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I am 13w3d pregnant. And I am starting to feel like I made a huge mistake in feeling like I "had it together" enough to start a family. I have dealt with anxiety and some depression since I was 12, but it was always in short episodes (less than 6 months) with several years in between, so I've never been treated or seen a professional about it. Mostly because I truly believed I could deal with this as a strictly "mind over matter" issue.<br><br>
Now I am 27 and pregnant, and the anxiety and obsessive worries and resulting depression (because I can't control it and just lead a normal life) feels like it is getting out of control. I have been having this anxiety episode off and on for the last year, but it seemed under control when we started TTC. I am scared that my anxiety is harming the baby, and I am terrified of PPD after the baby is born. I hate the idea of taking medication for several different reasons, and I haven't really talked to DH about it because I don't want to look weak, and I don't want him to have to feel like he has to take care of me on top of everything else going on in our lives.<br><br>
I feel lost and worried and I don't know what to do. If anyone has any experience with this, encouragement or advice, I would really appreciate it.
 

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Beth - don't be afraid to talk to your husband and your doctor/midwife. Sometimes the benefits of medication outweigh any risks and there are a few anti-depressants that are safe for pregnancy.<br>
This is such a special time in your life...you need to enjoy it as much as you can. Anxiety and depression can be debilitating and throw in an overload of hormones and misery is bound to happen.<br>
I have suffered off and on from depression most of my adult life with short episodes such as you describe. Some have been bad enough that I did take meds and I can tell you...the difference was amazing. That is of course my experience and everyone is different but know that you aren't alone and you can get help. Talk to someone.<br><br>
Oh and many, many congratulations!
 

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There are other, nonmedicated, ways to cope!<br><br>
I am bipolar... but I do not take medication for it while pregnant. Horrible! I know... it gets bad at times... but Ive learned over time and help with my doctor to watch for the signs of going manic or depressive and take the appropriate steps to help.<br><br>
Exercise is #1 help! Oh my goodness does it help! If you were exercising while TTC and sort of let go of it once you got pregnant that right there could explain all of this!<br><br>
Just a one-mile walk per night was enough to keep me functioning most days. Sure, I had days where I just couldnt even bring myself to do it... but I had motivation in the form of two children and a fiance who all knew how much happier I was if I walked and would get me to do it.<br><br>
I cant do that now, due to my SPD... a mile is too far. But I still get outside and get active with the kids. I cant run around with them and chase them down due to the pain, but I can stand there and play catch and when it starts to hurt, sit down and play fetch (yes, I play fetch with my kids. I throw a frisbee, they chase it down. they love it!)<br><br>
Also, watching what I eat is a huge help. Junk food is a huge bad mood trigger for me and its a downward spiral... if I eat it for lunch im going to feel so crappy by supper that I eat it then too. I dont eat whole foods... or organic... or any of that. I mean, if I did I would probably feel WAY better but its a bit of a hassle in my area to go out of my way to eat like that. I do buy from the local farmers market... and actually consider that a guilty pleasure (the prices are somewhat high) but oh its soo tasty lol.<br><br>
Oddly, also, staying regular somehow helps. I have IBS which was controlled with diet for the year leading up to getting pregnant but with the pregnancy hormones raging through me, diet isnt helping so I have to drink a lot of water and get enough fiber. My doctor just has me taking benefiber so no matter what food fiber Im getting I know I get enough... (and thank goodness I really cant taste benefiber because it just sounds like it would taste so icky!)<br><br>
Also... journaling! Getting out my emotions helps. Whether its a journal, diary, blog or a friend with infinite patience who will sit there and listen to you and understand that you ARENT whining but rather getting your feelings out of your system so you feel better (those friends are rare that truely understand that) it will help, even if just a little in addition to the other things that work.<br><br>
I suppose there are also herbs and suppliments and such that help too... but all that I just typed (a novel, it seems!) have helped me so much that... while I still get my doubts about the pregnancy, they are totally HEALTHY doubts and not something I sit and worry over for hours.
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> mama.<br><br>
I've struggled with anx/depression a lot of my life as well and have often had a similar approach/feelings about it that you do. I feel like I've reached a point in my life, now, where I have finally gotten things under control, so here are just some of my thoughts on the subject.<br><br>
1. Accept the fact that its something that you have to deal with. I totally agree with mind over matter in lots of instances, but anx/depression in ANY degree is an illness. Just like you might suffer from headaches every now and then or have an old knee injury that flares up. That doesn't make you weak, nor does it release you from having to function in this world, but just as you might need to ice your knee here and there or take some tylenol for your headaches now and then, sometimes you are going to have to take some extra measures to deal with how you feel. THATS OK.<br><br>
2. Its GREAT that you seem to be aware of where you stand with it. You know its not good for you now. You know its getting to a point of concern. There are lots of people who don't have that level of insight. You are already ahead of the game.<br><br>
3. There are a MILLION natural approaches to dealing with it. Here are some things that work for me.<br><br>
-regular exercise<br>
-limited sugar<br>
-at least 1-2 grams of fish oil daily.<br>
-cod liver oil<br>
-Sam-E when things are feeling extra out of control<br>
-daily serving of rich leafy greens OR nettles tea<br>
-talking to people about it(sometimes we just need to get out of our heads)<br>
-Maca can be really great for that energy lull that comes with depression.<br><br>
As for PPD, I don't know what kind of care provider you are working with, but most midwives will have a million tricks up their sleeves to stave off PPD naturally. A top one that people swear by is placenta encapsulation. Maca is also great and Milk Thistle can be good for dealing with anxiety.<br><br>
Last pregnancy for me, I was on a low dose of Wellbutrin. I feel even better this go round with the natural approach. BUT, there are lots of women who need pharmaceutical help. My son is PERFECTLY healthy and if you find you need that extra boost from an anti-depressant, don't worry about it. Your babe, inside and outside the womb, needs a mama who is happy more than anything. Do what you need to do to get there. And in the meantime, be easy on yourself, ok?<br><br>
Take care and hope this helps!
 

