Mothering Forum banner
1 - 10 of 10 Posts

· Registered
Joined
·
110 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I'm officially not diagnosed, but after reading around, I think I am Aspergers (my ds as well, and possibly my brother...maybe my dad too
). It was really freeing to read about Aspergers and how people with it behave because as I was reading I was like "oh my gosh, thats me, oh wait, thats me too!". I've always felt really weird, cooky, quirky. Lots of OCD things, defiant just to be defiant at times, and VERY black and white/rigid on issues...especially things that are near and dear to me (like bfing). My little brother they tried dxing as ADHD, but my parents never pursued it because they didn't want him medicated. I think maybe my dad too because he just REALLY has a HARD time in social situations, gets stressed out by excess noise/people, and is very rigid in a lot of his thinking, and some OCD things too. We all struggle with depression too, although my dad is the only one who's ever been medicated for it. My brother might have been growing up, I'm not sure. My depression stems from loneliness...not having anyone like me who understands me. Like I WANT to make friends, but I really don't know what comes next after "hi, my name is Jennifer" ya know?

So anyways, just looking to connect with some other mom's like me.
 

· Registered
Joined
·
110 Posts
Discussion Starter · #7 ·
We went to a lot of family counseling when I was in jr high because my brother was acting out a lot (he's two years younger) and my parents were having marital issues. I kept all my issues (like wanting to quit school in the 7th grade because no one liked me/understood me) to myself.

I can be a blabbermouth and talk excessively, but only in relation to a subject I'm interested in. I read something in a book that said AS will try and stretch a topic to include their obsession and thats SOOO me. Dh laughed when I told him was like "so thats why you try to include childbirth/pg/bfing into every conversation."
And I rarely laugh out loud. Poor dh, whenever he says something funny I either don't get that it was funny, or I laugh a little on the inside and he's like "I guess you had to be there" and sad.

I've just started researching this, I was researching SID things for my son since he has some SERIOUS solids issues (no solids save for jalapeno chips until after his 2nd birthday...well, not NO solids, but VERY limited and not very often), an irrational fear of pooping (he'll ONLY poop in a bucket in the bathtub)-he KNOWS he feels better when he's done, and some obsessive tendencies (lining up all his trucks, towing things, trains). But one of the books I have has a questionnaire in the back and I got like 2 points less than him.

I myself have kind of grown out of some of my obsessions-like the organization of my closet, and some of them I was forced out of because its hard to do them with one or two kids always on me.
They're good therapy I guess. But I still just can't make any friends IRL. I know I'm incredibly rigid, some things are just black and white to me, and my current top obsession is child rearing since it consumes pretty much all of my time. I CAN'T hang out with other moms because they drive me crazy
So my poor dh and my mom have to be my only's.
 

· Registered
Joined
·
110 Posts
Discussion Starter · #11 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by GC_Mom View Post
This is me - people, in general, drive me crazy - I'm relatively anti-social. My sis and my mom are my gal pals. I think that having the internet and subject-specific message boards has really helped me feel connected but in a way that I'm comfortable with. I can do it on my own time and can be as obsessed about a topic as I want as I know I'm going to find other people with the same obsession.
Oh yes, I love the internet for that! It has allowed me to finally have friends and be comfortable and take time answering. I hate being put on the spot. One of the reasons I gave birth unassisted to my daughter was because the midwives talked too much...they wanted more out of me than I could give. I *want* to be friendly and outgoing...but I can't. Dh is trying to understand, for a while he kept forcing me to try and make friends, but since reading about AS he's realized how uncomfortable that is and that I'm lacking the skills. I love listening to him or my mom talk to complete strangers. Its a beautiful thing and I'm always in awe.
 

· Registered
Joined
·
110 Posts
Discussion Starter · #18 ·
Oh yes, a rotary cutter and a mat and a big yard stick are GREAT! I will only sew things that I can cut with those because I need my lines to be PERFECT!

My personal obsession is stripes/checks. I LOVE them! Hehe...Everytime we see something stripey I have to fight the impulse to buy it.
My mom always teases me when she sees stripes or checked things, and almost always buys me a new pair of pajama pants each year that is striped.


My mom taught me how to write "I love you" in cursive when I was 4. I'd carry a notebook with me everywhere and write it over and over. My brother and I both started Kindergarten at 4. My ds recognizes at least 10 words already, knew his alphabet and their sounds, and could count to 10 before his 3rd birthday. He can count to 20 now.

Has anyone read about the subtypes of AS? I'm pretty certain that I am "anxiety girl" for the most part...but I have a good dose of "logic girl" too.
 

