[dharmama]

There's a nice thread going in I'm pregnant for first-time mamas but now that my dd is here, and I know a few other babes have been born, I was wondering if there is any interest in getting a thread going over here?

I'd love to talk to other first-time mamas about the adjustment to 'life with babe' expecially as mine is S-C-R-E-A-M-I-N-G

right now. Daddy is trying to comfort her because I really NEED a mental health break but I will probably have to swoop in with the magic boobies any minute. I am SO in love with my little girl but OMG...I am SO tired.

~Erin

 

[rainbowmoon]

great thread..my ds is 4 months already! (where did the time go?) it's hard to imagine my old life without him though. I hear you about being tired! gone are the days of sleeping in!

 

[tarahsolazy]

Good idea! My little guy is also almost 4 months, just a day younger than rainbowmoon's. Its hard sometimes, especially since I WOHM, and DH stays home. I get the cranky tired baby some nights, who fusses and nurses, and then fusses some more as mama walks him to sleep. But I love the excited look he gets now when we get ready to nurse, and how he is starting to use his hands for real. And the drooly smiles, and the nighttime cuddles. My friends think I'm nuts, because I don't really want him to "sleep through the night" because I love to nurse him in the moonlight. He is the calmest nurser at night, in the day, he makes it an aerobics session these days, flailing arms and legs. I can't remember life without him, already. I was so sad, overwhelmed, and scared those first weeks, dharmama, so if you're feeling that way, hang in there. Evidently, its normal. And good for you, letting daddy soothe his little one.

 

[Caring Touch]

I would LOVE to join your thread. I am glad you started it. I am a first time Mom and man, am I overwhelmed. The amount of energy I output each day makes me feel like I got hit by a mac truck. My dd is three months old now so I am getting used to it...but we need other women to help figure out this 'natural' process.

If your baby is crying a lot I would HIGHLY suggest getting the book "The Happiest Baby on the Block" by Karp. It was a total lifesaver for me. It gives techniques on how to quiet/comfort your baby.

Good luck and keep us posted.
Caring Touch

 

[Delight]

Hi there! I'd love to join you as well...I was just thinking today that I wanted to start a thread to discuss the "adjustment period into motherhood". My DD, Bella, is 11 weeks...hard to believe! It's going so great so far...in my mind, she is an "easy" baby. Although some probably wouldn't agree! She loves to be held ALL the time. She has just started being content for 10-15 minutes in the bouncy chair...which is wonderful for a little break! My DH is amazing, and is working from home for another month or so...that has been a lifesaver.

The main thing I have to get through my head now is that the house is not going to be perfectly clean/organized/put together all the time. This has been difficult, because when the house is a mess, I feel like my mind is a mess too. I love it when everything is picked up. We just moved into an apt. from a house, so that doesn't make it any easier. I miss my space! How do you guys cope with that? Do you have a system you follow...like, you clean the bathroom on this day, etc...? Don't get me wrong, I'm not a clean freak, I just like things to be organized so I can find stuff!

Can't wait to chat with y'all

 

[Ravin]

Sara, Flylady has some good tips. I adapt them freely. I don't even own shoes. But I like having a shiny sink.

It's so amazing now, DD is so much a part of my life and time is flying by so fast. The days are ticking away until I have to start back to school and leave her for 6 hrs a day. Before I had her I was so sure that the timing would be good, but I can't put it off even though a big part of me wants to and I'm not so sure DD will adapt as easily as everyone else says she will to daycare and being away from me.

Cherish every minute, that's what I keep reminding myself, from the moonlit walks w/ baby who cries and fusses and cries unless in the sling, latched on, with mama walking, to every single smile, raspberry, face wipe on my sleeve telling me it's time to nurse... and cuddles in the morning that soon we won't have the time for.

 

[dharmama]

nak (for the first time!!!!)

Quote:

If your baby is crying a lot I would HIGHLY suggest getting the book "The Happiest Baby on the Block" by Karp. It was a total lifesaver for me. It gives techniques on how to quiet/comfort your baby.

We have the dvd (came free with our snuggle nest - which we've actually never used...mama's chest or in the crook of my arm is the prefered snuggle spot). This weekend DH recorded the "soothing womb sounds" onto a tape so we have it in the car!

Quote:

The main thing I have to get through my head now is that the house is not going to be perfectly clean/organized/put together all the time. This has been difficult, because when the house is a mess, I feel like my mind is a mess too. I love it when everything is picked up.

I'm right there w/ ya. am NOT an organized person - never have been - but I SO want to have my house at least a little organized so I can feel comfortable and relaxed.

I made a list of things that need to be done and I'm trying to do just one thing a day (more if I can).

Today my mission is to call pedi's and/or family dr's. We saw who I thought was going to be Lily's pedi on Friday but we are so NOT going back there! (I posted a thread about it - pedi did not wash hands

)

Great to talk with you all!

