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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
so, i have decided that i can just not handle the night time parenting anymore and tonight my dh has taken over. i have been asking him to help me out with this for months, but after a really hard night two nights ago, i gave him today as his day to start. so, my dd who is 20m is just crying her heart out asking for me. she has been crying on and off for nearly an hour now (wait! she just stopped)<br>
A few weeks ago, i gave dh the same responsibilty, but i went to her after hearing her cry for maybe 10 min. At the time, he didn't have any plan and i could tell that things would just escalate if i didn't step in. Today, i don't think he has much of a plan, but know he has something and i think that if i continue stepping in she will just expect it.<br><br>
so, anyone on? think i should go in?<br>
(she isn't crying now b/c he was getting her something to drink. but,,,,here she goes again. )<br>
this is hard. i am sooo tired out from our long night-time routine and then non-stop nursing after i come to bed.<br>
any help would be great. thanks<br>
mcs
 

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Sorry you're having trouble. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"><br>
I personally would go in; I can't stand to hear my daughter cry, and if I know that me being there would stop it I'd do it.<br>
Is this a regular thing or a new thing? Do you know that she's tired? Is she currently teething or anything?
 

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WE started this a while back, when he become more of a daddy's boy. Once I knew that he wanted dad around and would go to him for comfort we eased into it at night. I waited until he was done teething and have no reason to be mad other thn to be mad. Just feel it out.If dh is good and patient and quite with her, and willing, let them figure it out. He is not a stranger, and she is goint to get mad, that is okay, but she is not alone. I would go in when dh got short and angry.<br><br>
That is jsut me, your heart and gut know better than any of us. Hugs it is hard.
 

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Maybe you could describe how you ended up here. Are you cosleeping? Is she nursing often? Waking often? Staying awake? What would you say is the biggest problem?<br><br>
Personally I would not be able to deny my child something that they clearly needed- whether it was mom, or nursing, or rocking, or sleeping together.<br><br>
-Angela
 

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That must be really hard. I may be in the same boat that you are in as well. I agree with another post, your daughter is in good hands being with her father, and it may be hard at first but they will work it out, at least I have heard other parents say that. She is not crying alone, but rather in the loving arms of her father.<br>
Good luck and keep us posted.<br>
Sarah
 

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mcs, I feel for you...I understand completely how it feels to hit the wall with nighttime parenting...especially when you're up most of the night, every night for 20 months. It can be exhausting.<br><br>
I would trust your gut and talk with your dh a lot about how it's going. Did you talk with your dd about the change that was coming? That might help her to prepare as nighttime gets closer. Maybe you can do half of the routine and then dh can come in to help her sleep. I agree with a pp that she is going to get mad...this is a change that she did not initiate and she's probably perfectly content with the way things have been. If it isn't working for you, I personally believe that a change is understandable. It's just going to take a bit of time to adjust. Trust yourself and your intuition about this...you know your dd best.<br><br>
Good luck to you!
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
thanks everyone. she did fall asleep for dh about 15 min. after i posted. we do cosleep- she takes a long time to nurse down and nurses nearly the whole night through- don't know at this point which of those is my biggest problem. i don't think that dh has the best "plan" but, without going into too much detail at this time of night, i just don't feel like i can deal with it anymore. While he is not full of great ideas for this, he is full of patience and love and they have a wonderful relationship otherwise. hope you all are sleeping right now. i am going to hit the pillow hard and i think dh will too.<br>
thanks again for your advice.<br>
mcs
 
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