· Registered
Joined
·
110 Posts
Discussion Starter · #31 ·
I do a lot of parallel play with ds too...he's just now himself wanting the interaction...up until a few months ago he'd ask you to come play with him, but freak if you actually touched the toys. It drives me kind of batty playing with him because its all scripted play and he wants me to say the same 3 lines from whatever movie he is obsessed with atm 27 times. I usually have to limit him and tell him "ok Trupe, Mommy's only going to say it one more time, then its time to move on" otherwise Mommy doesn't want to play anymore and feels like she is abandoning her son. We've also put a new limit on his movies, he can only watch his movie twice and then has to pick a new one (he doesn't sit and watch a movie all day, he just likes it on in the background usually).

Its good to know that a lot of adult AS are self-diagnosed. I thought maybe I was a freak for doing it.
Its interesting that you mention that AS are misdiagnosed as schizophrenic because dh was starting to really worry about me this summer and told me he thought I was turning schizophrenic. Poor guy, he was pretty scared.
 

· Registered
Joined
·
110 Posts
Discussion Starter · #32 ·
One thing that has helped me spend some quality time with ds is to either color pictures for/with him, or play games online (we just got the trial preschool thingie on playhousedisney). He gets his "feeling close" in and I don't actually have to come up with ideas.
 

· Registered
Joined
·
110 Posts
Discussion Starter · #45 ·
Oh wow! I LOVE reading all this stuff too! It makes me feel like less of a freak. I was always "hey smart girl" in school and painfully shy. Dh says that people think I am stuck up, but I'm honestly scared to death! I *try* to make conversation, especially at dh's work or with other mom's for ds's sake, but I usually end up offending people (case in point, at dh's work I met his coworkers wife for the first time. He asked me if I went by Jenny, to which I replied "Jen or Jennifer is fine, Jenny is worthy of getting fingers cut off" Everyone laughed, but apparently his wife was quite offended. I felt so uncomfortable and put on the spot though...I wasn't introduced as Jenny...I was introduced as Jennifer...it wouldn't have been appropriate for me to call him ScottY or her Ter instead of Teri. I guess it wouldn't bother most people, but it bothers me.

I have some crazy irrational fears myself. I wrote a 50page paper on them when I was 19.

Are there things you just don't understand, no matter how hard you try? Politics is one thing I can't fully grasp (despite having taken college politics in high school and passing). Like I know the things I believe in, but the rest is just totally out of my realm of comprehension. Dh and my dad try and try and try to explain it to me, but I just
: . I know that dh and I are pretty much identical on the stuff I understand, so I just vote what he votes and let him take care of the rest.
 

· Registered
Joined
·
110 Posts
Discussion Starter · #50 ·
Do any of you have confrontation problems? Like I will seriously avoid confrontation at basically all costs...including making myself sick with worry and excuses, etc.

Do any of you know about codependency? I've been told I was codependent...but I'm beginning to wonder if maybe its more As related than codependency.
 

· Registered
Joined
·
110 Posts
Discussion Starter · #54 ·
What a day...jeez.

First, we walked out of our apartment and the guys fixing up the apartment above and over from us (we live in quad-plexes) were smoking right outside my bedroom window. Thank goodness it wasn't open with a sweet sleeping baby inside! I would have been livid. As it is I'm just peeved. I'm going to talk to the landlord tomorrow and ask him if the workers have a designated smoking area. It says in our apartment papers that if smoking in the outside public areas becomes a health concern for anyone that it will be banned. So I'm hoping he is reasonable and will have them smoke elsewhere while they are working on the apartment.

Then, on the way to the store someone honked repeatedly at me for going 25 in a 30mph zone as we were approaching a red light. Ok, let zoom up to the stoplight and slam on my breaks. Goodness. Then after he zoomed around me there was a cop behind him. Now, I drive the speed limit, use my signals, etc, but I'm always so scared I'll get pulled over!

Then I bought dh some flowers at ds's insistence and we took them to his work. Dh said thanks and quickly hid them and told me its not cool to bring flowers to a mechanic shop. Doh. So now I feel bad. I thought it was sweet that ds wanted to bring his daddy flowers, and dh did appreciate it, I think he would have just preferred them at home.


Then on my usual friend board that I go to I severely peeved off more than a few members. Yay.
:

And tonight I go to my codependent group (Celebrate Recovery)...but I missed last week so I'm sure I'll get talked to for that.

I feel like I'm on the verge of crying...but everything is still mostly ok. Mostly. I hate freaking out about this stuff, I just want to crawl in a hole.
 
1 - 10 of 10 Posts
This is an older thread, you may not receive a response, and could be reviving an old thread. Please consider creating a new thread.
Top