Another woman nursing my child

I think we should all be nursing each other's children without any stigmas. However, since it is so far out of most people's idea of what is 'okay' I agree you should have been consulted first. Perhaps your child wanted to comfort nurse after a scrape, or saw the new baby doing it and felt a little jealousy and wanted to be the baby for daddy again. Or, maybe (s)he was just hungry and smelled the milk and rooted and the woman did what instinct dictates. I would think breastmilk could only help with an immune problem (especially from a new mother when the content of breastmilk is highest in helpful antibodis and such), but I do not know anything about them, so I agree if it could cause a problem healthwise, it was not a good idea. Perhaps she is unaware of this? But, from your child's POV, they wanted/needed comfort, food, emotional support and she helped them with that. Sounds to me like she may be pretty cool to have around for your child when (s)he has to visit them. Maybe there is more to this? If your child had to go there for visits, you expect them to feed the child, right? Why is it so different to give them food, depending on what form it takes due to their age? I would be thankful that my child has such a comfort while away from me. I would rest easier knowing there was another lactating female at the other home. In fact, it would allow me to allow visits to a child's father's home without me. As it is now, my dd2 doesn't go anywhere without me, as she is EBF. Now, if you suspect that she is a heroin addict, is taking a prescription MAOI, is on antibiotics, or something of that nature, then it would need to be addressed. Piping in to give my opinion, since it seems to be so different from the other posters. I believe we should be living tribally, with the land and acting as one to raise all the children in our care.

I think that we need to be careful here - everyone nursing everyone's kids - this has implications. If the two mothers know each other very well, know their histories, how many sexual partners they have had in the last year, no sexual diseases, no tatoos, permanent makeup or piercings in the last year, then yeah go ahead if BOTH mothers are consenting however, this is not the case here at all and the ramifications could be extensive regarding the health of the child with an immune dificiency - personally I would contact my lawyer and see where the law stands, also your child is 24 months and would be able to vocalise or at least show you with a doll if her step-mother is nursing her or not, you can also give her the tools to say no, explaining to her simply that you find that it's not appropriate how does she feel about it etc. Good luck.

Just FYI - the antibodies etc in mother's milk is the same for a nursing toddler as it is for a newborn - just more concentrated - this is VERY important to remember when nursing beyond infancy.

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i am not opposed to cross nursing, but to do it without permission is absolutely inexcusable.

one thing, though... tread carefully with your DD on this one. you really don't want to make her feel like she did something "nasty" or "bad" or make her feel shameful. this isn't her fault, but i can see it hurting her, even if you don't want it to.