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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I am at my wit's end. DD is 8 weeks and cries hysterically for blocks of time. She's been up since 12:30pm and it's now 3:30pm. She won't or can't go to sleep. When I lay down with her, she will drift off then wake up screaming after 10 minutes. She will have boughts of screaming and crying fits every 10 minutes or so -- or she cries hysterically for 90+ continuous minutes. I have rocked, walked, bounced, swung, nursed, burped - everything. And nothing calms her down.<br><br>
I start nursing her and doing the nap routine after 60 minutes of her waking. I've tried doing it earlier and later - and either I miss the window or her 10 minute cat napping IS the nap.<br><br>
I can't hold her all day - I have a 2.5 yo who needs my attention too. I have tried slinging her but she's more restless in that because I'm playing with DS.<br><br>
She rests well in the swing but she's not napping because it's so loud with DS (toddlers have no volume control) and the rocking motion keeps her drowsy but awake. I have hyland's colic tablets and that knocks her out but I only like to use that at night during the witching hours of 7pm-9pm. Plus I feel like I'm drugging her!<br><br>
I get so frustrated that I have to lay her down and walk away. Essentially, CIO. Sometimes she falls asleep othertimes she'll cry and cry and cry before I am composed enough to get her.<br><br>
What am I doing wrong???
 

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Mama, you're not doing anything wrong <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"><br><br>
Have you read Dr. Sears' advice on high needs babies? If not, try here to see if any of this rings a bell for you: <a href="http://www.askdrsears.com/html/5/T050100.asp" target="_blank">http://www.askdrsears.com/html/5/T050100.asp</a><br><br>
Esp. 12 FEATURES OF A HIGH NEED BABY<br><a href="http://www.askdrsears.com/html/5/T050400.asp" target="_blank">http://www.askdrsears.com/html/5/T050400.asp</a>
 

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not sure if you've already tried, but maybe a walk outside with both kids?<br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> Sorry things are getting so frustrating for you, I really do feel your pain. Breath, and be nice to yourself!
 

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#1. Big hugs. Take a deep breath.<br><br>
#2. The colic tablets are homeopathic and thus impossible to overdose on and have no side effects. You could give her the whole bottle and it would be fine.<br><br>
#3. Babies are supposed to sleep lightly. It literally keeps them alive, because they don't fall too deeply asleep. If your babe just gets drowsy in the sling and doesn't sleep but isn't crying, I'd say go with it...just let her be drowsy.<br><br>
#4. Check w/ your doc to make sure there isn't anything physically wrong with the baby. (especially allergies)<br><br>
#5. My little one (ten weeks...my fourth baby) usually naps for about ten minutes and then wants to nurse again....try learning to nurse in the sling so you can keep up with your toddler.<br><br>
#6. I'm not a fan of pacifiers, but maybe your babe has a strong sucking need and would benefit one. Would be better than crying it out IMHO<br><br>
#7. Crying it out can be bad for your childs development. They are designed to cry and receive a response. When they don't it confuses them and sort of short circuits their learning process (Dr. Sears describes it as instead of receiving a flash card with a recoginzable picture on it when responded to, they get a blank card).<br><br>
#8. Obviously if you have to walk away to avoid harming your child, do so...<br><br>
But get help, trying calling friends, La Leche League or other support group
 

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My daughter is only 4 weeks but I have been reading about what to expect in the coming weeks and apparently some babies go through a phase like this around 6-8 weeks. Try kellymom.com for some more troubleshooting ideas, I find that site really helpful.
 

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My son is 7 weeks old as of today and I pretty much carry him all day. He didn't settle down well in the horizontal position in the sling but if I have him in the Ergo carrier (more upright) I can vacuum without him waking up.<br>
Poor baby and poor you. I can't imagine having to run after a toddler at the same time. This one little one already wears me out!<br>
I second kellymom's site. I've had a terrible time with fussiness and everybody suggested it's something in my diet. Turns out we are a spot on match for oversupply issues and once I tweaked my nursing routine my baby felt much more comfortable.
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/hug2.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Hug2"><br><br>
i don't have much advice but am here for support.<br><br>
it's much better to take a 5 minute break from a crying baby than to do something you'll regret.<br><br>
do you have an exercise ball? when dd went through her 2 months of nighttime crying spells, i lived on that ball. hold her tight and bounce...and bounce and bounce and bounce. it immediately calmed her when nothing else would. maybe you can get a smaller one for your 2.5 year old and you can make it a game<br><br>
you are not doing anything wrong!!!!! you are being a great mom who is asking for help! we all need it sometimes!<br><br>
diana<br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/hug2.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Hug2"> again
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"><br>
want to offer you support.<br>
i find when it gets overwhelming, I put both of them in the stroller and walk; going outside usually helps.<br>
have you tried chiropractor? i was amazed by mine.
 