~Erin

 

[rainbowmoon]

joyfulmama-i know how that is wanting to keep things straightened up/cleaned..I had a really hard time w/ this after my c/s when I couldn't barely lift a finger for weeks..anyhow it kind of taught me to surrender to the process a bit..my system is easy now..I keep the dishes, counters & bathrooms cleaned at all times and I do laundry/deeper/etc cleaning on certain scheduled days. I don't always get things done if ds is fussy or what not but I try my best..luckily DH helps alot, though I have to make him a list or he'll forget! btw do you sling your babe? that helps me alot getting things done around the house..(we use a moby wrap) and ds loves when we go do *chores* now..lol..

dharmama-hope you have better luck w/ your new pedi..i read your thread and must admit I have reacted the same way in a similair situation (not w/ a pedi though but a family member) sticking thier finger in ds mouth! ugh!

Ravin- I can sooo relate to time passing quickly! i must admit I stay awake many nights just drinking in ds babyness..oh how I love those sweet moments when the house is still and nothing else matters in the world but my sweet baby..

 

[tammylc]

Here's another first time mama joining in.

I had a hard time adjusting at first to the loss of any time to myself and really wasn't liking being a mom. I'm feeling much better about it all now, but in the early days it was really tough.

If anyone else is feeling like that, or knows someone who is, I highly recommend the book Mother Shock. It compares the experience of becoming a first time mom to the experience of going through culture shock, and then has a series of amusing essays from the various stages of acclimating. I really enjoyed it and found it really helpful to know I wasn't a) alone in feeling this way and b) some sort of mutant woman who didn't instantly fall in love with her baby the way she was "supposed" to.

 

[VBMama]

Another first-time mama here.

Ds is five months today and it feels like I am finally settling into this new life as a mama, but the adjustment has been slow & rocky at times. I'm absolutely in love with my son, but I miss my old freedom to do a lot of the things by which I used to define myself. I picked my screen name purposely before ds was born to remind myself that eventually I will be able to play volleyball (my passion) again.

Quote:

Originally Posted by tammylc I had a hard time adjusting at first to the loss of any time to myself and really wasn't liking being a mom. I'm feeling much better about it all now, but in the early days it was really tough. If anyone else is feeling like that, or knows someone who is, I highly recommend the book Mother Shock.

tammylc, I am going to go request that book from my library right now, I could use some reading like that. One of the hardest adjustments for me was coming to the realization that there is NEVER any time off from being the mom. Including while sleeping, since we cosleep. Okay, so obviously I knew that going in

, but living it is a different story. And I'm in a much better place now, but yes, those first few months were really, really tough.

Anyone find their relationship with dh/dp changed since becoming a mama?

 

[TurboClaudia]

warm hugs to all you first-time mamas!

Tomorrow will be three weeks since our baby boy's birthday, and it's also the day that we are finally down to a houseful of just us three. We've had family here since the end of May (first my sister for three weeks, then my mom for two and half weeks, with my dad coming in for the last week). I'm a little worried about how I will handle doing things by myself without another person to hand him off to when I want to take a shower or make some lunch or whatever. Bill's been back at work since last Monday, and he has a big deadline this week since we are going away to California for my friends' wedding next week so I know he has to get things done. I guess I will call on all those friends who made offers to help if I need it.

At the same time, I'm kind of looking forward to having our home back to ourselves again. I know I will miss the extra hands and the cleaning that was just magically done, and I know that every day with our baby will be different but so far he's been very easy to take care of. Fitting our life together with his might even be easier than I thought it would be. I remember my friend who has a 9-month old telling me when he was a month-old that she kept expecting him to be more challenging, that she expected to have breastfeeding issues, to have sleep issues, etc., because she is also a birth and postpartum doula and she has all this training which she would finally get to put into good use. But she said he was doing great with nursing, great with sleeping, and she was doing great with her return to pre-pregnancy health and it was a happy thing. I also feel that way, like maybe I was expecting it to be really hard but now I'm pleasantly surprised by how I've been able to start the transition to motherhood relatively easily.

Hey, I noticed that a few of you are also in Oregon. We're just west of Portland and I'd love to plan a get-together of first-time mamas with their babes and their partners for late this summer. Anyone interested?

Lunch calls...

warmly,
claudia

 

[MaxiMom]

Hi Mamas!

Isn't it the greatest thing you've ever done? Do any of you ever want to tell every woman to have a baby of their own? And, do you ever just want the baby to fall asleep again so you can get something done?

My ds is 5months old and is the dearest thing to my heart. He's so big, I have him in a bjorn (he's asleep in it right now) and lately he has figured out he can look up at me while he's in it. It is soooo cute.

