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I've been subjected to my family's fertility history because they felt the need to tell me that "Oh, I got pregnant just thinking about it....you'll be pregnant your first cycle!" Yeah, well, not so much. My Mom did not have any problems at all getting pg. She had a MC before me and before my sister (2nd born) and my brother was an oops (last born). All conceived on the first try. She had the nerve to tell my hubby (they work together) that "you're not doing it right!" That kinda hurt. We're not doing anything wrong and how do you "not do it right" anyway?! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> Makes me feel a little less than confident about my body. I know she didn't mean it that way but I get tired of people asking me every week if I'm "knocked up yet". I hate saying no.
 

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I never talked to anyone about it...didn't think I needed to, as none of them had ANY difficulty getting pg or staying pg. I did...beginning at the ripe young age of 18!! Took us 1.5 years and 2 losses despite being perfectly healthy and young.<br><br>
My MIL is the only one I've REALLY discussed things with, only because she's experienced losses as well so she's really the only one who understands.
 

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Well, I know that my maternal great-great grandmother and great grandmother had <b>11 children each</b>. I know some of them didn't survive infancy or even childhood, but this was the late 1800s/early 1900s when infant mortality was pretty high anyhow & everyone was having lots and lots of children. Not sure whether there were any miscarriages, but it wouldn't surprise me since people weren't very knowledgeable about the whole process back then.<br><br>
My maternal grandmother had several miscarriages in her 20s & 30s before she had her 4 children in her late 30s/early 40s (and had miscarriages in between her living children as well). Her blood was RH Negative, though, so that made her very susceptable to miscarriage.<br><br>
My mother was married & divorced 3 times. Her first husband was sterile, as she later found out. She and her second husband were only married a few months b/c HE was a baby. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> She had a couple of boyfriends somewhere in between, but had an IUD as birth control. She married my father when she was 37, and got pregnant with me almost straight away. I was born when she was 38, and there were no problems or complications in the pregnancy OR the birth.<br><br>
My mom's older sister got pregnant "accidentally" in her Senior year of college. She married the father, and they had another child a couple years later, but I'm not sure if he was "planned" or not. My aunt's not the kind of person you can talk to about these kinds of things - she's rather old fashioned and thinks certain things shouldn't be discussed.<br><br>
So I always figured it would be easy for me because it was for my mom and my aunt. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/shrug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="shrug"> Perhaps, not, though. I never considered much about my grandmother b/c I figure all her miscarriages were due to the RH factor. I don't have any siblings or (living) female cousins, so I have nothing to compare there either.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>1babysmom</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/9855248"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I never talked to anyone about it...didn't think I needed to, as none of them had ANY difficulty getting pg or staying pg. I did...beginning at the ripe young age of 18!! Took us 1.5 years and 2 losses despite being perfectly healthy and young.<br><br>
My MIL is the only one I've REALLY discussed things with, only because she's experienced losses as well so she's really the only one who understands.</div>
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That's so funny. We don't talk to DH's parents at all! We mentioned about 6 months ago that we would be trying to start our family beginning in Sept and my MIL freaked out that we even told her that! His family is NOT open to talking about that stuff no matter how casual or how vague it may be. DH's parents never talked to him about sex at all and never told him that he could talk to them if he wanted. It's been quite an educating experience for him over the last few months because my family is VERY open and I tell him everything. He's beginning to ask questions finally. I think he's becoming more comfortable with the idea of talking about reproduction even if it's just with me. It's a step. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 

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I totally don't discuss fertility or ttc with my family because none of them could possibly understand my pain. My eldest sister has two "oops" children from differnt fathers and an array of other OOW conceptions that ended in abortion (one she tried to abort, ended up a still birth, she had fibroids so the doctors couldn't touch her). My older sister (by 3 years) had her first baby at age 16 and every pregnancy was an "oops" for her. I think only two of her children were conceived when she was married the first time and her second marriage she had her only daughter a couple of years before she married the father. In total she has 6 children, no abortions. My younger sister has three children ages 5,4, and 19 months. She had no issues getting pregnant at all. I am one of 6 children. I'm number 4 of the children and the third girl. So nobody in my family knows what it is like to actually try to get pregnant except maybe my mother who had a couple of still births and miscarriages. Other than that there is no trying with my sisters, they just get pregnant. So here I am going on my 17th month ttc and nothing. I'm so frustrated I could just scream! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/splat.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="splat"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/banghead.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="banghead"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/Cuss.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="cuss"> I've pretty much given up on ttc now. I don't think that it will happen. My DH has sperm issues and we're waiting for the zinc/copper to possibly help him with his count and motility. So I have no one to talk to except the ladies on the 12+ month thread. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/gloomy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Gloomy">:
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>kJad29</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/9855470"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I totally don't discuss fertility or ttc with my family because none of them could possibly understand my pain. My eldest sister has two "oops" children from differnt fathers and an array of other OOW conceptions that ended in abortion (one she tried to abort, ended up a still birth, she had fibroids so the doctors couldn't touch her). My older sister (by 3 years) had her first baby at age 16 and every pregnancy was an "oops" for her. I think only two of her children were conceived when she was married the first time and her second marriage she had her only daughter a couple of years before she married the father. In total she has 6 children, no abortions. My younger sister has three children ages 5,4, and 19 months. She had no issues getting pregnant at all. I am one of 6 children. I'm number 4 of the children and the third girl. So nobody in my family knows what it is like to actually try to get pregnant except maybe my mother who had a couple of still births and miscarriages. Other than that there is no trying with my sisters, they just get pregnant. So here I am going on my 17th month ttc and nothing. I'm so frustrated I could just scream! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/splat.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="splat"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/banghead.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="banghead"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/Cuss.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="cuss"> I've pretty much given up on ttc now. I don't think that it will happen. My DH has sperm issues and we're waiting for the zinc/copper to possibly help him with his count and motility. So I have no one to talk to except the ladies on the 12+ month thread. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/gloomy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Gloomy">:</div>
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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">s<br><br>
You do have us to talk to though. I know a lot of us aren't in your shoes as far as difficulties yet but at least we understand "trying". I'll add you to my prayer list.
 

