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Dh and I live in a big apartment building in a city. The staff is *very* excited about the arrival of our little one (200 apartments and only two other kids in the building, because all the apts are either studios or one-bedrooms), and, of course, we interact with tons of neighbors every day in the elevators, hall, lobby, etc.<br><br>
I'm wondering how protective I need to be of the little one (or if I need to be at all) when she arrives. We are planning a birth center birth, so, barring any complications, we should be coming home 4-8 hours after she arrives. I know people will want to meet her when we get back and throughout her first few weeks. I'm planning on taking it very easy for the first month or so, and probably not taking her to very crowded places, but unless I lock myself in my apartment, I can't help but see people I know. Babe will usually be in a sling when I go out with her (to get the mail, walk the dog, get some fresh air--basic stuff like that), but in some ways that seems almost worse than a stroller, insofar as people interested in seeing her would have to lean down and get very close.<br><br>
So, after this long preamble...should I be worried about staff/neighbors wanting to meet her (in terms of illness, etc.)? If so, any suggestions for some polite ways to tell them to keep a bit of distance?<br><br>
Thanks!
 

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I never had any problems with strangers touching Damien although I've read a few posts mentioning this as an issue. <i>But</i>, should it happen, I wouldn't worry too much for a few reasons. For one, there is a significant transfer of immunites from mother to child that happens in the 9th month in utero. Babies are born with a temporary supply of antibodies from their mother's blood that will protect them until they can formulate their own disease-resisting proteins. And secondly, the breastfed infant and mother encounter all the same potential diseases in the environment and the mother's body creates antibodies that are passed on through her milk (as I'm sure you're aware <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/winky.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Wink"> )<br>
That being said, Damien didn't get his first cold until he was around 3 months old and he was handled quite a lot his first few weeks of life <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/love.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="love"> . That's not to say that some infants won't get sick but I imagine that to be a little more rare (statistically speaking.)<br><br>
People LOVE newborns and babies so it'll be hard to avoid that unless, as you mention, you stay indoors all day...but I imagine body language goes a long way in avoiding too much unwanted attention, iykwim...<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/winky.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Wink"> (At least, it worked for me. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/thumb.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="thumbs up"> )
 

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You'll probably find that most people are very keen to look, but have enough sense not to touch. A few will gently stroke a cheek- for me, this is fine. My 3 month old has been passed around the playground for cuddles with the mummies since she was days old, and she's far and away the healthiest of my children.<br>
I heard, though can't find my source, that newborns can actually receive antibodies from the people that handle them: that's a pretty cool gift to receive.
 

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I've never minded people touching my babies, and neither got sick as babies. Luka had some minor stuffiness when he was very little, but the rest of the household was very sick, so he got it from us (or he wasn't even sick, just stuffy still from the birth). Probably 15 people held him in his first few hours (we called all our friends and invited them over), we went to the mall when he was 2 days old, and he was 4 days old when we went to both of our parents' Xmas gatherings (and his dad's family had well over 50 people there, many of whom held Luka). With my oldest, we went to the park and out to eat with friends on day 2. I just don't worry about EBF babies and germs.<br>
(also, both my babies were born in winter and were still fine).
 

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When DS was in the cradle hold in the sling, people would NOT lean in to see or touch. Know why? Huge massive gargantuan nursing boobies *right there*. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"><br><br>
Wear some low-cut tops so they just spill out over the sling. That'll keep the normal people away. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/wink1.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="wink1">
 