I often wondered how I would manage all of this, but my dh tells me what a wonderful mother I am, so that helps a lot. There have been some frustrating nights and short remarks to dh, but overall we're adapting well.

I wince every time I walk by the laundry room and our spare room (which has become an extended closet!), but I'm dealing better with not having everything just so, like I'm used to. If the dishes sit for a day, they sit for a day. I make lists, too and try to keep things straightened if not clean all the time. I live in a log cabin in the woods with a dog and a cat and a husband that can't keep the doors closed , so it's difficult to keep it perfectly clean anyway. I'm not only adapting to having a new babe, but to becoming a country girl.

I live north of Portland, in La Center, WA. Would consider coming down for visits with other ap moms.

Question: Does anyone else limit the kind and amount of colorful and wacky toys/mobiles/etc.? I find them to be overstimulating and I know my ancestors got by very well without such things, so I'm not keen on getting alot of it for my boy. He seems to be progressing very well without them. He has the cat and dog to watch, I take him outside a lot and play with him myself with some toys, but not a lot of plastic, overly colorful things. Any comments on this one?

 

[Pukka]

HI!

First time mama here as well. Dd is 9 wks old yesterday and we are slowly getting the hang of it. I ventured out on my own w/ dd for the first time 2 wks ago. I was so afraid to drive w/ her on my own. Usually dh drives and I sit in the back with her. I'm getting better at it. Dh moved the car seat to the truck so now I have dd right next to me but I'm not really comfortable with her in the front (don't worry, no airbag). I'm sure driving will get better with time.

Dd is content to sit in her bouncy chair and give me enough time to do the dishes, take a shower or throw a load of laundry in. The other day I realized she was in it for an hour w/o complaint! I couldn't believe it! I really don't want to be one of those moms who keeps their kid in a contraption all day so thankfully, dd insists on snuggle time several times a day. I'd like the house to be "Martha Stewart ready" but right now I'm content to have the dishes clean and the laundry done.

And I'm actually to the point of looking forward every evening to going to bed w/ her. Used to be I dreaded the nights but now they are better. I still don't get near the sleep I'd like but love waking up and seeing her snuggled up against me.

Now if only I could find a decent sling w/o paying the big bucks!

Hey Ravin, I'm in E. Mesa! How about this heat, huh?

 

[Dreaming]

I saw this post this morning but couldn't post...
DD is upstairs with DH for the moment but I hear her starting to cry, so I wonder if I will be able to have 10 minutes to myself.

I still haven't showered today and I didn't really get dressed, but I did manage to start some laundry (not finish it, but...), run the dishwasher AND (drumroll please) I baked a batch of chocolate chip cookies.

I put DD in her swing thingy

: while I mixed and baked and she started crying *just* as the last of 3 sheets was done in the oven. It's amazing how much I have learned to smash into a 30-40 minute time frame.

Still trying out the sling with chores. My back really starts bothering me after a few minutes, so I'm not sure how that's going to work.

Does anyone else feel like their DH relies too much on the boobies to fix everything? I just fed DD right before I jumped on the puter (both sides for about 30 minutes) and not 5 minutes later when she started to fuss, he said "I think she's hungry".

I told him to get up and walk around with her and she stopped crying right away. I realize he gets worn out just like I do but I feel like he needs to learn how to soothe her like I do all day (SAHM).

How nice would it be if the baby only wanted a boob when she was crying? As it is, I have my "bag of tricks" that I empty out everytime she's upset.

Is she fed?
Check.
Diaper clean?
Check.
Clothes not pinching?
Check.
Patting back for possible gas bubble?
Check.

A lot of times she just wants to be moved rhythmically while being held(walking around or etc). We even contemplated the bouncy seat thing (so DH and I can eat dinner at the same time- the swing only works once a day if I'm lucky), but we figure she'll hate it because she really wants to be held.

Gotta go. Baby crying.

 

[tarahsolazy]

Quote:

Originally Posted by TurboClaudia warm hugs to all you first-time mamas! Hey, I noticed that a few of you are also in Oregon. We're just west of Portland and I'd love to plan a get-together of first-time mamas with their babes and their partners for late this summer. Anyone interested? Lunch calls... warmly, claudia

Yes, Yes, Yes!! I'd love to meet some MDC mamas IRL, especially first timers like me. DH is fairly shy, and a SAHD, but I could probably convince him, or DS and I could come alone!

 

[dharmama]

Quote:

How nice would it be if the baby only wanted a boob when she was crying? As it is, I have my "bag of tricks" that I empty out everytime she's upset. Is she fed? Check. Diaper clean? Check. Clothes not pinching? Check. Patting back for possible gas bubble? Check.

:LOL Love that!

My DH is quick to call in the boobies too. I think it must be frustrating for them when they see how easily (most of the time) we can comfort them with boobies...so if she's fussing...that *must* be it.