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I actually had a long discussion about this with my aunt over Thanksgiving. (She went with me to my RE appt) Anyway, she had to adopt d/t infertility and one of her cousins had to as well. So of the 5 girls in her immediate family, 2 were infertile. My mom had 1 m/c between my sis and me. My sis had lots of probs getting pg and ended up at an RE for IUI and meds. Now has 3 girls. And then my cousin went to an RE and struggled with infertility and finally had 2 boys. So it's pretty common in my family. We talk about pretty much everything in my family and we all know everyone's business. It's actually nice to be able to talk to my family when I'm having a stressful day trying to get a diagnosis or just plain down in the dumps about it all.<br><br>
On the other hand my mother-in-law is clueless. She knows I have had to have some "tests" to find out what is wrong with my uterus, but I try to keep the info at a minimum. Unfortunately they knew I was pg and m/c, otherwise I wouldn't have told her a thing! She mostly thinks I suck, so she doesn't need any more ammo. She thinks her son is perfect! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/dizzy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Dizzy">:
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>kJad29</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/9855470"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I totally don't discuss fertility or ttc with my family because none of them could possibly understand my pain. My eldest sister has two "oops" children from differnt fathers and an array of other OOW conceptions that ended in abortion (one she tried to abort, ended up a still birth, she had fibroids so the doctors couldn't touch her). My older sister (by 3 years) had her first baby at age 16 and every pregnancy was an "oops" for her. I think only two of her children were conceived when she was married the first time and her second marriage she had her only daughter a couple of years before she married the father. In total she has 6 children, no abortions. My younger sister has three children ages 5,4, and 19 months. She had no issues getting pregnant at all. I am one of 6 children. I'm number 4 of the children and the third girl. So nobody in my family knows what it is like to actually try to get pregnant except maybe my mother who had a couple of still births and miscarriages. Other than that there is no trying with my sisters, they just get pregnant. So here I am going on my 17th month ttc and nothing. I'm so frustrated I could just scream! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/splat.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="splat"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/banghead.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="banghead"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/Cuss.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="cuss"> I've pretty much given up on ttc now. I don't think that it will happen. My DH has sperm issues and we're waiting for the zinc/copper to possibly help him with his count and motility. So I have no one to talk to except the ladies on the 12+ month thread. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/gloomy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Gloomy">:</div>
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I'm sorry you're dealing with this! My IL's are actually WAY more open than my own family, so we tend to talk about stuff with them more often than mine, but I also have no siblings of childbearing age. My SIL's though...well, oldest SIL has been pregnant twice by surprise, and has NO idea. She actually had the nerve to tell me how much I'm going to LOVE an epidural when I came home from the ER while miscarrying and answered someones question about the physical pain I was in. One of my other SIL's (there are 4) got pregnant by accident last year with her fiancee who left her when he found out. But just another example of it was "that" easy.<br><br>
And like I said, it took us 1.5 years for DD and another 18 months for this one (of course other things came into play this time around though). So we're here for you!! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">
 

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In our family, fertility is just something that's talked about like anything else, like who had cancer or where that stick straight hair comes from. To get a good history, you'll want to know not only your mother's family history but your father's family history, too. Ditto for your partner.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>baby_baby_mommy</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/9855884"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">In our family, fertility is just something that's talked about like anything else, like who had cancer or where that stick straight hair comes from.</div>
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This is my family too.<br><br>
My mom: 12 kids. Finally had to divorce my bio-dad to quit getting pregnant. No joke--really. Between us all, there are uh...way to many grandkids to count. Let's see: #1 has 3 kids, #2 has 4, #3 passed away at 18, #4 (me) have 3 live births, 2 with me now, #5 no kids, #6 has 7, #7 is pregnant right now but has had multiple abortions, #8 has 2 oops, #9 has 3 oops, #10 has 4, #11 has 1 with one on the way, #12 isn't married yet. That's like...29? Mom miscarried the first pregnancy but never had any other m/c. She had one set of fraternal twins (#5 & #6) and never had an ounce of trouble during any pregnancy. Her mom had 2 babies born still and two pregnancies. Before that, we don't know.<br><br>
My hubby is from a family of 8. His mom never had any miscarriages, nor did his grandmother. All of them were planned and well loved. (I married into a phenomenal family!)<br><br>
Seriously, I come from a family of people that just has to think, "Oh wouldn't that be nice?" and they get pregnant. Over Thanksgiving, our inability to get pregnant at whim was quite the talk. Fortunately, we can all laugh about it (mostly) and I think that helps quite a bit.
 

