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<p>I was thinking that maybe we could all post a list of the books that have been helpful to us in repairing/understanding the damage done from abuse.  Or if anyone has suggestions for good books on depression and healing, that would be helpful to me, too.</p>
 

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The books I've found most helpful are:<br><br><a class="bbcode_url" href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/redirect.html?ie=UTF8&linkCode=ur2&camp=1789&creative=9325&tag=motheringhud-20&location=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.amazon.com%2FToxic-Parents-Overcoming-Hurtful-Reclaiming%2Fdp%2F0553381407" target="_blank">Toxic Parents: Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your Life</a> by Susan Forward<br><br><a class="bbcode_url" href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/redirect.html?ie=UTF8&linkCode=ur2&camp=1789&creative=9325&tag=motheringhud-20&location=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.amazon.com%2FEmotional-Blackmail-People-Obligation-Manipulate%2Fdp%2F0060928972" target="_blank">Emotional Blackmail: When the People in Your Life Use Fear, Obligation, and Guilt to Manipulate You</a> by Susan Forward<br><br><a class="bbcode_url" href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/redirect.html?ie=UTF8&linkCode=ur2&camp=1789&creative=9325&tag=motheringhud-20&location=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.amazon.com%2FMending-Soul-Understanding-Healing-Abuse%2Fdp%2F0310285291" target="_blank">Mending the Soul: Understanding and Healing Abuse</a> by Steven R. Tracy<br><br><a class="bbcode_url" href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/redirect.html?ie=UTF8&linkCode=ur2&camp=1789&creative=9325&tag=motheringhud-20&location=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.amazon.com%2FNarcissistic-Family-Diagnosis-Treatment%2Fdp%2F0787908703" target="_blank">The Narcissistic Family: Diagnosis and Treatment</a> by Stephanie Donaldson-Pressman and Robert M. Pressman<br><br><a class="bbcode_url" href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/redirect.html?ie=UTF8&linkCode=ur2&camp=1789&creative=9325&tag=motheringhud-20&location=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.amazon.com%2Fgp%2Fproduct%2FB003E7ET1C" target="_blank">Will I Ever Be Good Enough?: Healing the Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers</a> by Karyl McBride<br><br><a class="bbcode_url" href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/redirect.html?ie=UTF8&linkCode=ur2&camp=1789&creative=9325&tag=motheringhud-20&location=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.amazon.com%2FUnderstanding-Borderline-Mother-Unpredictable-Relationship%2Fdp%2F0765703319" target="_blank">Understanding the Borderline Mother: Helping Her Children Transcend the Intense, Unpredictable, and Volatile Relationship</a> by Christine Ann Lawson<br><br><a class="bbcode_url" href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/redirect.html?ie=UTF8&linkCode=ur2&camp=1789&creative=9325&tag=motheringhud-20&location=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.amazon.com%2FDrama-Gifted-Child-Search-True%2Fdp%2F0465012612" target="_blank">The Drama of the Gifted Child: The Search for the True Self</a> by Alice ******<br><br><a class="bbcode_url" href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/redirect.html?ie=UTF8&linkCode=ur2&camp=1789&creative=9325&tag=motheringhud-20&location=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.amazon.com%2FBody-Never-Lies-Lingering-Parenting%2Fdp%2F0393328635" target="_blank">The Body Never Lies: The Lingering Effects of Cruel Parenting</a> by Alice ******<br><br><a class="bbcode_url" href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/redirect.html?ie=UTF8&linkCode=ur2&camp=1789&creative=9325&tag=motheringhud-20&location=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.amazon.com%2FOther-Survival-Signals-Protect-Violence%2Fdp%2F0440508835" target="_blank">The Gift of Fear and Other Survival Signals that Protect Us From Violence</a> by Gavin de Becker<br><br><span style="text-decoration:underline;">Toxic Parents</span> is the one that really changed my perspective and gave me the tools to start disengaging from my abusers. That book changed my life.<br><br><img alt="hug.gif" class="bbcode_smiley" src="http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/hug.gif"><img alt="hug.gif" class="bbcode_smiley" src="http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/hug.gif"><img alt="hug.gif" class="bbcode_smiley" src="http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/hug.gif">
 

