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Anti-circ issues at work

879 Views 20 Replies 13 Participants Last post by  Revamp
So about 3 years ago, I worked FT as a teller at a bank. Besides the manager/loan officer who was a 30 y/o man, the rest of the employees at this branch were 20-23 y/o females. None were married, none had kids, ya know typical college girls.
So one morning, the manager comes in and said he wanted to ask me something since we both have sons who were only a year apart (mine 1, his 2 y/o). Im thinking this conversation is going to be about behavior, or eating, or something. He says "my little guys penis is all red, and swollen on the tip, and he crys when I change him, ever had this before?" My first question is, "you mean the glands or the foreskin?" He quickly responds the glads, because hes circ'd. I told him, I have no clue what it is, ask the doc, my little guy is intact. Hes like "Oh, really, WHY?!" at the same time all the girls are like "eww thats wierd, why would you leave that, its so ugly!" Manager walks away, so Im telling the girls that there is no need for it, its not my body to mutilate, and I would never be able to sleep at night if I subjected my son to something so vile. Converstation is dropped, and the day goes on.
Next day, Im fired..why you ask??? Because Im just not fitting in. This is after nearly 6-7 months of good reviews, and nothing but praise. When I asked my boss to be more spacific he told me that "he sleeps just fine at night!" HA! I was pissed, but happy that he obviously didnt sleep well the night before! Anyone else have problems in the work place?
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Wow, I am sorry. I don't know what the laws are in your state, but that is just flat out awful!

My DH was asked once by one of the office workers if we had our son circ'd. He told me, he said something to the effect of "God, NO!" (responding as if she had asked him if we'd had his arm removed or some other insane question). But, he left it at that, not adding anymore.

I kind of wish he had, or at least forwarded her email address to me. He told me after the fact.

And, not wanting to make me upset, waited two weeks to tell me that she went the next week, had her son circ'd (she had not wanted it done...but had people pressuring her) then her son had some complications.

My husband generally doesn't discuss personal matters on work time. Probably why he didn't dive into it. But, what he could have said was "Oh, God No...and we did the research, which overwhelmingly supported our decision". Anything like that might have made her research more...
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Oh my goodness, people are unbelievable

The only person who I remember saying anything was a woman who talked about her grandson while I was pregnant and before I knew the sex of our baby. I was just beginning to investigate circ and mentioned it to her. She told me how bad she felt for her little grandson because he was circ'd and his little penis was so red and painful and he screamed whenever air hit it.
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I haven't had any problems yet, but I'm sure I will. I met my husband at work ,got married still working there and worked all the way to the end of my pregnancy. I actually went into labor at work, so everyone we worked with was very close to us and the baby. Another couple is now pregnant with a little boy and I have called her and asked her about Circ. She plans to do it and we kind of ended the conversation on a bad note. I later called her husband and he just fell back on "I want him to look like me".
My husband no longer works there and I won't return for 7 more month's, but I am sure that there will be talk!! Especially since I will probably cut my relationship with this couple.
What happened to you sound illegal. I'm no expert, but that doesn't sound right. Any thought about getting an editorial going in your home towns paper?

Originally Posted by Telle Bear
What happened to you sound illegal. I'm no expert, but that doesn't sound right. Any thought about getting an editorial going in your home towns paper?
If you're in an at-will employment state, it's not illegal. You can be fired for any reason or no reason, as long as it's not a protected-class issue, and parents of intact boys aren't a protected class. Too bad.
That just stinks. It's unbelievable that you'd be fired over that! I don't think my son's intact penis is something I'll discuss at work now.

