Mothering Forum banner

1 - 20 of 21 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
381 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I never really thought about it, but my (beautiful, wonderful, earthy, fabulous) midwife encouraged me to fib about my due date when people ask. So, due May 20th, she says tell people first week of June. Anyone with previous babies have this experience? I thought it was a great idea to avoid the whole "Is it here yet" phonecalls every 15 minutes.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,796 Posts
LOL - that's a good idea!<br><br>
off topic:<br><br>
I think it's funny that you are going into nursing but are choosing a MW. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/winky.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Wink"><br><br>
My best friend is a nurse - she is a trauma nurse - and she is by far the calmest person I know. LOL. We were on our way to a wedding once and she took a sip of her coffee and the lid was loose and it spilled ALL OVER her and she calmly said "whoopsie" - I laughed so hard I almost peed my pants - I would have screamed and cursed my head off. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/blush.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="blush">
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,540 Posts
I learned the hard way ~ DS was 12 days "late" and I finally just left a "no, the baby's not here yet" message on my answering machine. Now I just say, "Late May".
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
484 Posts
With DS # 1 I was working and starting at 36 weeks all I heard was "When is that baby coming? What is your due date again?" From all the same people in the break room and bathroom. My immediate co-workers were a little more sensitive.<br>
Now that I am not working - I am not too worried about being asked that constantly! My due date is May 14th but I am telling people LATE MAY. In particular, my FIL who is really, really obsessed with time and has been known to ask SIL (who has 3 children) - "But, when exactly are they supposed to be here!" Like there is a schedule of some sort and they may get off schedule due to weather or something! LOL.<br>
I have known women who were overdue, very uncomfortable and felt like crying whenever somebody commented on due date or something. Your MW has a good idea, especially if you think you might feel this way!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,301 Posts
I always just say what it is especially now bc with dd my water broke unexpectedly<br>
2 weeks early and with ds I was induced a week early so everyone already knew.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
381 Posts
Discussion Starter · #7 ·
<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>luckylady</strong></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">off topic:<br><br>
I think it's funny that you are going into nursing but are choosing a MW. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/winky.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Wink"><br><br>
My best friend is a nurse - she is a trauma nurse - and she is by far the calmest person I know. LOL. We were on our way to a wedding once and she took a sip of her coffee and the lid was loose and it spilled ALL OVER her and she calmly said "whoopsie" - I laughed so hard I almost peed my pants - I would have screamed and cursed my head off. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/blush.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="blush"></div>
</td>
</tr></table></div>
My midwife was a nurse for 20 years. She is also a 2nd Degree Reiki practitioner. You aren't the first one to point out that it is strange to be a nurse AND a natural childbirth person. :LOL<br><br>
I love everything about the idea of being a nurse, but when it comes to the birth of my first child I want a very hands off approach. I chose nursing to help the sick. As pregnant women, <b>we aren't sick, we aren't infirm, and we aren't in need of medications and interventions</b> (usually) <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/soapbox.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="soapbox"> .<br><br>
My goals for my career are on two WAY opposite ends of the spectrum. Option 1: childbirth and lactation educator (the ones that are usually hired by the hospital are lacking at best, and i would like to change that). Option 2: Care of the dying. My first rotation was with the extreme elderly and I found the transition FROM life as inspiring as the transition TO life. We'll see. I have about 8 months to decide... and even then I can always change my mind.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,959 Posts
My MW also told us to tell people we're due June 1 (we're 'due' May 15-ish).<br>
We're gonna tell folks spot on anyway.<br><br>
My cousin got married when she was four months and didn't tell anyone--when she had her babe five months after the wedding the whole family was freaking out, that she was massively premature. Now we'd never stretch the truth to that degree, but after that shock, we don't to freak anyone out if the babe comes at 39 or 40 weeks. Don't want people getting worried about us being 'early'
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
12,881 Posts
I've been saying mid-May (due the 10th) but if I was to go past EDD I'd regret that. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/shy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="innocent"> Most people did or would call my mom instead of me, so it's not too bad for me. If I knew everyone would be calling <i>me</i>, I'd say late May.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
707 Posts
i had planned on not telling anyone my real edd (may 27) and saying early june, but my edd also happens to be my mil's b-day, and i just HAD to incorporate that into telling her. i'm glad i did, b/c she turned out to be really, truly surprised when we told her--and she knew we were ttc LOL.<br><br>
that said, you can bet that if i go too far past my edd and get constantly pestered this time around, with any future pregnancies i will not be giving out exact dates!<br><br>
~erin
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,294 Posts
We are telling people sometime around the second or third week of May.<br>
My cycle is wonky, but I think ovulated Aug. 15th-ish...which puts me around May 8th or 10th.<br>
But I thought it was going to be closer to the May 15th.<br>
*shrug*<br><br>
My family lives downstairs, so they won't be asking too many questions <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/wink1.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="wink1"><br>
and DH's family lives 750 miles away.<br>
I figured to just tell them to plan to come out in June--rather than planning around my due date.<br><br>
Everyone else in the family just calls my mom for updates--so SHE'LL be the one getting a billiong calls about did I have the baby yet <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol">
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
12,881 Posts
Lauren- isn't it nice having a go-between? :LOL And it gives mom something to do while we're all waiting.<br><br>
