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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
my DS is almost 15, and we've been asked if he will watch the neighbors 8yo daughter while she works some overtime over the next few weeks. When we talked about the duties, the mother said that he'd be required to make sure that she 'actually' gets in the tub, as she has problems with lying about getting in the tub and just wetting herself and saying, i'm done.<br><br>
I'm not sure if I want him doing this. They pay is of no concern to me as we dont need the money and she needs the money a lot more than he does. I'm just not thrilled about my 15yo (who happens to be very late with puberty, i dont know if that makes it better or worse) seeing a young girl naked or partly naked.<br><br>
DH said we let him give our 7yo nephew a bath all the time, and we dont think twice about it, but now that its the opposite sex I'm flipping out..<br><br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/wild.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="wild">
 

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I don't think that's appropriate at all and I am very surprised they'd even ask him to do this.<br><br>
Would it be possible for you to run over at bath time and do that particular duty?
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
I verified this, and she only wants him to poke his head in the bathroom to make sure she's actually in the tub, he does not have to actually do anything beyond that.<br><br>
I'm satisfied with that.
 

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NEVER in a million years! Add me to the "I can't believe she even asked" list. What an uncomfortable situation to put him in! Honestly, just that one thing alone would be enough for me not to have him babysit for her.
 

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I"d probably advise against it for HIS protection. Just think how easily she could say something that would cause trouble, either on purpose because she was angry about something or with an innocent comment misunderstood by a quick-to-react person. "Boy babysitter watches me while I take a bath" could sound awful to the wrong ears.<br><br>
Not the same situation, but an illustration of how fast things can get out of hand... Had a colleque at work with a very over rambuction hyper dog named Elliot. Child goes to school and says "Elliot licked my penis" -- because the dog was running around at bath time. TOtally innocent. CPS was there by the time the parents got home from work that day and it took weeks to get it sorted out. Funny from the outside, terrifying for the inside, I"m sure.
 

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<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">I verified this, and she only wants him to poke his head in the bathroom to make sure she's actually in the tub, he does not have to actually do anything beyond that.</td>
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And what is he to do if she is not in the tub? Just make sure he knows what he's supposed to do in any given scenario. If she is not in the tub is it likely she will get in with a reminder from outside the door or just ignore him? Make sure the mother knows that if this girl refuses to bath on her own when he is there that she will simply have to be a bit grungy because your son will not be actively getting her to bathe.
 

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What happens if she needs help adjusting the water temperature/falls/gets soap in her eyes/can't find a towel/etc. He might be put in an even more awkward situation. I would totally not go for it.
 

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<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Kirsten</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/10751269"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">NEVER in a million years! Add me to the "I can't believe she even asked" list. What an uncomfortable situation to put him in!</div>
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Ditto, and what an uncomfortable situation to put that poor girl in--at 8 it is completely inappropriate to have a teenage boy peek in at you in the tub.
 

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Add me to the list of those who think it's not a good idea, mainly for the protection of your son. Frankly, I think the whole situation is strange. When my teenage twins are home with their 9-year-old sister, I don't have my 9-year-old take a shower or bath during that time b/c sometimes she still does need help, and it shouldn't be a teenager's responsibility to help out with something that private.
 

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I would not want my son to babysit a young girl period, regardless of the bath situation. Too much potential for some kind of misunderstanding/accusation. We do not have underage female sitters, for the same reason. I have told DH to make sure he is never alone in our home with a girl under 18. I am extremely paranoid on that issue.
 

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<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Kirsten</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/10751269"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">NEVER in a million years! Add me to the "I can't believe she even asked" list. What an uncomfortable situation to put him in! Honestly, just that one thing alone would be enough for me not to have him babysit for her.</div>
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Me too! That is a liability, that I would never want for my own son. I'm not super trusting. Even the most normal looking people might accuse my son of trying to molest their daughter.
 

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I rarely lurk in the pre-teen area, but as a mom of a 7yr old, I can say that she still needs help in the bathroom adjusting water temp, etc. I personally never have a sitter bathe my child and wouldn't advise your ds to take on the job. My dd would freak if a male saw her in the tub.
 
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