this a lot, but he is a very intense kid. he doesn't do a lot of the other things on your list, though. Maybe you had an unlucky streak and got four very intense kids in your daycare at once, or maybe there really is something else going on. Hard to tell. Good luck figuring it out!</div>
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I'm done trying to figure it out, lol. This post was kind of a final vent for me. Dealing with these kinds of issues constantly really took a lot out of me. I shouldn't have let it go on for as long as I did, but I really thought that with persistence and consistency the situation would improve. It didn't. At all.<br><br>
But I'm done and that's that. I feel awful for the parents who have to deal with those kids on a daily basis, and for the whichever daycare or school they will end up at next.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>emma1325</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/13341377"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I feel awful for the parents who have to deal with those kids on a daily basis, and for the whichever daycare or school they will end up at next.</div>
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I am sorry you had a hard time. I know it's tough to deal with a lot of those behaviors, particularly if you aren't prepared to handle them and don't know how to respond most effectively for each child. What saddens me is when people say things like you said in this quote, about kids who are genuinely struggling. Whatever the reasons for their behavior may be, those kids would, I guarantee you, prefer to be getting along better with their families and with the other people in their lives who provide care for them. How bad must it feel to not get along with anyone? To have caregivers feeling so frustrated with you so often, and to have caregivers feeling negative toward you? (And yes, I know there were negative feelings, b/c I am the parent of a very challenging child like this whom I love more than life (who is neurologically different, but not damaged), and I sometimes have trouble feeling positive toward her. I know it would be much harder to feel positive toward a child with these issues who is not my own.) These kids need support and loving guidance, not disdain. The parents need your support, not your pity. I don't need people to feel awful for me because my kid is so challenging (I would find that insulting), I need their understanding (that it is hard, that I'm doing the best I can, that I do worry, that my kid is not a bad kid but a kid who faces a number of challenges and does her best) and their support and encouragement. Compassion is a wonderful thing, for both parents and kids.
 

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I have to say that I exhibited many of those traits when I was a child, I believe not because I was nd'ed but because I was angry I did not have consistent caregiving from my parents for most of my childhood. I was in daycare from the time I was 1 year old to 13 and I was a very angry child. If parent who have their kids in daycare all week do not really step up during the off hours, a child can really feel abandoned and uncared for (no matter how good the dcp is). Some people underestimate how much a child REALLY needs to attach to someone and needs to be given a sense of worth. Just my <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies//2cents.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="2 cents">:. My experience is one of the reasons I am dedicated to ap and have chosen to be a SAHM.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Murihiku</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/13340251"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
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The list <i>does</i> remind me of my best friend's very intelligent son, but he only shows these behaviours around her, not with his babysitters or teachers. Poor you, having to deal with them all the time! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"></div>
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my daughter does these things at home, but apparently she's extremely well behaved with her teachers <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/eyesroll.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="roll">
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Magella</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/13343648"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">The parents need your support, not your pity. I don't need people to feel awful for me because my kid is so challenging (I would find that insulting), I need their understanding (that it is hard, that I'm doing the best I can, that I do worry, that my kid is not a bad kid but a kid who faces a number of challenges and does her best) and their support and encouragement. Compassion is a wonderful thing, for both parents and kids.</div>
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Feeling awful is not the same as having pity. I'm sorry you feel insulted by my feelings; however, they are my feelings and I do not feel the need to defend them.
 

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when I first read your post I thought "yeah I've seen those kids, we call them brats in the midwest"<br><br>
I understand that these children may have undiagnosed problems, but many more of these children are under stimulated (play, education, human contact) or have poor parenting.<br><br>
I feel like we are putting labels of 'ND' AD(H)D, high function autism on children that aren't. I work in a video game store and see many many many pre-teens kill about 3 sodas and 2 candy bars in an hour and when I peel them off the walls and tell them to ease up off the sugar because I can't peel people from the ceiling, they tell me "Its not the sugar I have ADHD" <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/eyesroll.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="roll"> sugar doesn't help sweetie. KWIM?<br><br>
I'm all for identifying social or developmental hurdles in children, but sometimes there isn't a problem, or the problem lies with the parents, friends, community, media whatever. Most of these kids need a mentor and a healthy environment, not a vax or heavy metal to point a finger at.<br><br>
I'm probably totally out of line, and if I am (gently <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/redface.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Embarrassment">) put me back. I really am here to learn! I've lived on a farm my entire life, we don't have time to stare off into space, and no one gives a rats behind if you screech, we just put you outside to screech, and if you lick the furniture, you'll get a splinter in your tongue and no one will stop you.
 
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