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Another... a friend wants to circ vent

722 Views 4 Replies 5 Participants Last post by  Quirky
I don't even know where to start.

My girlfriend who is 4.5 months pregnant brought up circ'ing at lunch the other day and it's been eating away at me since.

So she says she's going to circ because people say it's cleaner and the baby will get less diseases. After going back and forth the following things were said:

She mentioned that because people don't pull back the foreskin and clean it when they are babies it causes problems. I told her that pulling back the foreskin is why there are problems, you aren't supposed to pull it back, it's a natural progression that happens on it's own given time. Every man I know that has not been circ'ed have never had issues all you have to do is educate your son on how to clean it appropriately once it retracts.

I'm almost thinking the friendship isn't going to work because she showed her "dislike" of mothering and basically called what we do on here gossip. I told her that people or mothers expressing their own experiences and a lot of times both sides to whatever issues is being discussed comes out is not gossip. That it isn't all mothers there are some people who are doctor's and midwives. The look on her face and her hand actions at my computer just made me want to choke her and I'm not a violent person. I got a bit uppity and said something along the lines of when you have experiences with your child are you going to shove those off as "gossip", these are real people with real issues. She waved it off physically like it was nothing.

Oh she also mentioned that now that she's pregnant every woman that's had a child thinks she knows everything about pregnancy and raising kids. I told her that everyone has their own experiences and people like to tell about them. Doesn't mean that you have to take those ideas and experiences as what you think or what you will experience.

We sort of ended it with me saying that she's taking someone else's experience as her reason for doing that and I think she needs to research as much as she can so that she can make her own decision. She mentioned that she has been and has been on doctor's websites who are for and against it and she's still going to circ.

I am just, I don't know what to think. I'm not very good at expressing myself vocally. I'm better on paper or text or whatever you want to call it. I think I need to write her an email but am scared she's going to "end it"... ok not scared but she's a great girl and I don't want her to take it the wrong way but I feel strongly about this and I need to just make her understand that I think she's smart and needs to look at everything before making a decision about it.

We are both moving to NYC very soon, coincidental not on purpose and it would be nice to have someone from "home" there.

She's a funny one. She'll take other people's advice and comments to heart and then try to confirm them with me. I think she looks up to me in some ways but hears so much other stuff and knows that not everyone knows everything which is true and I'm not saying she needs to listen to just me but to make her own decisions based on all the information. There have been many other issues with her pregnancy and some things I know a bit about and some I don't so I told her where to look for information or to even just google it. She is very independant and I see a lot of me in her in that regard. I know that she is going to make things very hard for herself if she continues with her harsh attitudes and understanding that people say these things in love or in fear or in guilt or whatever. She doesn't handle people very well and I know I can't "teach" her that.

I think I attract negative people lmao... I'm a very positive person, pretty smiley most of the time... I dont' want to sound like I'm bragging... I find people coming to me all the time, I'm the one they grab out of a crowd to ask for directions, people are drawn to me and apparently I look like someone to everyone lmao... my husband has negative attitude issues at times (he calls it "being real")... so if things happen for a reason then I want it to be because I'm meant to affect some change... however small the change is. Does that sound egotistical?

I know we can't "save" every baby. All I ask is that she educate herself and maybe I'm foolish for thinking that anyone that educates themselves on any issue will find the "right" answer... I know there isn't any "right" answer because the right answer is not the same for everyone but in this case... I think that if she did educate herself she wouldn't cut off a piece of that baby... yanno? Is that harsh? Maybe but it's how I feel.

I think I'm just venting but if anyone wants to comment or point me in some sort of direction I would really appreciate it.

Thanks for reading, I didn't mean for it to get this long.
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Tell her that it's gonna cost upwards to $300-$500 to get her son Circed because Healthcare doesn't cover it anymore. Then list off all the other stuff she can get for $300-$500 for her baby. *Appeal to the cute layette cuteness outfit factor*
And the "they'll make fun of him for being cut, not-playing-with-a-full-dick factor" if he lives in a high non-circ area, oh like, uh, anywhere?

She sounds shallow enough that that might work, too. Good luck!
If cleanliness is the issue then ask if she has considered having parts of her own genitals trimmed up. It is far harderd for a woman,and yet we manage quite well.What is it about men that we seem to think they can't possibly manage to pull back their foreskin and wash?

OMG that is just soooo damn hard for them to do, so lets just cut off the most important parts(because we all know you loose more than just one part during a circumcision),and then pretend they were born that way.

We pretend that we somehow make male genitalia BETTER by cutting off parts.It is so illogical if one really THINKS about it what we are doing.Reminds me of that article about ear amputation.
OK, since "people" say it's cleaner and will prevent diseases to about hitting her with the statements of every major medical association in the Western world, not one of which recommends circ to prevent diseases or promote hygiene? Would that have an impact? Go to, there's a page there that links them all.
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