My first was born at 38 weeks (induction) and my second was born the day before EDD so I don't really expect to go late, but they say that third baby is a wild card. Anytime between 38-42 weeks is fine with me I guess but I'd prefer the week of my EDD. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/pinktongue.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="raz">
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,460 Posts
Hi - visiting from April. I actually have chosen to not even know myself what my EDD is since I know it means so little and I've always gone over that date anyway. I have a really good idea that it's smack dab in the middle of April, so when people ask I just say mid to late April. I think it's fine to lie a bit. It got really annoying when I was pg with my first and I got the constant flood of calls at the end asking if the baby was there yet (even from my mom who lived 5 min away - as if she wouldn't be told or something!). Your mw sounds like a smart woman. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
402 Posts
i got real testy around the last few weeks of my pregnancy...i even told one well-meaning phone caller, "do you think i would just forget to let people know that i had the baby?! i am still pregnant!" later, my mom would call with "how are you feeling?" like i don't know what she's really asking.<br><br>
so i'm trying to anticipate being late this time (i was so confident that i'd go early last time...huge mistake)i've told my immediate family and close friends my "real" due date, which is may 12, but told them all to expect baby closer to the end of may. that's what i'm expecting...if the baby happens to be earlier, then it will be a very pleasant surprise <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,610 Posts
I'm visiting from April, too, but I expect to go the 1st week of May (I speak from experience! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> ), and that's what I tell people. Here are some observations from my previous 2 pregnancies:<br><br>
(1) There are people who think that the EDD is an expiration date or a date that the baby *will* be out by. (No concept of the reality that 95% of babies arrive within 2 weeks *either side* of the EDD.)<br><br>
(2) There are people who think that the baby is supposed to arrive *on* the EDD and that you can use the EDD for *real* planning purposes. (No concept that only 5% of babies arrive on their EDD.)<br><br>
(3) There are people who will forget your EDD and ask you 10 billion times. (Quick vague answer helpful here.)<br><br>
(4) There are people who assume that if you don't pick up the phone the second you call, you either (a) are off having the baby, or (b) have had the baby, but forgot to tell them. (They leave *really* annoying messages which they think are really cute, and they don't realize how many other people are doing this.)<br><br>
(5) There are people who if given too much information about your EDD, your birth plan, whether or not you are in labor, at the hospital, whatever, will *drop in on you uninvited* during labor or immediately after the baby is born.<br><br>
So, this is what we do:<br><br>
We are vague, and we give people a general time frame that adds *at least 2 weeks* to our EDD. Considering that my sons were ~2 wks late each, it cuts down on the hassle. We let people know that we expect to be alone for the first couple of weeks anyway, and that it will give them time to plan their visit(s). We have a hierarchy for visitors who stay with us (my mom, dh's mom, then my dad/stepmother --> this is also decreasing order of helpfulness <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/wink1.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="wink1">), and visitors will expected to help out--there's just too much work to go around. We let people know that we would prefer not to have visitors in the hospital (and we let security know to turn them away). There's just too much to focus on at the end of pregnancy/beginning of infancy to have annoying distractions.<br><br>
Edited to add... I'm more than willing to blame all of this on my hormones and more emotional state at the end... because for *me*, it's true, and I want to spare myself and others my crabbiness. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol">
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,043 Posts
We are telling everyone that my due date is May 20th, especially the IL's.<br>
It's just easier that way that telling the IL's to go away.<br><br>
Oddly, my MW was a nurse for years as well. She actually worked on the ward when both me and my brother were born.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,367 Posts
I delivered 5 days before by EDD last time, but I just tell people this baby will show up some time in May. I have trouble even remembering the date (5/21 or 5/23) and I know it's totally irrelevant except for basic planning. I know I'll go into nesting mode a few times so I'm just going to trust we'll have everything ready, which is the only reason you need to keep track of the EDD. As for people, they said nasty things to me just based on how big I was even when they had no idea what my EDD was, so I just expect the same. Thinks like, "You MUST be overdue!" or "There's NO WAY you're going to make it to October!" or "Are you SURE you're not having twins?" And these were all women. Men were always super sweet to me. Maybe this time I'll have some equally nasty comebacks ready!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,919 Posts
I have heard it more than once! Note my due date in my signature, LOL!!!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
175 Posts
<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>luckylady</strong></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">LOL - that's a good idea!<br><br>
off topic:<br><br>
I think it's funny that you are going into nursing but are choosing a MW. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/winky.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Wink"><br><br>
My best friend is a nurse - she is a trauma nurse - and she is by far the calmest person I know. LOL. We were on our way to a wedding once and she took a sip of her coffee and the lid was loose and it spilled ALL OVER her and she calmly said "whoopsie" - I laughed so hard I almost peed my pants - I would have screamed and cursed my head off. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/blush.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="blush"></div>
</td>
</tr></table></div>
I just wanted to say that I am a nurse too and would ONLY deliver with a midwife! I also work on a Labor and Delivery unit(gasp). I see my self a infiltrating the mainstream to spread some good news!! I talked a few families into breastfeeding and a few out of circing!!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
12,881 Posts
Vicky- I thought it was ironic... somehow I ended up on the mailing list for BabyCenter when I used their due date calendar... but anyway the magazine came and they interviewed an OB who chose a CNM for her own prenatal care and birth. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/thumb.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="thumbs up">
 
1 - 20 of 21 Posts
Top