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Discussion Starter #1
so if you search my threads you'll see a common theme of me posting about having another baby question, haha, now I know this is only something I can decide but its seems we mama's spend so much time contimplating this it sometimes helps not to feel so alone<br><br>
we have 3 wonderful (stressful) passionate girls, and DH and I both want #4, whats stoping us?<br><br>
1. finances, I know its shouldnt be a major factor but lets face it it is, if we have #4 it will bring us paycheck to paycheck which is fine but then unexpected $ issues would kill us, right now we live with a super small cusion but at least its there and 1 less thing hanging over our heads<br>
2. this is a crazy/scary world and I wonder what the next 100 years will bring forth for the children I have, do I bring yet another child into this world to endure hardships?<br>
3. the economy, well this goes back to #1 again so really no need to repeat it I guess!<br><br>
why to have one more<br><br>
1. we dont feel done, we have always wanted 4<br>
2. we want to see who else we can create together, what other little character is just waiting to grace us with thier presence<br>
3. we love the big family life and noise and family and love the more the better<br><br><br>
so thats my story, 2x this week we've "almost" gone ahead and left the condom in the drawer only to grab it at the last mintue! haha<br>
one night I just started thinking about labor and that put me off haha and then the next morning I was sad we didnt, and then we go back and forth, we have been doing the back and forth thing since #3 was born, so we either need to just do it or get sterlized because we cant keep messing with our brains like this, I am going to be 36 and DHis 37 and we dont want to have children older then this age so it is now or never for us, no option of waiting 2 years or 5 years then revisiting it, for us this is our time or not<br><br>
thanks for listening!
 

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I know you probably weren't looking for a reply but just wanted to say that dh and I were in similar situation. Ultimately dh had a vas. because we knew that all it takes is one time with us to get careless and carried away and we would end up with another. I am of the belief that this world is only going to get worse not better and I just cannot justify bringing another little one into this world just to have to grow up and struggle.<br><br>
Don't get me wrong I love my kids and I think that is part of the reason I don't want to bring anymore into this world. I just don't think this world is fit to bring children into anymore. It breaks my heart when I see a disabled or ill child. I feel so thankful that I have 3 healthy beautiful children. In a perfect world I would have a bunch more but not now in this "time" of things.<br><br>
I think it is VERY responsible of you to be thinking about these things and taking them into consideration before having anymore children. You should be commended for it. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 

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I totally get everything you're saying & have pondered all those things myself. I personally have a friend that chose to stop after #3 due to their fear/knowledge of the coming hard times. All your points are valid! But you know what I think about? When have things ever been easy, and peaceful and serene and stable.... when has the planet ever been free of hard times?? Ya know? And yet humanity goes on, beautiful things still happen, kids are still blessings. I'm sometimes gripped with terror over fearing the looming changes, but- I really have no way to be sure just how bad or how fast the changes will be. I don't feel like I can live in that kind of fear. I think humans are extremely adaptable- I think any of my kids & myself will be able to figure things out, make lives, & find happiness, even in the midst of great social & financial changing times. Did all the other countries going through major upheavals throughout history just give up & stop reproducing? I think not! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngtongue.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Stick Out Tongue"> lol<br><br>
There is one more thing though. For us, we want some land. Our absolute goal is to acquire some acreage on which to grow food for our big ol' family (we're ttc #5). I'm really freaked out by the idea of trying to follow our traditional foods/humane, organic meat & dairy foods etc, without being able to raise our own. The grocery store prices are AWFUL! And getting worse every single time I shop! The farms we buy from have to keep raising their prices. Raw milk has just about doubled in price. Food prices are intimidating when it comes to feeding many!! (or any, really!) But, I'm still optimistic. If I had to, I could always start raising rabbits in our backyard. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/shrug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="shrug"><br><br>
lol My post went from having babies to backyard rabbit butchering. I think I'm done now. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"><br><br>
Good luck with your decision making with dh! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/fingersx.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="fingersx">:
 

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I say go for it!<br><br>
Follow your heart!! What would you regret most? Having another baby or not having another baby?? That's your call my dear! The cost finiances..my opinion, you'll always find a way. Find ways to cut cost! breastfeed, cloth diaper etc.<br><br>
I love big family's too! And your family are your treasures in heaven..don't let fear lead you..let the desires of your heart lead you. GL!!
 

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Discussion Starter #6
today I think we might just get a dog <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol">: tomorrow may be a baby <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol">:<br>
oh crystal ball where are you!!! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 
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