I have been a little disappointed w/ DH when he gets home from work. I had a romatic vision of him coming in the door...whisking Lily out of my arms and spending the night snuggling/comforting her while I had some alone time.

Ummmm...no. Reality check. He is EXHAUSTED when he gets home from work. He really wants to go on the computer and read sports, surf e-bay etc. I have to suggest that he might want to change his clothes and snuggle his daughter, which he always does when I ask -- but I wish I didn't have to ask.

But I try to cut him some slack...it's only been 10 days and we are both trying to figure out what the heck we are doing.

She's in her bouncy seat right now -- one of the things I said I'd never use and didn't want

-- OMG it's a lifesaver...she takes one nap a day in there (all the rest velcro'd to me) and I can do laundry, run out to the barn and feed critters, write thank you notes (I have SO many to write) etc.

Doh....I'm getting the "squeaks"....which DH calls the two minute warning!

 

[Delight]

So great to hear that life with my babe sounds just like everyone else's!

Pukka--

Quote:

I was so afraid to drive w/ her on my own.

I was also very nervous to start driving Bella around by myself...mostly because she HATES the carseat. We say she has LCT (low carseat tolerance!)

She is getting a little better now that I've mastered nursing her in the carseat. I can even do it with my seatbelt still on! hee hee!
I had to drive her alone for 3 hours when we moved...and I lived. So, it's still just a day by day thing. Some mamas are out on the town all the time with their babe...but I have had DH working from home since she was born, so we pretty much do everything together and he drives. So, just wanted to say that I can totally relate!

TurboClaudia--

Quote:

We've had family here since the end of May (first my sister for three weeks, then my mom for two and half weeks, with my dad coming in for the last week).

Wow! That's a long time to have people there! I'm sure it was awesome...but I bet you will love being "mommy on your own". I had people at my place for 2 weeks off and on, and it was a relief when everyone was gone...so nice and quiet.

Artist Mama--

Quote:

It's amazing how much I have learned to smash into a 30-40 minute time frame.

I know what you mean! I buzz around like a bumblebee when I have even 5 minutes to get stuff done!! Bzzzzzzz.... gotta go buzzing right now!

 

[saritabeth]

I love this thread! My baby girl is 6 weeks old and I can relate to everything here!
more from me later!
Sarah

 

[rainbowmoon]

It's funny what one can get done in 10 or 20 min. intervals! lol. I guess I'm lucky ds sleeps alot (though alot less now than when he was newborn), though he is trying to sit up and teething so he has been a bit fussier than usual latley.poor boy..

dharmama- Your DH sounds like mine! I understand your dispointment. DH works 12 hours a day (6 days a week) and is exausted when he gets home as well.it took me awhile to understand that he needs an hour or two to himself too. but when I'm on 24/7 it's hard at time..not that he doesn't help out and stuff around the house and with the babe but I guess what bugs me most is sometimes he's only home for an hour (or less at times) before ds goes to sleep for the night!

As for driving, I am also so paranoid with a baby in the car now..I usually sit in the back and make DH drive.I'm glad I'm not the only one!

 

[VBMama]

Quote:

Originally Posted by TurboClaudia Hey, I noticed that a few of you are also in Oregon. We're just west of Portland and I'd love to plan a get-together of first-time mamas with their babes and their partners for late this summer. Anyone interested?

Sure, I'd be up for that! Several of my friends have had/are having babies this year, but none of them live close by & I'd love to meet some more mamas.

dharmama & rainbowmoon, I'm finding the same thing with dh. He needs downtime after getting home from work & recharge time on the weekend, but sometimes I wonder when do I get my downtime? My current fantasy involves dh saying, "Sweetie, why don't you give the baby to me for an hour or two & you go do what you want."

: I can't really complain though, because he works like a dog around our property (we have 5 acres, a huge garden, & more improvements needed than we can handle) & does housework too, it's not like he's goofing off playing computer games for hours at a time. And he's a loving dad who really likes cosleeping & even washes diapers...it's just tough figuring out how to balance our needs.

I actually love driving around with ds! We recently got a bigger, non-bucket-style carseat & ds is so calm in the car now. Getting out of the house makes me feel like I'm getting something accomplished, even if it's just a trip to the library or grocery store. I also became much less nervous after buying one of those mirrors that lets you see the baby, it's very reassuring.

joyfulmama17 -

Quote:

She is getting a little better now that I've mastered nursing her in the carseat. I can even do it with my seatbelt still on! hee hee!

I'm impressed! I don't understand how on earth people manage this!! Maybe it's because even at the height of my post-birth-milk-coming-in-engorgement I hit about a C cup. Cleavage is just not written in my cards...

dharmama -

Quote:

...run out to the barn and feed critters

What kinds of critters do you have? We just got our first chickens a few months ago...ds loves watching the hens but the rooster crowing scares the bejeesus out of him.