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I can understand your feelings so much! Not wanting to put a burden on your husband, ect. This is my second pregnancy with anti-depressant medications. I actually weaned myself off of them about 6 months prior to getting pregnant (including the anxiety medications I was taking that my dr. says is not safe during pregnancy) but once I was pregnant again the depression has come on so much stronger. I just can't function without medication unfortunately.<br><br>
Don't suffer silently mama. Mamas here have great ideas that are natural that perhaps you'd feel more comfortable trying as a first line defense... and if you are just having such a hard time functioning that even those steps feel huge and impossible there are several anti-depressants that are safe during pregnancy. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>StarMama</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/15456096"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Don't suffer silently mama. Mamas here have great ideas that are natural that perhaps you'd feel more comfortable trying as a first line defense... and if you are just having such a hard time functioning that even those steps feel huge and impossible there are several anti-depressants that are safe during pregnancy. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"></div>
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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/yeahthat.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="yeah that"><br><br>
if the natural help (exercise, diet, etc.) does not help... taking the meds does NOT make you a bad momma, it makes you a good one for getting the help you need!
 

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Talking to a doctor does not mean you will have to take meds. That part is totally up to you. Sometimes, just talking and developing other coping strategies is just as good. Sometimes meds can help you get over the hump so you can start developing healthy coping strategies in the first place.<br><br>
I have a similar situation as you. Have suffered depression beginning in puberty, and it has come and gone ever since. I had a horrible time after DS2 was born. I never did seek help, but I should have. I am having a hard time again, and I realize it is just time to talk to someone. I also haven't described the full extent of what I am feeling to my DH. I guess I'm worried he'll pass it off as hormonal, or it will feel like there is extra pressure being placed on him. We are under a lot of pressure right now as a family, especially him. I usually talk to him about everything.<br><br>
Anyway, for the both of us, I hope we can make that first brave step to just let someone in on how we are feeling. I don't like the idea of meds, but I am beginning to think--after my postpartum experience with DS2--that the benefits may out weight the risks at this point. Good luck, mama.
 

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<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>StarMama</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/15456096"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Don't suffer silently mama. Mamas here have great ideas that are natural that perhaps you'd feel more comfortable trying as a first line defense... and if you are just having such a hard time functioning that even those steps feel huge and impossible there are several anti-depressants that are safe during pregnancy. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"></div>
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>MaerynPearl</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/15456300"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/yeahthat.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="yeah that"><br><br>
if the natural help (exercise, diet, etc.) does not help... taking the meds does NOT make you a bad momma, it makes you a good one for getting the help you need!</div>
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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/yeahthat.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="yeah that"> to Mae's <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/yeahthat.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="yeah that"><br><br>
I take tons of prescription medication for a wide variety of health issues, not the least of which is my depression, anxiety, and OCD.<br><br>
My anxiety drug is one of the two most dangerous meds out of all of mine, but for me the risks outweigh the benefits. I have to take it. It's a fact of life for me.<br><br>
I was worried over the reception I would get over this myself, so - very teneatively - I started a thread about the matter. It can be found <a href="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/showthread.php?t=1225027" target="_blank">here</a>. It helped me so much to find other people working through the same issues as me.<br><br>
If you want to try and control it naturally, then by all means - go ahead! If you decide on medication then so be it. It's <i>your</i> decision, no one else's and <b>no one</b> has the right to make you feel bad for keeping yourself healthy for you and your baby.<br><br>
I hope things work out for you and congratulations on your pregnancy!<br><br>
And if you ever want to talk about depression then I'm more than willing to listen. It's a monster to fight, I know. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/hug2.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Hug2">
 