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We had lots of crying and screaming for the first few months, particularly when it came to nursing. I believe my dd was traumatized by deep suctioning done at birth (meconium staining), and nursing triggered the trauma. I've started to wonder if many "colicky" babies experienced some kind of trauma at birth (e.g., having their head tipped slightly, so they experience discomfort and pain on the way out can cause trauma).<br><br>
If any of this sounds like it might apply, I have several suggestions.<br><br>
Read <a href="http://www.mothering.com/articles/new_baby/bonding/connection.html" target="_blank">this article</a> on crying in arms. It's a way you can work with your baby to help them release frustration and trauma. It is NOT CIO.<br><br>
Consider taking your babe to a chiropracter. We see one who specializes in <a href="http://www.nucca.com/" target="_blank">upper cervical adjustment</a>, and she has made a believer out of me.<br><br>
I cannot recommend <a href="http://www.iahe.com/html/therapies/cst.jsp" target="_blank">craniosacral therapy</a> enough. This is what really and truly helped my dd process and release the trauma of her birth. It took more than one session, but it was an incredible experience for both of us. Our chiro does it, but we regularly see a massage therapist who specializes in CST, and it costs $30/session. Find someone who has lots of training in CST and somatoemotional release (<a href="http://www.upledger.com/home.htm" target="_blank">here</a>), then call and ask if they work with babies.<br><br>
If you're interested, you can read more about our experiences <a href="http://shasta.blogsome.com/2006/06/06/birth-story-part-9-epilogue-for-m/" target="_blank">here</a>.<br><br>
I know this is so hard mama. Many hugs, and I hope it gets better soon.
 

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I second the cranio-sacral and chiropractor. Did wonders for ds! WE found a chiro who did cranio as well!<br><br>
Good luck! Don't feel bad when you have to walk away for a bit...it can save your sanity and keep you from doing anything harmful. I know I had to do it a few times! I do like the walking suggestion...if the weather is permitting. When it was yucky out, I would go to the mall to walk! It's always 70 and sunny there!!<br><br>
Good luck!<br><br>
Lynda
 

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I would second the suggestion to get your DD checked by a very good pediatrician. It sounds like she may have reflux or something -- from what you describe it sounds like there is something going on, some kind of pain or other issue -- but maybe you've already checked this out. A friend of mine had a baby who had similar crying spells and after she had treatment for reflux she was a TOTALLY different baby. I mean, it was such relief for my friend.<br><br>
It must be so hard for you -- I'm so sorry. I have a 3 week old and a 22 month old and it's hard even on the good days. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">
 

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That's about the time I tried going off of dairy with my babe(my fourth). Within hours he was a different baby. It's definitely worth a try and by four months I was able to go back on it, though that's pretty early from what I've read of others' experiences.
 

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I know this is probably a very simplistic suggestion and something you have already tried but have your tried laying your baby along your forearm on her tummy letting her arm and leg on the left fall over one side of your arm and the leg and arm on the right fall over the other side of your arm and then walking? My b-i-l had great success in a strange hold where he supported the baby with his hand and the baby laid on his tummy while he slowly twisted his had holding the baby in the air. It seemed like they liked slight pressure on their tummy. Good luck and many hugs you are not doing anything wrong. Hang in there.
 

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One thing you could try would be jumping in the bathtub with your 2yo and your newborn. I had to resort to that a few times when Isaac was little, and it helped calm him and entertain his brother.<br>
Also, possibly try swaddling.<br>
Hugs- it will get better.
 

