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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
We had guests yesterday (around 7 pm), people we don't know very well, some friends of my husband's whom I met for the first time. Ds (2 y/o) kept running and screaming out of excitement and also because it was close to his bedtime and he was overstimulated. I told him a couple of times not to run and to stop screaming, but I knew he wouldn't listen and I had no means to stop him (I tried redirecting him too). Our guests weren't too upset with the situation, we had to raise the voice a little bit in order to have a conversation, but everything turned out ok. Now I wonder if I should have done something different in order to show ds this wasn't proper behaviour when people were trying to have a conversation.<br>
Any suggestions?<br>
TIA
 

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I don't really think you can "show" a 2 year old anything that would help him stop himself in that situation. I do think you could excuse yourself and go get him settled down in another room, and perhaps carry him back when he was calmer with a snack or quiet toy that engaged him. But if he's having none of it I would probably ask if anyone wanted to go for a walk and that way you could still talk while ds burned off steam.<br><br>
I tend to think that anyone wanting to hang out with a mom and her two year old should be realistic and know that company is often very over stimulating to a toddler and it brings out lots of "showing off" behavior--of course, because there is someone new to impress with how fast you can run, jump, throw, yell etc. Either plan a family friendly activity like walking or expect to have a little person offering added noise and action to the conversation!
 

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Honestly, I think your DS is too young to be expected to not interupt, particularly that close to bedtime and overstimulated to boot. Think of it from his perspective. It's not fair (or appropriate, to use your words) for you to be disrupting his very important bedtime routine. He's too young to understand adult conversations, and definitely too young to control his impulses when he feels the need to say something. My 6 year old is only just getting the concept.<br><br>
The options, as I see it, are to either accept the interruptions and try to have your conversation anyway, table the conversation until DS is in bed, or to try to involve ds in something quiet while you have your conversation. This is when I would pull out a book to look through, a coloring book, some blocks or even a video for a few minutes.
 

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I have this issue too, because when I get to see adults, I want to have a grown up conversation.<br><br>
But, if you look at it from the child's point of veiw, why is our grown up conversation more important than what our DCs are trying to say.
 

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If it's really hindering conversation, one of us will usually take the kids off to another room for a bit. That's what dh did when I had some work colleagues over. I was the one who 'needed' the grown up conversation with them, so he took them and put their pjs on. We try to have afternoon or very early evening events just to avoid that kind of thing.<br><br>
I honestly don't think you can expect an overexcited, overtired 2 year old to be quiet so the adults can talk!
 

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I always tried to find a way to engage my child in those situations. Sit on the floor and do some sort of play activity, or coloring or puzzles -- and try to talk at the same time. My kids (still) get a little nutso when they are not well occupied. Especially with guests around. If you cannot do this for him because you are busy serving guests, then I would "assign" someone to do it. Ask your 2 yo. to get a certain toy or puzzle and "show" your guests how it works.<br><br>
Another method is to assign tasks to the 2 yo. to keep him busy. Have him carry drinks to people and hand them over (worst case, something spills. Oh well!) Ask him to clear away napkins, dishes, give him a damp cloth and ask him to clean the chairs and table, etc... Evem if he only gives his attention to the task for a minute, it may be enough to center/calm him.<br><br>
I would also not make a habit of telling him to stop screaming and running when you don't really expect him to listen. This just teaches him that its okay to ignore your requests. I would not waste my breath unless I was prepared to follow through and help him to listen.
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
for your suggestions. I will be better prepared next time!
 

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At 2 I would have *expected* this out of a Toddler who is close to his bedtime.<br><br>
That was Age-Appropriate behavior so he didn't do anything "wrong"<br><br>
Until he is older and emotionally maturer to handle later-than-normal bedtimes, then I would wrap up evening visits with friends at least 1 hour prior to bedtime.<br><br>
I was ANAL about bedtime when DS was that age and particularly my InLaws gave me a hard time about it. But I always told them they were absolutely welcome to deal with a Screaming, Angry, Screeching Toddler who was out of control at the moment if they wanted.<br><br>
They got the message.
 
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