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<p>I have read Toxic Parents, and I agree, it was a great read!</p>
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<p>It is in storage now, at the moment.  But it really helped me to understand my Mother.</p>
 

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<p><span style="text-decoration:underline;">Surviving the Borderline Parent</span> was incredibly helpful to me in making sense of my upbringing.</p>
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<p> Sorry for the double post - I couldn't get the underline feature to turn off!</p>
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<p>The book that has helped me most in healing, once I understood what had gone on in my childhood, was <span style="text-decoration:underline;">Trauma and Recovery</span> by Judith Herman.</p>
 

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<p> <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/redirect.html?ie=UTF8&linkCode=ur2&camp=1789&creative=9325&tag=motheringhud-20&location=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.amazon.com%2Fgp%2Fsearch%2Fref%3Dsr_nr_scat_2329094011_ln%3Frh%3Dn%253A283155%252Ck%253AThe%2Blanguage%2Bof%2Bletting%2Bgo%252Cp_lbr_one_browse-bin%253AMelody%2BBeattie%26keywords%3DThe%2Blanguage%2Bof%2Bletting%2Bgo%26ie%3DUTF8%26qid%3D1289771081%26scn%3D2329094011%26h%3D51d7e5c24f7ff881f48845092d493223ed586bbb" rel="norewrite" target="_blank">Melody Beattie</a> is a good read.  The Language of Letting Go is a small daily reader with different thoughts to focus on healing.  Co-Dependent No More is good.  And I saw that she has a book on Grief.... I might look for that.  I'm grieving too. <img alt="hug.gif" src="http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/hug.gif"></p>
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<p>Apart from the ones in the cticky resources I really like "Are you the One for Me" by Barbara De Angelis. It's a great assessment of what a healthy relationship should look like.</p>
 

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<p>Ooohhh.... I like Barbara De Angelis too.  I haven't read that one, but I'll keep an eye out for it. </p>
 

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<p>Gen, I also like Melody Beattie. Have you read her book titled: Finding your way home? It's by far my favorite. Maybe I need to re-read that one.</p>
 

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<br><br><div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>Sativarain1</strong> <a href="/community/forum/thread/1279199/any-book-suggestions#post_16048862"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a><br><br><p>Gen, I also like Melody Beattie. Have you read her book titled: Finding your way home? It's by far my favorite. Maybe I need to re-read that one.</p>
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<p>No, I've not read that one either.  Thank you for mentioning it.  It sounds appropriate to what is going on in my life right now.  I will look for it.  </p>
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<p>I'm here to support you also, so feel free to PM at any time for any reason, even if it's to worry or complain.  <span><img alt="hug.gif" src="http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/hug.gif"></span><br>
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<p>Crap, we lost that sticky with all the resources. I hope it's still out there somewhere. That took a long time to compile.</p>
 

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<p>MamaJen it's directly above the posts, I still see it on the main SA board <span><img alt="peace.gif" src="http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/peace.gif" style="width:28px;height:23px;"></span></p>
 

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<p>Oh, cool, thanks for finding that. :)</p>
 

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I wanted to add another title. I couldn't tear myself away from this book and while it wasn't an easy read, simply because it was so triggering and familiar, it was tremendously validating and helpful for me. I hope someone else finds it similarly useful. The author might as well have been an invisible spectator in my parents' home when I was a kid. <img alt="yikes.gif" class="bbcode_smiley" src="http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/yikes.gif"><br><br><a class="bbcode_url" href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/redirect.html?ie=UTF8&linkCode=ur2&camp=1789&creative=9325&tag=motheringhud-20&location=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.amazon.com%2FMy-Parents-Keeper-Emotionally-Disturbed%2Fdp%2F0934986789%2F" target="_blank">My Parent's Keeper: Adult Children of the Emotionally Disturbed</a> by Eva Marian Brown
 

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<p>This isn't related to abuse but I do find that</p>
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<p>Don Miguel Ruiz- The four agreements.</p>
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<p> extremely helpful I had to reread the chapter on not taking what others do/say personally. It's very validating. I think sometimes in abuse we wonder why? why us we only loved that person. But that person abuses which has nothing really to do with us. We are merely in the way, and a target for them to release whatever is inside of them.</p>
<p> </p>
 
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