Mothering Forum banner

1 - 14 of 14 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
757 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
I am just wondering how do you handle being a mom and running a household.It is very hard for me I was diagnoes a few years ago. I believe it has been the main cause of my deppression.I am not suffring from depression as much as I used to but my add is just overwhelming at times.<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/gloomy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Gloomy">:
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
119 Posts
I was diagnosed a couple of years ago after dealing with depression for many years. At first I was really relieved about the diagnosis because it gave me reason and validation for being unable to accomplish much (at least in accomplish much in my eyes which can be pretty hard on myself). I tried medication and that was really really hard. I was on adderall and felt up and down all the time. Then I got pregnant with my second child and have been off medication ever since. I am still confused sometimes if I really have add or just deppresion and anxiety. The way I focus with it now is to try to embrace it more. Try not to be so tough on myself about not being able to call people back right away or not being able to paint the house or garden or do things that require a focus that I just can't commit too. Before I really considered that I had add, I was really hard on myself. I would try to paint my daughter's room with my husband and it was so hard and my husband was so confused. Now I am more upfront and honest about what is going to be too hard for my to do. I am trying to find ways to find the good in paying attention to what I am naturally good at and some of the positives of add. Before my therapist diagnosed add and tested my IQ, I was also conviced that I wasn't smart since I had trouble remembering things. She helped my realize that that wasn't true at all and that really helped me feel better.<br>
It is still really hard with two small children and day to day life being a stay at home mom makes it harder but I think just knowing that add traits are part of me makes me accept myself more and that helps a lot.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
781 Posts
I came here to post this VERY question!!! I have recently recieved a diagnosis of ADD for the first time at 27! Of course, my Dr. says that anyone with a small child would show symptoms of ADD, but when I took the screening the questions she was asking me definitely were true of my life pre-kids. I don't have any answers, but I'd love to have a lively discussion of ups and downs and how to cope as a mom with small kids. I'm off to bed now, but I hope that people respond. Thanks for starting this thread!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
514 Posts
I was diagnosed at 31 -- 4 years ago. A great psychiatrist and some Concerta/Wellbutrin helped me so much. I went off meds after becoming pregnant but just started up again. I am nursing and am on a little Ritalin -- it's going great. My depression has been lifting slowly every since the diagnosis and I have to say I think the depression is gone. Constantly making bad decisions (a la ADHD) can lead to depression. It's a hard thing to have, but good treatment makes all the difference.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,198 Posts
I was just diagnosed a few days ago with ADHD. I'm still adjusting to how I feel about the diagnosis, and the new medicine.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
514 Posts
I think my new meds (Adderal XR) are affecting my DS. (I nurse.) He's irritable and won't sleep. Time to go back to plain ol' generic Ritalin. It's cheaper anyway.<br><br>
How does ADHD affect your mothering? Do you find it hard to pay attention to your children as much as you'd like to?<br><br>
I'm pretty inconsistant -- perfect mom one day, just ok the next.<br><br>
Today's a blech day.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
757 Posts
Discussion Starter #8
I find that it is very hard for me to try to do more than one thing at a time for example if i am cleaning the bathroom and Alex needs a diaper, I find it hard to go back to cleaning. I get really and ohh so frustrated with the kids when they want my attention at the same time I am doing household work. I never finish anything and so that gets me even more depressed and frustrated with myself.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
12 Posts
The most helpful thing I can do for myself is to write <i>everything</i> down! If I don't, it is chaos. I forget things, am always late, miss appointments, etc.<br>
Sometimes when I'm trying to do too much at once (like the example of cleaning and attending to parenting) I really have to stop and take a deep breath and focus myself on what I need to do...what is most important. It's almost like I need to get grounded in order to really be in the moment. It doesn't always work, but it helps sometimes.<br>
I wish I had better answers. I have taken meds on and off (recently went back on them when I started back in college...for the sixth time or so!) Although helpful, they definitely have not been a cure-all. I'm a single mom and have other mental health issues (bipolar II being the biggie)...and my son also has mental health issues...so things get a little crazy around here sometimes. I find it incredibly difficult to keep up with household chores. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/dizzy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Dizzy">:
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
12 Posts
<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>oregongirlie</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/8337874"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;"><br>
How does ADHD affect your mothering? Do you find it hard to pay attention to your children as much as you'd like to?<br><br>
I'm pretty inconsistant -- perfect mom one day, just ok the next.<br><br>
.</div>
</td>
</tr></table></div>
I can totally relate to that. I really have to make the effort to give my son my undivided attention.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,538 Posts
Hey I'll join in <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/wave.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="wave"><br><br>
I was diagnosed with ADHD type 2 about 10 years ago (YIKES). The psycologist who looked over everything (my parents saved everything, like report cards from pre-k <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol">) says it was textbook and he doesn't get how it was missed.<br><br>
I was on Ritilin for a while, then I switched to adderall. I did better on the adderall. I"ve been off meds for 5 years b/c i was TTC / pregnant / nursing.<br><br>
My biggest challenge is running the house rather than really parenting. I also find I have to schedule thigns to do with my kids. Like in the morning I will think "ok, today after lunch we will do playdough" It might not be much, but I need to th ink of activites and hold myself accountable so I do things with them.<br><br>
Anyway have to run b/c my house is a MESS and it was supposed to be a short MDC break before I got distracted <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/dizzy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Dizzy">:
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
229 Posts
I was diagnosed in high school. I was successfully medicated for most of my young adult life. We're just now looking into what medications are available if any for a nursing mama.<br><br>
What have you taken and how did you feel? Did it work for you/side effects/withdrawal?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
781 Posts
I find that I am actually able to be a pretty good mom to a toddler, but I just can't do anything else (housework, cooking, erands, friendships, etc. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/wink1.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="wink1"> ) I am great at being in the moment with my dd and getting down on the floor with her, but I will genuinely NOT NOTICE the piles of junk I'm sitting in! And I totally resonate with the person who said it's hard to come back to something. My counselor explained to me that most people's brains are like automatic transmissions in cars, but mine is like a standard. I need to manually make adjustments that other people do automatically. I have found that image to be SOOO helpful!<br><br>
I'd love to hear from people about your experience with medication and nursing. My just-turned-two (!) dd is still nursing about 6x in a 24 hr period, and my dr. doesn't think I should go on meds till I stop nursing. Now my dh (who has always been SUPER supportive of nursing) wants me to wean dd so that I can try meds. I feel conflicted about that.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,327 Posts
x
 
1 - 14 of 14 Posts
Top