Mothering Forum banner

1 - 2 of 2 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
206 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
<p>Going to the 30 day conference for sole custody.If they ask is there anything I would like to say... is it better to answer or not? I do not think quick on my feet so I would like to be a little more prepared.</p>
<p>I ask because I was offered the chance at the child support hearing and was so startled and nervous that I declined to say anything.</p>
<p> </p>
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,042 Posts
<p>I would definitely have a 30 second to 1 minute speech prepared. (I had a couple of these prepared that I never had to use because we ended up settling out of court)  You can bring notes - just with points that you/ your lawyer think are important to bring up.  You want to appear put together and not lose it in court.  Absolutely no crying.  No blame.  Stick to your points but have something prepared so you can remain calm.  Look the judge directly in the eyes and talk directly to him/her.   Like a 30 second TV commercial - I wouldn't expect to hold the judges attention any longer than that.  If you prepare it you won't have to 'think on your feet'. </p>
<p>I also like to think of the personal side of this - in terms of this is between you and the judge.  The judge is making a decision that will affect the welfare of your kids - so make it personal with him/her something like -  'I know you have to make a difficult decision that will affect the welfare of my kids.  If you agree that I get full custody they will unquestionably have a better life because (state your reasons).  I'm sure you will decide in favor of my children and I for these reasons."  Do what you can to make the judge look like the good guy in all of this.   All of the above as opposed to just saying "I should get custody because of x y and z". </p>
<p>I'm big into negotiating and figuring out how to get what I want - and it should not be overlooked that how to get what you want may involve more making the judge look like a good guy than what your actual reasons are.  You also have to sit back and realize the <em>immense</em> importance of this and write the speech for that reason alone.  You don't go into the most important test of your life unprepared. </p>
<p>hth</p>
 
1 - 2 of 2 Posts
Top