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during my first pregnancy, I didn't realize I was depressed, but I was pretty miserable, I had bad morning sickness, real bad, I hated my job, and I was very upset that I wasn't this happy glowing yoga peaceful earth mama I thought I would be. I was sweaty, pukey, swollen huge and miserable. I did suffer from PPD about 4 months after the baby was born, at least that was when I got medication. I needed it.<br><br>
It took me 3 years to want to have another child, and at 8 weeks, I feel the same crappy feelings. I do not deal with morning sickness well, and I haven't left the house except for things I have to do. I think I am going to search out support groups in my area to find other women who have depression during pregnancy<br><br>
It's hard because everyone believes you should be happy and joyous, but I think with me, the severe morning sickness with no end date, the constant hunger and having to rest adds to it. I don't think it's being weak to say you have depression, I truly believe that it's medical or chemical, and if that is the case, then you really can't control it. It's biological with some chemical in your body that does something that you can't control. You can help alleviate it and treat it, but I think it's something that you will need help and ideas from different sources. I have battled with depression all my life, and sometimes I needed medication and sometimes just journaling or read self help books helped.<br><br>
Anyway that is my thoughts. You are not alone, it is real and common, I think March of Dimes says something like 1 and 4 or 1 and 5 women have it.
 

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I just wanted to echo the idea that there are natural options that you can try, and that if they don't help and you need more, don't be afraid to deal with it. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"><br><br>
Fish oil is VERY helpful - researched and documented as being so for a variety of mood disorders. Different brands offer different potencies (I prefer Nordic Naturals and get the one with the highest concentration I can find), but no matter what you get you can check the label and ensure you're getting 3g of EPA per day. On the ones I take, that's equivalent to 3 "serving size" or doses. With a less concentrated one, you may be taking more pills (softgels). You can also get liquid.<br><br>
I have struggled with anxiety that can, at times, be pretty crippling. I found a product that my MW has approved for me to take while pg called MoodFix by NaturalCare. It's a mix of homeopathics and herbals and has had a very quick effect on my anxiety. Generally one or two doses is enough, and I don't take it regularly. But, you absolutely could if needed.<br><br>
GABA is also a fantastic supplement for times when you are stressed or feel like you can't take it anymore. I am grateful to not have needed it too much lately, but I would take it when I felt like people's words were like rocks hitting me, or that I was totally overloaded (I was dealing with sensory overload, for sure) and couldn't cope with all of it anymore. Even my DH, who tends to be very short-tempered these days, does really well after a dose of GABA Calm (I think that one's by Source Naturals).<br><br>
While your pregnant, look into options for consuming your placenta after the birth. I know that sounds pretty squicky to most, but you can have it dried and encapsulated (what I'm planning on this time), or, you can find recipes for consuming raw placenta. Consuming it is said to have a strong affect on hormones after the birth, including staving off PPD. I, for one, am willing to take the pills and see if it works in order to avoid the mood swings I had last time!<br><br>
The best thing you can do for your baby is to take care of yourself. I hope you find things that help you, and feel better soon. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">
 

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<p>I suffer from depression and anxiety and I'm 4 months pregnant with my second child. I've had depression for a long time since early 20's and developed anxiety about a year ago. Cymbalta really helped up till about a month ago when I weaned off per my Dr. I've been having symptoms lately and have been wrestling with what to do. go back on Cymbalta, try something else that is more approved for use during pregnancy or just tough it out. I have alot going on at home, I have a full time job, a 2 year old in the throws of the 'terrible two's", and we're buying a new home.</p>
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<p>It's really not easy suffering with depression/anxiety and being pregnant. You wrestle with what's best for your child and getting threw each day. It's really really hard. Especially for me the mornings are the worst. I totally feel what you're going through but you're not alone. I find some solace in just know I'm not alone. </p>
 
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