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I used to live in NY, so I know wat you mean. Listen-- it's nto the worst thing in the world if someone touches your newborn. Thankfully, they are not made of glass. But I'm one of those who did not want a lot of people touching mine-- and on top of that, she was born with respiratory distress and small for gestational age, and she had antibiotics early on, etc, etc...NOT every baby is born in the same health condition. There would be nothing wrong if you chose to treat your baby as a bit more fragile than others, and told people that they can look but not touch-- if that's what will make you feel safe. Just say the doctor gave special orders. People need to stop assuming that all babies are born with the same level of resistance. I personally don't touch any one's child unless they specifically ask me to. I mean, I didn't touch my very good friend's daughter until she was six months-- and the mother finally said "Faith, why don't you ever touch her???" I was ready to touch her anyway, at 6 months. But I would never want to be accused of passing a cold or anything to someone else's child. Also-- you can tell people to touch the feet or clothing, but not the hands or face. Keeping the baby in a sling and holding her at a bit of a distance so that people can look at her but not easily touch her-- helps to send the message. But overall-- how much touch you allow is up to you.<br><br>
Faith
 

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I guess I didnt worry about it. I had a homebirth and stayed home til she was 4 days old. We took her to the Ped forthe PKU test, and I popped her in the sling and walked around Target for a few things (clothes, diapers, nursing bra,and paci searching)<br><br>
People commented but no one tried to touch.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>mollyeilis</strong></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">When DS was in the cradle hold in the sling, people would NOT lean in to see or touch. Know why? Huge massive gargantuan nursing boobies *right there*. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"><br><br>
Wear some low-cut tops so they just spill out over the sling. That'll keep the normal people away. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/wink1.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="wink1"></div>
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<br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/biglaugh.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="laugh">:<br><br>
maybe THATS why no one came close enough to touch!!!!!!! I was wearing a nursing tank cause only my jeans fit and it was September 15th!
 

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<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">maybe THATS why no one came close enough to touch!!!!!!! I was wearing a nursing tank cause only my jeans fit and it was September 15th!</td>
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Yep. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"><br><br>
My first big outing was as a b'maid when DS was 9 weeks old, and I was just spilling out of the spaghetti strap gown. I had DS in my pretty brocade hotsling, and people would put their hands out, look at where their hands were heading, and pull them back. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngbiggrin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="orange big grin">
 

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Just yesterday at church I was holding ds and he had a blanket over his head, because he fell asleep while nursing. It was so funny to watch people start to lift the blanket and then change their minds. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol">:<br><br>
I think they were afraid of what might be under there. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/winky.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Wink">
 

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I think when you have a baby in the sling, people are dealing with social norms regarding personal space - your space. Its just not socially OK for strangers to touch something so close to you (esp. your boobs!) I was shocked the first time I went somewhere with DS outside of the sling (2 months maybe?) and people touched him!! It totally had never happened before.
 

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<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>mollyeilis</strong></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;"><br>
Wear some low-cut tops so they just spill out over the sling. That'll keep the normal people away. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/wink1.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="wink1"></div>
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Oooh, but the <i>normal</i> people aren't the ones I worry about. I live next to a construction site currently. Hmmm. Eh-oh.
 

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I wouldn't worry about healthy people and most of those who are sick will keep their distance anyway. If someone does approach your baby and is sick you can just ask them not to get too close. When G first came to us he was a month and I took him to work to show everyone. There was only one person who asked to hold him and she is one of my very good friends and had been a major support to me throughout my TTC and waiting for a foster placement saga. So of course I would want her to hold him! Everyone else just looked. Now when I bring him in, I offer him to some people I know are interested in G and his daily accomplishments.<br><br>
I think that your 'mama instincts' will kick in and you'll know exactly how to handle the situations when they arise.
 

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Discussion Starter · #14 ·
<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
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<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>mollyeilis</strong></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">When DS was in the cradle hold in the sling, people would NOT lean in to see or touch. Know why? Huge massive gargantuan nursing boobies *right there*. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"><br><br>
Wear some low-cut tops so they just spill out over the sling. That'll keep the normal people away. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/wink1.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="wink1"></div>
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Well, it will be summer...and VERY hot.<br><br>
So...problem solved? <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/bfinfant.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="bfinfant">:<br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol">
 

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I find that by wearing my little man, people didn't get too close or ask to see much since it meant they were in my personal space staring at my breasts.
 
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