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Hello Mamas,<br>
We recently went through a situation where my 4 year old daughter required hospitalization for 3 nights. We also have a 7 y.o. ds, 2 y.o. ds and 6 week old ds. My 7 y.o. has had some issues adjusting to the new baby mainly I think because he's in school all day and misses a lot of the fun preschool activities we do as well as time with the new baby whom he adores.<br><br>
The most intense rivalry we have is between the 7 y.o. ds and 4 y.o dd. Then dd was hospitalized so she's getting lots of attention, either myself or dh are with with her at the hospital 24/7 and then she comes home yesterday with flowers, gifts and little goodies from the children's hospital.<br><br>
So my son had a complete meltdown. We could see it coming and it's been building somewhat since the baby was born and was just compounded his sister's hospitalization.<br><br>
I made point to play a board game with just him (and nursing infant) and that seemed to help tremendously. My assumption is that his reaction is totally normal but it was bigger and more intense than I expected. Lot's of "you don't love me...you act like you do but I know you don't, I've always known you don't really love me. I must be adopted" He's pretty emotionally sensitive so I worry about him. There's a small chance his sister may require further treatment for potentially major heart damage. We won't know for sure until she gets re-checked in 6 weeks. If that happens, I could use your expertise in how to balance the needs of the other kids. Especially my oldest son.<br><br>
Thanks for reading...sorry to be so wordy
 

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I think a lot of it is normal between sibblings. Mine do the same thing.<br><br>
We started instituting mommy and daddy dates. When Dh and I leave the house for something we take one child by themselves for a mommy or daddy date. That child often gets a treat while we are out and gets to help with errands. They all take turns and it helps them feel special.<br><br>
I think its probably hardest for the oldest child. As the oldest they usually need less direct help to do things and are more independant. Its easy to forget just how much time they still need from us. I think making a mental note to go out of your way to comment on what they are doing and take a few moments for *just* them more often could make a big difference.
 
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