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We are going through the same thing and today we're taking her to the Ped to see if there is anything we can do to help her.<br><br>
What sometimes works at our house (many of these have already been mentioned):<br>
Taking a bath with her (we still wrap her in a towel to ease her into the water)<br>
Bounce on an exercise ball -also sometimes lay her directly on the ball and hold her tightly while rolling her around to put pressure on her belly<br>
go for a walk outside<br>
put her in front of a mirror while crying<br>
we even recorded her crying and played it back -she stops crying right away but then you are still listening to her crying<br>
We trade her back and forth between us (DH and I) and that sometimes calms her down<br>
car rides work 1/2 the time<br>
and we also get out the ocean waves cd and all fall asleep to that if nothing else works.<br><br>
I hope some of these work for you. I know it's so hard. We've thought about not having any more -it can be SO tough!
 

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Oh, you poor mama. My oldest DD cried almost like that as a new baby and it was awful.<br><br>
Both of my girls have responded beautifully to TIGHT swaddling as babies. Have you been shown how to do it really tight? I think the ten minute naps could be the result of the startle reflex, which, as a PP mentioned, is really a survival thing -- but you can short-circuit it a little by wrapping babe up real tight.<br><br>
Have you read The Happiest Baby on the Block? The five S's really saved the day with DD2:<br><br>
1. SUCK -- nursing, pacifier, whatever works<br>
2. SWADDLE -- tightly wrap the baby in a blanket or sheet<br>
3. SWING -- rock the baby rhythmically, or put babe in the swing on the fastest setting. Really, the fastest. It looks weird but it helps. Swaddle first, then put babe in the swing all swaddled up.<br>
4. SHHHH -- shhing noises, loud and rhythmic, close to the baby's ear. Louder than you'd think would help. You have to be almost louder than the crying.<br>
5. SIDE/STOMACH -- put babe on her side or belly on your arm or chest, or in the swing on her side if you're going to be right there.<br><br>
Some combination of the five might work...with DD2, it was swaddle, side, and shhh, and sometimes suck too. If you can get ahold of the DVD for the Happiest Baby on the Block, it really helped to watch Dr. Karp do these things himself, just to get an idea of how it works. DH and I joked that there must have been some kind of button on DD2 that we pushed when we did the S's -- it was that instantaneous, the end of the crying.<br><br>
Good luck...and <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">!
 

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Has she always cried like this or can you pinpoint something that set it off? If she had vaccinations lately a reaction can be prolonged screaming and crying. If you think that is the case definiately contact your doctor and let them know what's going on.<br><br>
That said, my dd was a total cryer/screamer for no reasons I could ever figure out. Someone mentioned going outside, and I agree, just getting out in the fresh air and doing some sort of activity usually helped. Also getting the baby comfortable in a carrier or sling may help a lot, as might swaddling. But, sometimes it is just a release of emotion, and being there and letting them cry in arms may be the best solution!<br><br>
Sorry, I know how hard it can be!
 

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I second the suggestion of getting her checked for reflux. My dd is high needs but generally she'd stop crying once she got what she wanted (me). Your baby sounds like she's in pain.
 

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I know lots of people dont do the pacifier but my babe has a high sucking need as classified by Dr. Sears and its the only thing, and I mean only thing, that gets him through his fussy times...not only that, but he spits it out as sooooonn as he feels better. you might try it. Remember, you are the best mom that there is for your little one, don't be too hard on yourself and hang in there!
 

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Discussion Starter · #20 ·
Thanks everyone for the great ideas.<br><br>
I've tried a binky but she doesn't like it. I think they are too long as she gags when she starts sucking. I'm still on the search for THE binky.<br><br>
I swaddled her before and she fights out of it and ends up freaking out even more. Now that she's bigger (she was 5.7# at birth, now is 9.10# at her 2 month) she's easier to swaddle.<br><br>
In fact, she's swaddled and sleeping right now! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/thumb.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="thumbs up"> She's in the swing swinging but hey at least she's sleeping. There's nothing wrong with liking the swing so much, is there?? My sister and mom keep scaring me with stories of how horrible it will be to wean her off the swing that I'm leary of using it so much. My son was a dream of a sleeper (but a horrible eater) so I'm not used to using all these crutches.<br><br>
Ah, peace and quiet! Well, from the crying at least. I'm so used to my toddler's constant chatter that it's sort of background noise now. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/winky.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Wink">
 
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