[goodygumdrops]

So, my dh and I are separated at the moment. He is in the military and was just back for a two week trip. He has been staying with his mom. She is an alcoholic but generally a nice person. I don't trust 100%.<br><br>
So, my son has been staying over there a lot. After two nights or so, I noticed that he had a bunch of bug bites and I mentioned it to them and they made a bunch comments " Oh, that's funny...I put bug repellent on him or it must not be bugs...must be a rash" Now, I knew it was bugs and I figured that it was mosquitos.<br><br>
A couple of days ago, I went over there and I noticed that she had been letting him play in a kiddie pool. It was full of yucky stuff floating and I immediately commented that it was gross and he shouldn't be swimming in it. My dh and mil both made excuses..saying that they change the water every other day, etc. Anyway, I decided to let ago because I knew my dh would be leaving in a couple days and my son wouldn't be over there that much.<br><br>
So, today my mil sends me a text saying that she took my son to the pharmacist and he said that my son had excema or psorissis. The pharmacist said that he needed antibiotics and to take him to doctor. At this point, I am fuming because I don't understand why my mil is taking him anywhere. I felt it was totally violation but I kept my mouth shut about it and I had my dh make him an appointment.<br><br>
We went to doctor and I explained the situation and sure enough, he agreed with me...my son did not have a rash and it was bug bites. I was really irritated so we went home and had a bit of down time before going back over to inlaws to meet up. My dh is leaving tomorrow and we had plans to have dinner. So, when I got over there, I told her about the visit. I told her that I didn't want my son swimming in that pool anymore that it was a pool of bacteria. She was clearly irritated and she told me the water was perfectly clean and that I should go out and look at it. Then she tells me the kiddie pool water is probably cleaner than the chlorinated pool that is part of the community that I live in. I told her that I didn't think so and and she kinda got attitudy. I told her that unless she scrubbed the pool with a bristle brush and bleach, than I am certain that it has bacteria that cause infection. I think I might have said something like, " I am his mom and I don't want him in the kiddie pool" and she of course got really red in the face and wouldn't look at me so, I got up and we left.<br><br>
Now, don't get me wrong if this was one of those shallow molded pools that you would spray, clean and refill every time, then I wouldn't have as much as a problem. This is a hand me down, blow up pool that looks like it's never been cleaned and my son is running around the yard and carrying all this stuff in the pool from his feet and she only cleans it every other time.<br><br>
So, tell me....did I overreact?

 

[Purple*Lotus]

I am not a Mom, but I don't think you did. If the water isn't clean, it isn't clean. Not too much to argue about there! Also I think it is strange that she was taking him to the doctor. That should be between you and your H.

 

[Kidzaplenty]

IDK, I think that is a bit of an overreaction about the pool. I would have let my children play in it. Running around the yard and then "stuff" getting in the water is no different than them getting "stuff" on them out of the water.<br><br>
The taking him to the doctor is a whole other issue, and <i>that</i> would have really made me mad. I am my child's care provider/decision maker. NO ONE takes him/her to the doctor without my say, and without me being there (barring an emergency). I am surprised them allowed a noncustodial parent to take him in in the first place. Around here they would never have seen him (unless your DH was with him, in that case, I would be angry at him).

 

[velochic]

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Kidzaplenty</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/15400839"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">The taking him to the doctor is a whole other issue, and <i>that</i> would have really made me mad. I am my child's care provider/decision maker. NO ONE takes him/her to the doctor without my say, and without me being there (barring an emergency). I am surprised them allowed a noncustodial parent to take him in in the first place. Around here they would never have seen him (unless your DH was with him, in that case, I would be angry at him).</div>
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I think the grandmother just took him to the drug store and the pharmacist thought it was eczema or psoriasis... not the doctor.<br><br>
OP - I agree with you on the pool needing to be cleaned. Water can carry all sorts of diseases and be unhealthy for kids, especially because they tend to ingest it.<br><br>
I think the scrubbing with bleach is kind of over-the-top, though. Cleaning it with diluted vinegar would be sufficient, most likely. I would be on the other end and not want my dd swimming in a pool that was cleaned with straight chlorine bleach. I have a hard enough time letting her swim in chlorinated pools (would LOVE to find a saltwater pool near by). But yes, I think it was appropriate to ask her to not let your son swim in the pool until it was cleaned. After that initial cleaning, I think refilling every other day is about right, with an occasional wipe down with diluted vinegar. JMO.

 

[Kidzaplenty]

Right, I read "doctor" not "pharmacist", not sure why. But that is still a "medical" issue that should have never been discussed without me (had it been my child).<br><br>
As for the bleach, I have two children allergic to bleach. So, I guess I am a bit leary of telling someone to scrub it with bleach.<br><br>
OTOH, I totally think you have the right to say, "I don't want my kid..." (to whatever) and MIL (and anyone else for that matter) should follow that without arguement.

 

[sapphire_chan]

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>velochic</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/15401399"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I think the grandmother just took him to the drug store and the pharmacist thought it was eczema or psoriasis... not the doctor.</div>
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That would explain why he thought antibiotics would do anything for eczema or psoriasis. Although I suspect granny invented that bit of advice "can't be anything I'VE done wrong, he needs antibiotics!!"

 

[alegna]

I get squicked out when pools (of that type) aren't dumped out and refilled each day. BUT.... I never "clean" them other than that. A spray of the hose if there's grass or gunk, then let them dry and fill them up again the next time we're going to play.<br><br>
-Angela

 

[*bejeweled*]

You did NOT overreact. You tried to be nice about it and that didn't work. The poor baby had bug bites all over him.

 

[goodygumdrops]

Thanks for the replies. See, I would not normal get icky about the pool but she wasn't washing it everyday and my son would be running around in the grass and dirt and then get in pool and it was super gross. I was really concerned about the stagnant water growing bacteria. Especially because he was covered head to toe with nasty bug bites that he had scratched till they were scabby. I went online and read a bit about it and generally unless it's cleaned every day, it's not really good for them. I kinda don't trust my mil to do this.<br><br>
So this morning she sent me an email saying that she wouldn't be able to do my business cards because she was too busy. And then she said that she was going to be working on her house(and therefore would be too busy) and that she wishes me well in my career and job and that she hopes me and her son can work it out. I am assuming from this email that she is basically dismissing me.

 

[limabean]

I'm a little confused -- both you and the doctor think the rash is bug bites, but your complaint to your MIL was about bacteria in the pool? I would think you'd be concerned about mosquitos breeding in there, since your DS had bug bites, not a bacteria-caused rash.<br><br>
Either way, I'd be annoyed by her not dumping and refilling the water daily instead of every other day -- I'm just confused about the bug bite/bacteria thing.<br><br>
Also, did you see a bunch of mosquitos swarming near the pool? If not, I wonder if it's bed bugs and not mosquitos.<br><br>
ETA: Yes, her e-mail does sound dismissive. Sounds like it's time to just give her some space.

 

[Emmeline II]

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>limabean</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/15402056"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I'm a little confused -- both you and the doctor think the rash is bug bites, but your complaint to your MIL was about bacteria in the pool? I would think you'd be concerned about mosquitos breeding in there, since your DS had bug bites, not a bacteria-caused rash.</div>
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Scratching bug bites can make them open wounds that can get infected.