[sarahr]

My DD has started this nasty habit of picking at her lip. It started when her lips got chapped and she would pick until they bled. Now, thanks to lansinoh, her lips are much, much better, but she still picks at them constantly. If she's not picking at her lips, she's picking at her chin or cheeks. When I see it, I'll remind her to stop -- sometimes she will, but most often she says "no" and goes right back to it.

I went with her to an indoor playspace, where instead of playing like the other kids she just stood there and watched and picked at her face. If she was doing this as an older child I would definitely think there was something wrong.

Isn't she too young to be a compulsive picker for psychological reasons? Could she be as anxious as she looks? Any suggestions?

 

[meemee]

this is me. based on my experience with my dd.

i definitely feel kids feel anxiety and what you suspect in older chldren you certainly can expect in little ones too. in hindsight i feel my dd had anxiety even as a baby. a newborn.

for my dd it is constant stomach pains. it is a sign for me to understand she has anxiety about something. what it is i might not find out. or even she might not know.

in a sense i am grateful for those tummy aches. it makes me realise she is under stress.

i want you to also explore your feelings around this. the way you have worded this sounds like you disapprove of the action. that would add to ur dd's stress if indeed it is so. figure out ur feelings around this.

what can you do? either work on it or if you feel she is too 'closed' the anxiety is too high forget it. she is too overwhelmed to work on it.

maybe you could lead and ask her why dont we ..... and see what she does.

if you have a ped. i would definitely ask him.

here's my other take. i feel psychological problems in kids are v. underrated. one of hte problems is - ok the 3 month old has anxiety. what do we do about it. so there is soooo little studies done in kids. some are just coming out now but they were studies that were an offshoot of another study. kinda a side effect of a different study.

which is why mama's gut instinct is the key. always the mama knows there is something off.

chewing on the shirt collars - same thing.

then there is the nerves condition called sensory processing disorder where you seek sensation or too sensationed out - a temporary or an 'able to contol' condition. again that itself can bring up anxiety. my dd was sensation craving. not letting her walk barefoot was a cause of high anxiety. because i could recognise something was off i let her do it, and she outgrew it around 5. even as a newborn she could not tolerate anything on her feet or for that matter her body.

if you suspect something talk to ur ped. he may not be able to say anything, or he may be able to guide you. at the very least you could write down teh instances when seh picks and write all details and maybe you could see teh pattern.

 

[gretelmom]

I wish I had great advice, but I just wanted to say I've been through this with my now 4 yo DS. He has always been very sensitive, gentle, thoughtful. He chews his nails and also has some bowel issues.

The only advice we took that helped, for us (each kid is so different), was to talk a lot about our feelings, talk about what happened that day that made us happy, made us sad, made us nervous, and how the nerves or sad feelings got resolved (always give it a resolution if you can)... The other thing is if there's a major thing you see causing anxiety, make a book WITH dc about the situation. We had problems with hospitals after a car accident in which DH and i were both taken on backboards and DS rode in teh ambulance with us. We made a book about the crash, but focused the book on how the doctors made us feel better, how DS got to play with the sink and beds in the rooms, and how his uncle came to be with him at the hospital while DH and i were being treated. The end of the book was about going home and being happy and doing happy things.

Hope something in there helps, if not just know it will be okay, DS is still very cautious but much less anxious. It's a part of being 2 or 2.5 yo, they see the world as so big and outside their control (IMHO).

j