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It hurts to seriously dislike your mom. It really hurts to hear myself think that I don't want to be around her anymore. It hurts really bad.<br><br>
My DH took the girls to my moms house for thanksgiving dinner tonight. Obviously I couldn't go. So my aunt asks him when I'm getting fixed, and he said that I'm not, that he's getting a vasectomy. And two of my aunts and my mom ask why he'd do that. Why would he get snipped if I could just get my tubes tied while they're doing the c/s. Then my mom tells him not to do that, just in case he wants to have more kids in the future, just because I can't have kids doesn't mean he can't. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"><br>
So I called her and she said she didn't mean it like that, what if I died?<br><br><br>
So now I'm sitting here crying... again. I'm mad at my husband for telling me this to begin with, and I'm mad at my mom for being herself and furious that MY MOM is like that. Now the tears I've been fighting off all day are pouring freely. Who says that to their son in law????<br><br>
Stupid, stupid... I hate this.<br><br>
To make matter worse, when my husband came home he said my aunts said that to him. I told him I was calling all my aunts to talk to them about why they'd say that. He said "You know how they are, but if it will make you feel better" so I called my mom first who said a lot of "thats not how we meant it" So then I told my my husband I was writing my aunt an email (my favorite aunt btw, so it wasn't harsh) and he said OK. Then five mins after I sent the email he tells me that that aunt didn't say anything, but sent her love and best wishes. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/irked.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="irked">: He didn't even mention my mom the first time, just says my "aunts" said this to him. I've sent her two more emails apologizing for the miscommunication. But like I need this....
 

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Oh Sage...that's so hard. <HUGS><br><br>
I'm so sorry that you are going through this. I know that you are having a hard time with this, and it's not fair that you have to do this while being pg.<br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"> I hope that everything gets fixed and in the end you can be at peace.
 

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Wow. I bet you can't wait for this pregnancy to be over. You've had to deal with so much.<br><br>
Moms... moms say the stupidest things at times. They get all nervous for us and that crap just pops out of their mouth.<br><br>
I don't know what your relationship was like with her before this (sounds like it was good) but I hope you can both get past it. It sounds like you need all the support you can get right now. From moms and aunts, and anyone who can be there to hold your hand and help you get through this time.<br><br>
Blessings to you...
 

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Sage just <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> I'm sorry she's not being there for you when you need her.
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> Bah. Mothers can be so destructive and either have no idea or, worse, h ave an idea that they are doing it and not really "get" why what they say is ridiculous and hurtful.<br><br>
I'm so sorry, Sage.
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> I'm so sorry. I understand how you feel, my mom says stuff like that all the time. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">
 

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I don't know if it is just my family, or what, but what DH and I do for birth control is completely NONE of their business. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/irked.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="irked">:<br><br>
I would be mad that it was even a topic of discussion!
 

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Wow, that is really harsh. Don't hold back those tears, you deserve to have a good cry. I hope your mom appologizes 100 times. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> I'm so sorry you're having to deal with all this. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">
 

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That was really inapproriate of your mom; I would just start to keep certain things personal.
 

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I'm so sorry....I know it is so hard when your mom says hurtful things like that...my mom once told me "I feel sorry for any child that would have you as it's mother" and for this pregnancy, may not even come out to see her as it is Xmas time.<br><br>
Hugs.......
 

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BOO on your mom for being so insensitive!<br><br>
AND...<br><br>
BOO on your hubby for not putting them all in their place with a hearty, "I don't think how we handle these things is any of your business."
 
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