Mothering Forum banner

1 - 11 of 11 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
925 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I was at Gymboree class today and there was a baby (7-12 mos probably) in the child care room screaming bloody murder for his mom. The room attendant was unsuccessfully trying to comfort him. The mom was in another room with the door shut.<br><br>
All the moms and I (who were on the main floor) should there with our blood pressure rising (crazy how a crying baby will do that), upset because this child was left to scream.<br><br>
So, I told my teacher to go get that mom, the child had screamed long enough. The mom was annoyed she got called out of her class, but I didn't care. Sure enough the poor thing stopped screaming as soon as he was in momma's arms.<br><br>
Sad thing is if I hadn't demanded the mom be called (to get the child), the room attendent would have let the baby scream the whole time. I would freak if I had left my son there and found out he screamed the whole time for me and no one came to get me.<br><br>
ETA: The mom had checked on the baby and knew he was screaming (kinda an important fact!). It is the mom I was more annoyed with, not the attendent (who was holding the baby and seemed concerned that she couldn't calm him down).
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,462 Posts
Oh, as to whether I'd say something, if I used or ever planned to use the childcare there, I"d say something, for sure.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,695 Posts
I would definately say something to someone who could find the mother, because the attendant might be under the assumption that they're supposed to keep the baby no matter how upset he/she is, and the mom could be completely oblivious to the fact that their child was that upset. I would definately want to know if mine was freaking out and couldn't be calmed down.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,427 Posts
<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>maliceinwonderland</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7355940"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I would definately say something to someone who could find the mother, because the attendant might be under the assumption that they're supposed to keep the baby no matter how upset he/she is, and the mom could be completely oblivious to the fact that their child was that upset. I would definately want to know if mine was freaking out and couldn't be calmed down.</div>
</td>
</tr></table></div>
<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/yeahthat.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="yeah that">:<br><br>
I decided what gym I would use when DS was a babe based on whether or not the gym playcare had a policy of getting the mom if/when babe got upset or if they just let the babe cry, even if in arms of a care provider. I was amazed at how many said they'd just wait until mom returned. I was so glad to find the Y because at ours they don't allow babes to cry without parents.<br><br>
Now that I'm at a new gym (we later moved when DS was older), if I'm dropping DS off at the playcare and there's a baby crying I always ask one of the care providers to go into the class or equipment area to check in with the mom, because I would be livid to find out if DS had been crying and not settling and no one had told me. Mom may be OK with it, but she absolutely may not be and either way she should be informed. An inconsolable, without parent babe can also really set off the other babes and small children in care.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
114 Posts
<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/clap.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="clap"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/clap.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="clap"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/clap.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="clap"><br><br>
you did a good thing by demanding they get that mama how in the world could she know her baby was crying and still chose to leave it there...i would be fuming mad at her...
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,980 Posts
I've done the same at our church daycare. DS is fine being left at daycare during the week, but screams bloody murder if we try to leave him in the nursery at church, so normally DH and I split the service and stay with him down there -- he goes to 1/2, I go to 1/2. A couple of times other kids have been totally upset... and after it's gone on for awhile I just gently ask "when do you think it would be a good idea to get their mom?" which normally spurs them to action to do so. I would want to be gotten... but then, if I leave DS and he is crying I wait outside the door a few minutes to see if he stops. I wouldn't just take off completely like some other parents do.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
609 Posts
In this case, I think you did exactly the right thing, but what a weird position to be put in, since it seems like if you hadn't spoken, nothing would have been done. It's strange that a mom would be annoyed at being called back to comfort her child--as though having an inconsolable kiddo is part of the job of the daycare center. If I were leaving my child there, I would probably specify...if you can't get him to calm down in a couple of minutes, please come and get me. (My DS1 did go through a separation anxiety period of time where he would scream when I left him at daycare, but he would stop almost as soon as I was gone, according to my provider.) If a child is being comforted by the caregiver and is still inconsolable, then probably s/he needs Mama.<br><br>
That said, I volunteered in a literacy/parenting support program for young or disadvantaged mothers while I was in college, and I "worked" in the baby room, taking care of the little ones while the mamas were in classes. Although we often had tears, and sometimes even inconsolable tears, we didn't ever go and get the moms because they were in class. A little different than an exercise class, though. Instead, we would hold the babies, rock them, sing to them, distract them, look out the window with them, cuddle them, sing some more--basically do all that we could do besides BEING the mom. I'm sure the sound of our nursery at times would raise any mom's blood pressure, but I still think that it was better for everyone if the moms were in class (in addition to literacy skills, they were being taught parenting skills). In this case, the other caregiver and I both felt competent at soothing strategies, and I think that's part of the difference, too. If the caregiver is not comfortable or feels helpless to comfort the baby, then the mother should definitely come back.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
925 Posts
Discussion Starter · #11 ·
Oh, I totally agree, eli janine. I even had mentioned that to DH when I was talking to him. Gymboree is definitely a luxury so the mom could get the baby. She just took him into class with her and her other child so it didn't really disrupt anything (except our class). But, in a case, where is was more imperative that the mother not be disturbed (like a college class or while at work), then you have to make due.
 
1 - 11 of 11 Posts
Top