It DOES seem like that would be illegal, but the previous poster is right, it's not a protected class, so anything goes. Perhaps it's all for the best anyway... is that REALLY a place you'd like to work!? I know I wouldn't want to work for someone who'd fire me over my son's intact penis!!
Yes, Wisconsin is an at-will state. What they did is perfectly legal, although I can say I didnt feel bad that they were forced to pay my unemployment! They actually tried to deny it, and when WI unemployment investigated the situation they were forced to pay me, because it was not an ethical reason to fire me. I found a job a month later, working for a younger couple that were wonderful. They always had their small children in the office, and would watch my son some days so I didnt have to pay for daycare.
Hmm my at work experiences, the woman I hated working with the most left all three of her sons intact because she was persuaded by her ob. This was back in the 70s in rural arizona, I was impressed by that. She was lazy and aggrivating to work with but I always had a soft spot for her. hah

The other time circ came up was on our surgery schedule there was a 60 year old man on the list for a circ. And someone mentioned it and said "thats odd, getting circed at 60" and I said, "yeah I feel bad for him, its most likely because this country has no idea how to deal with the intact penis" I got some weird looks and one girl said something like "the boy will thank you for it when hes 16" and I said "he will thank me for allowing him to have such a great sex life". Granted it was a stupid comeback, I wasnt really prepaired and she was talking about my son's sex life. But I think most of them know I am anti RIC and if anyone gets preggo with a boy I WILL be having that convo with them.
I dont think you got what I meant. I did NOT tell my boss he was unethical or anything of the sort, nor did I tell the other employees he was bad. I simply stated why I chose to leave me son intact. If you ask me it was more rediculous for the other employees to tell me my sons natural body was nasty, and ugly.
I guess we agree to disagree?
I thank GOD I live in CA!!! That would be illegal in this far as I know. I can't be fired from my job either, I'm a sub-contractor. We don't really talk about these issues at work among eachother, but I do talk about it with clients on occasion. I have to be a bit careful, as I have lost clients in the past from controversial conversation. I try to keep it as professional as income depends on it.
...and FYI, it's glans...not glands.
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Sue for wrongful termination!... oh never mind, read your other posts!

Hes like "Oh, really, WHY?!"
Because I wouldn't want what's happening to your son now to ever happen to mine
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Originally Posted by maxmama
If you're in an at-will employment state, it's not illegal. You can be fired for any reason or no reason, as long as it's not a protected-class issue, and parents of intact boys aren't a protected class. Too bad.
Here, whether you're in full-time or part-time work (anything except casual), by law you must have a Contract of Employment with all requirements of both employer and employee clearly stated and signed.

Katie, can't you take your employer to tribunal for unfair dismissal? What you suffered was surely illegal??


Originally Posted by Lara vanÆsir
Word your conversation so that a question is posed, and let them silently answer it themselves.
This has always been my approach, it puts the ball in their court and makes them attempt to answer some tough questions. For example; "It's cleaner" "How is it cleaner? What is it you think you have to do to keep an intact penis clean?"

"A foreskin is gross" "Have you ever seen one or experienced one?" "Did you know that most intact penises look just like circumcised penises when erect?"

Force them to explain themselves because usually, they are just repeating, without having done ANY research, what they've "heard".
Frenchie..Glans, right
: LOL I get ahead of myself when I type sometimes.

Islay, nope, MOST employment in my state is at-will. They can fire me for whatever they want, just the same as I can just not show up one day. The only way I could sue them is if they tried to say I did something that I didnt do. Like say they said I stole, or broke a law, and I didnt, and they cant prove it, then I could sue. I looked into it after the whole incident and essentially what they did was legal. Besides the fact, I dont know what the statute of limitations is, but it is probably far exceeded by now. It was an unfortunate incident, but honestly I wasnt going to sit their and let them tell me what I did was wrong and discusting.
It doesnt surprise me that they reacted the way they did, the circ rate in my state/area is so high. Besides 2 of my guy friends, and my step dad, I dont know of anyone else who is intact. I didnt even know any of them were, until we left DS intact, and I was praised by all 3 of them.
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Wow...They never even mentioned it when you were making "Your" decision...
Revamp, you mean the intact men in my life?
No, they never mentioned it, because I never mentioned it..I didnt even look into circ much before I had DS..I knew the basics, certainly hadnt seen a vid or anything, but DH and I both just knew we werent going to do it. My mom didnt even know we hadnt done it until she visited in the hospital, and changed his diaper. She was like, oh they didnt circ him yet? I was like, nope, and he wont be.

I saw it as our business, not anyone elses.
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