[SheBear]

I need some advice. Ds is nearly 20 months old. I'm 18 weeks pregnant. I seem to be losing my milk supply. I've never felt much of a let-down reflex, so I don't have a lot to judge by, but I very rarely hear him swallow anymore, and when he does, it's only like, once, maybe twice, during a feeding.

He still asks to nurse at least 3-4 times a day, and if we are at home all day, then he asks much more than that. However, he doesn't seem interested in *really* nursing....he mostly just comfort sucks. (This, incidentally, drives me crazy! I can barely deal with the physical sensation of it! It has always bugged me, but I tolerated it much better when he was tiny. I've thought about it a great deal, and emotionally, I don't mind the idea of comfort-nursing, or "being a human pacifier". I know that he needs that. However, physically I can't deal with it. I don't like breast-play during sexual intimacy--just don't like the sensations for whatever reason. So, that's causing us some strife, too.)

So, the problem is, I'm afraid that he's weaning. I know there's a good chance--even if he does--that he'd start back when the baby is born, which is fine. All along I've intended/expected to tandem. However, I'm really concerned about him weaning--even temporarily--this young, and esp. just as we are going into cold/flu season! He's never had an ear infection, or any illness other than sniffles and such. I'm afraid that if he's getting none-to-barely-any mama's milk, that he will get sick this winter, and I want to prevent that, of course.

Then there's the fact that he's not even 2 yet....I really want to nurse him longer. And the fact that he seems to need it as much as he does reinforces that. But if there's no milk, and I can't deal with the comfort sucking (honestly, I really try! I have to bite my inner cheek--drew blood once--and dig my fingernails into the underside of my breast, just to distract myself, but I do try!) then what's going to happen?

Is there anything I can do? Would herbs help? (and are all the usual ones safe for use during pregnancy?) Any way I can teach him to suck more seriously, rather than just pacifying?

Any advice at all? As far as nutrition goes, he eats solids really well--I'm not worried about that at all. (In fact, he's 28 lbs and 35 inches tall, as of Tuesday!) I'm mainly just worried about him missing out on the immunities at this time of year, and the possibility of the nursing relationship ending too soon.

TIA,

 

[kanpope]

I saw your post and just wanted to say hi! You already received my response via private e-mail! I hope it helped some!

Talk to you soon!

Love,
Nicole

 

[3girlsmommy]

Hi! I nursed my oldest throughout my pregnancy. Toward the end I found that the only way I kept from screaming while nursing was to take some deep breaths and try and relax. I was using hypnobirthing and using those techniques really helped me "deal" w/ the nursing w/ a reduction in milk. Good Luck!

 

[sea island mama]

I tried to nurse dd, but around 3 months I couldn't stand it any more & had to cut her off, cold turkey except for a few seconds in the morning. It was a horrible couple of months trying to get her to sleep without nursing, but there was no way I could breath through it or distract myself. The last couple of times I tried, I was sobbing & ended up pulling her off before she fell asleep - I just couldn't do that any more

. Of course she was a lot older, but if you can handle it, maybe you could gradually work away from it before you have to.
There's nothing you can do about the milk anyway, so try not to stress about it. After the baby arrives, he may or may not start nursing again. Dd has been asking more & more often lately. At first it was a couple of times a month, then once a week & now it's every couple of days. Sometimes she says there's no milk coming out so she has sort of forgotten how to do it, since there is definitely lots of milk

.
Anyway, try to set up new routines around the times he usually nurses & soon he (hopefully) will find them as comforting as nursing.
HTH

 

[Sustainer]

Make sure you're drinking a ton of water and eating well. Then try drinking Tea For Two, which safely increases milk production during pregnancy:

http://www.babiesinbalance.com/nursing_needs.html

 

[Sahara]

Sarah,
Hope you're hanging in there with the nursing pain!! It sounds like you are really trying to meet your DS's needs, which can be tough to do during pregnancy. I'm 20 weeks pg and I don't think I have any more milk, either. DS's nursing pattern has changed, too, he might suck effectively for 2 or 3 minutes, then it changes to the 'comfort-sucking' you are talking about, which I cannot bear for longer than a few minutes. I was surprised by how comfortable my DS was with limiting our nursing, but he is 31 months now, a bit older than your DS.
I found that once DS was down to nursing only once a day, it was much less painful for me. If your DS responds positively to substitutes, Dad reading books, drives in the car, field trips to the park, then you are still meeting his needs. You'll know if he really needs to nurse, 'cause he will be very single-minded and vocal about it

You have nursed your DS on demand for almost 2 years, so I bet he has a pretty hearty immune system. I don't know anything about the tea that was mentioned, but it might be worth a try. There is a good book out there about herbs and it includes info about their safety during pregnancy, it was just published this summer. I will have to hunt down the title and get back to you!
I have found that nursing during pregnancy changes the relationship because you have to find a balance that meets both of your needs, much harder to do than when you are able to freely meet the demands of your toddler.
Take care,
Steph

 

[SheBear]

Thanks so much, everyone! I really appreciate the help and encouragement!

Nicole, I did get your email--thanks so much! Good to see you around here!

I appreciate the sympathy/empathy from everyone...it reminds me that others have gotten through this--and more!--before me, and everyone survived just fine!

Ds seems emotionally fine with the limits and distractions that I have put on him. I don't really limit the # of times he can nurse--I just tell him it's time to finish (and count for him) if it's starting to annoy me. And for months (even before I got pg) he'd go for hours (like if we were in town, or doing something new to him) without even thinking about nursing.

So, I don't really think he's suffering. As Sahara said, when he's serious about nursing, he definitely makes his need known!

Sahara, the way you described your ds's nursing pattern is exactly what my ds is doing! I'd be very interested in the name of that herbal reference--I'm always looking for good books on the subject!

Devrock, thanks for that link! The tea sounds good--interestingly, I'm already taking alfalfa supplements (for iron) and drinking RRL tea...I could just add the nettles and be practically covered! Although I thought I had heard that spearmint and other mints were not good for milk supply.....I must be thinking of something else.

I'm trying to remain philosophical about it all...I think we'll be fine if I can just keep my paranoia at bay! LOL! :LOL

Incidentally, (and interestingly!) I squeezed out a couple drops of milk yesterday and tasted it--it's really salty! Wow! I've always heard that happens, but I thought the difference would be more subtle, and really only noticeable to a real breastmilk conniseur such as my son! Ha!

 

[Sustainer]

Quote:

Originally posted by SheBear Although I thought I had heard that spearmint and other mints were not good for milk supply.....I must be thinking of something else.

I think they just add the spearmint for flavor. If all you need is nettle, you can get it here:

http://coldfusion.affiliateshop.com/...bulkherb/n.php

 

[merpk]

Seems to me that as the milk supply dwindles in the later stages of pregnancy, the toddler will nurse more and more. Not sure why, really, but it keeps happening to me, anyway ...

Meditation while nursing helps. Focused breathing, too.

Hurts.

Total empathy here.