[naturesbabies]

I need a working mom's perspective. I've been home with my son since he was born (10 months.) I'm really WANTING to go back to work full time and I already have 2 job offers. We need the money but we would also make due without it. We're kinda used to being broke and we just make it work I'm trying to decide if I should take one of these full time jobs I've been offered. Daycare would be close to my job and my husbands job so we would car pool. I might also be able to leave during lunch for a nursing break, but I don't know if that would make it worse on my son or not.

Working mamas... what would you do? Do you feel like your kids get enough time with you? I really don't want to make a mistake with this.

 

[MeepyCat]

Have you made a budget? In your shoes, that would be the first thing I would do. Look at your expenses and income now, and what the expenses and income would be if you were working. If you are going to work, it's important that any job offer you take actually be a good offer. You need to come out ahead at the end of the day.

Do my kids get enough time with me? (Has anyone asked your husband this question? Is he going around in guilt-tripped circles about how much of your child's infancy he's missing?) Here's the thing - if I say yes, I sound like a heartless goon, and if I say no, I encourage people not to make the choice I made, and the choice I made was, fundamentally, a choice about taking care of my children. There 168 hours in a week, and even the best of daycares isn't open for more than 60 of them. Usually less. There will be plenty of time left over for you to spend with your child even if you make maximum use of daycare.

Sometimes, the best way to take care of our children is to do it personally. Sometimes, the best way to take care of our children is to find good childcare arrangements and go to work. You have to figure out what works for your family.

Daycare was a really important part of my village when my kids were small. They made it possible for me to study and work. They got our family through some serious medical crises. A good child care situation can do amazing things for families.

 

[salr]

Sounds like you can't really make a mistake. If you take a job and it ends up not being right, you can quit. You have the benefit of being sure that you can survive without having a job.

The fact that you really want to go to work full time takes care of a big part of the equation. If I felt satisfaction from my job, I'd be happy with my choice to work full time. For me personally, I think working part time would be ideal. But that doesn't make financial sense for me because I would earn just enough to pay for daycare.

 

[salr]

Also, I pumped for a really long time and have continued breastfeeding way beyond that. Nursing and bed sharing has been an important part of me bonding with my kids while working full time. If I would not have done either of those things I personally would have not been happy spending so much time away from my kids, because it is hard to get quality time in the evening. I'm sure other people have other special routines and quality time that satisfies them.

 

[lauren]

I agree that cosleeping when the babies were young helped with this feeling a lot.

What type of work do you do and is it career oriented? You describe a financial situation where it could go either way---so are the jobs you've been offered exciting to you? Can you see them being career building, or is it just about getting a little break in your tight budget?

I'm not quite hearing where you "the woman" (as opposed to "the mom") are at with regard to going back to work.

Plenty of us make it work in one way or another, in ways that are still good for our families, so it is not an 'either-or' situation. You don't damage your children if you go to work! :wink:

 

[RalphXhoff]

As a working woman you will find it difficult to manage both your kid and profession but it's not that difficult if you are willing to make up your mind. I'm a working woman but I really have a great time with my family. I'm able to find space for my kid and family after returning home. I found it hectic in the beginning but since I was forced to continue my career due to several economic reasons I was able to acclimatize myself. Leave behind your stress and tension in your work place and never carry them home. This is the first step to be a successful working mother.

 

[jhtl2008]

Leaving baby is always hard in the beginning but it does get easier!! For me, i enjoy my work and its something that helps me stay sane