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Thanks for the hugs. I was really coming from a place of anger when I wrote that. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/duck.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Duck">: I needed some time with my DH to help me feel better. I guess things are just going to be the way they are for now. It can't be forever. I wish there really was something the matter with me, but there isn't. I'm as healthy as can be. I ovulate every month, have a decent LP. Heck I even go to a Chinese doctor for acupuncture and herbs and he tells me I couldn't be healthier. My DH has had some anxiety and stress issues and that totally zaps sperm production. Our TCM doctor says that it's nothing to worry about and as long as DH takes the zinc/copper things should improve. I hope so. Anyways, thanks for everything. I'll try to keep things in perspective. It's hard when you're knocking on a year and a half of ttc and you thought by now you'd have your baby in your arms. Things will get better, I hope.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>kJad29</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/9857034"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Thanks for the hugs. I was really coming from a place of anger when I wrote that. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/duck.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Duck">: I needed some time with my DH to help me feel better. I guess things are just going to be the way they are for now. It can't be forever. I wish there really was something the matter with me, but there isn't. I'm as healthy as can be. I ovulate every month, have a decent LP. Heck I even go to a Chinese doctor for acupuncture and herbs and he tells me I couldn't be healthier. My DH has had some anxiety and stress issues and that totally zaps sperm production. Our TCM doctor says that it's nothing to worry about and as long as DH takes the zinc/copper things should improve. I hope so. Anyways, thanks for everything. I'll try to keep things in perspective. It's hard when you're knocking on a year and a half of ttc and you thought by now you'd have your baby in your arms. Things will get better, I hope.</div>
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Hi There<br><br>
Kemi, for it's worth I am going through the same thing - DH has low motility etc. I am healthy. It's hard. We found a great ND who specializes in this exact thing and have, in addition to DH seeing a TCM practitioner for herbs and acupuncture, totally overhauled his diet, done some things to reduce stress, lifestyle changes, etc....basically my understanding is that there is a LOT of evidence and reason to be hopeful. Sperm - especially motility - can really be affected in non-invasive ways.<br><br>
We'll be doing a re-test SA in a couple months and our doc is really encouraging that the numbers will be better.<br><br>
You probably know this already but I hope I can offer a bit of hope to you - it is hard...really hard....but I have moments of hope now. Hope you can too.<br><br>
Diana
 

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Hi Kemi!<br><br>
I am sorry to hear you are so frustrated. I am, too! Anyway, we are going to try IUI for 2 cycles and see what happens. Did your DH have an SA? What were the results?<br><br>
How is Maine? It is snowing here right now. I really need to send you a PM soon.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Sri Radha</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/9862673"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Hi Kemi!<br><br>
I am sorry to hear you are so frustrated. I am, too! Anyway, we are going to try IUI for 2 cycles and see what happens. Did your DH have an SA? What were the results?<br><br>
How is Maine? It is snowing here right now. I really need to send you a PM soon.</div>
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Hi Radha!<br><br>
Well DH and I did the Fertell at home test as a diagnostic before going for an SA. Mine turned out well and DH's didn't turn out so good. We <span><i>barely</i></span> got a line. DH has started taking zinc/copper for motility and count. In about 2 more months or a little bit more we're going to go and redo the Fertell test and then if that isn't right, he's going to get an SA. Then we'll see what to do from there. We're trying to give things a chance to resolve naturally before taking anymore steps. Please PM me on what goes on with an IUI. Did your DH get an SA?<br><br>
Both DH and I absolutely love Maine! It's great! I really enjoy being close to the beach and we had a dusting of snow a couple of weeks ago, though we haven't had any lately. I hope we get some soon. I would like to have a snowy holiday season!<br><br>
Disclaimer: Sorry that we're having a kind of private conversation ladies. Now let's get back to the subject at hand....
 

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Yeah. My mom has "super" fertility... She gotten pregnant everytime she has DTD around O time with no protection. I find this amazing. My sister had a miscarriage a year ago but again, it was the first time she actually tried to have a baby. Everybody in my mom's and my dad's families have huge families.<br><br>
I hope this is a good sign for my own fertility. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/redface.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Embarrassment"> Especially since my mom and I have the same cycle length and O on the same day. She doesn't know we have officially TTC yet. I probably won't tell her until I am 12 weeks along in a pregnancy. (well, maybe...). I don't want her to treat me like a failure for not conceiving right away. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad">
 
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