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The setting -- DS is almost two, and LOVES being in the back yard. He's got tons of toys back there -- a swing set, a sandbox, a playhouse, and lots of balls. (Yeah, he's spoiled, because mommy hits a lot of baby swapmeets and the grandparents are generous.)
The neighbours live two doors away, and can see into our back yard from their porch. They've got five kids, 1, 6, 11, 15 and 17 (I'm guessing at the ages of the teenagers).
It's the 6yo (girl) and 11yo (boy) who are the subject of my vent. I'm totally feeling stalked by them. Every time we're in our back yard, they head over to play with DS and his toys. I can sort-of see a 6yo wanting to play with my 2yo (even though she's got her own 1yo baby brother), but an 11yo boy?
I gotta feel for the kids -- I'm guessing they don't get enough attention from their parents (dad works long hours and mom's a SAHM, and when I sent one kid back to invite her and the baby over, she said that she was busy with the dishes and then had sewing to do). The family is also relatively new to the neighbourhood (moved in less than a year ago), so might not have too many friends yet -- but the kids do go to the local elementary school.
On the other hand, DS seems to be quite amused by them, and always asks "Where [6yo-name] go? Where [11yo-name] go?" when it's time for them to leave. I guess I'd be happy if they didn't come over every single time we're outside. We actually decided to go for a walk in the neighbourhood last night rather than play in our back yard, and when we got home, 6yo was waiting for us in the street outside our yard. Yes, by herself.
Which is my other question -- is a 6yo okay to wander the neighbourhood by herself? She has actually invited herself INTO our house when ds was at my mom's place because she wanted to see it. (I mean, she's safe with us, but how does her mom know that?) And she came over last weekend to see if ds wanted to play -- rang the doorbell during his nap, and woke him up!
Another friend also warned me about liability issues -- if the kids get hurt on my property, it would be my liability. And the 11yo boy likes to throw things up in the air and bounce balls against our stuccoed house -- not an activity that makes me particularly happy. He also kep on hitting an inflatable toy that I had just bought -- after I asked him not to do that.
:
Advice on how to gently set boundaries would be welcome. (And I do think mom is dropping hints to the 6yo -- she told us last night that her mom warned her about being annoying if she came over too much.)
I don't know the mom very well, but she's a good friend of one of my oldest friends, so I don't want to just cut her kids off. But honestly, I'm not their mom (or their babysitter), and I can't see that they're age-appropriate friends for my DS, though they do amuse him, and they do pay attention to him and show him different ways to play with his toys. Also, I'm 7 mos pg now, and losing mobility fast, so having other kids to chase is not a bad thing to use up DS's energy before bedtime. Oi. I guess I'm conflicted.
Other perspectives, thoughts and suggestions are most welcome.
The neighbours live two doors away, and can see into our back yard from their porch. They've got five kids, 1, 6, 11, 15 and 17 (I'm guessing at the ages of the teenagers).
It's the 6yo (girl) and 11yo (boy) who are the subject of my vent. I'm totally feeling stalked by them. Every time we're in our back yard, they head over to play with DS and his toys. I can sort-of see a 6yo wanting to play with my 2yo (even though she's got her own 1yo baby brother), but an 11yo boy?
I gotta feel for the kids -- I'm guessing they don't get enough attention from their parents (dad works long hours and mom's a SAHM, and when I sent one kid back to invite her and the baby over, she said that she was busy with the dishes and then had sewing to do). The family is also relatively new to the neighbourhood (moved in less than a year ago), so might not have too many friends yet -- but the kids do go to the local elementary school.
On the other hand, DS seems to be quite amused by them, and always asks "Where [6yo-name] go? Where [11yo-name] go?" when it's time for them to leave. I guess I'd be happy if they didn't come over every single time we're outside. We actually decided to go for a walk in the neighbourhood last night rather than play in our back yard, and when we got home, 6yo was waiting for us in the street outside our yard. Yes, by herself.
Which is my other question -- is a 6yo okay to wander the neighbourhood by herself? She has actually invited herself INTO our house when ds was at my mom's place because she wanted to see it. (I mean, she's safe with us, but how does her mom know that?) And she came over last weekend to see if ds wanted to play -- rang the doorbell during his nap, and woke him up!
Another friend also warned me about liability issues -- if the kids get hurt on my property, it would be my liability. And the 11yo boy likes to throw things up in the air and bounce balls against our stuccoed house -- not an activity that makes me particularly happy. He also kep on hitting an inflatable toy that I had just bought -- after I asked him not to do that.

Advice on how to gently set boundaries would be welcome. (And I do think mom is dropping hints to the 6yo -- she told us last night that her mom warned her about being annoying if she came over too much.)
I don't know the mom very well, but she's a good friend of one of my oldest friends, so I don't want to just cut her kids off. But honestly, I'm not their mom (or their babysitter), and I can't see that they're age-appropriate friends for my DS, though they do amuse him, and they do pay attention to him and show him different ways to play with his toys. Also, I'm 7 mos pg now, and losing mobility fast, so having other kids to chase is not a bad thing to use up DS's energy before bedtime. Oi. I guess I'm conflicted.
Other perspectives, thoughts and suggestions are most welcome.