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Mods, this may need to be in Parents as Partners. Please move if it should. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngbiggrin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="orange big grin"><br><br>
So we lost my car back in September. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"> Which now makes us a one car family.<br><br>
I am terribly stressed at being stuck at home almost all the time. My husband leaves at 6:30 am and gets home around 3pm. But by then it's too late to meet for a Mom's day out or playdate or anything.<br><br>
Fridays is usually my husband's day off. But he just told me he is working 2 to 6. I know we need the money, but I was really looking forward to getting out of the house. In the morning I do have to take Gabrielle to Children's for PT and return my medical paperwork. BUT THATS NOT FUN! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"><br><br>
How do I get over the anger and sadness?<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"> It's only going to get worse when my husband goes back to school. I will never leave the house then. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"><br><br>
Please help, I need some coping advice.
 

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Is it not possible for your husband to carpool so that you can keep the car home? My concern in this situation would be what if there was an emergency, and you needed the car? I understand there are lots of one car families out there, but that would be what worries me if I were home all day with no mode of transoportation.<br><br>
That said, we are also a one vehicle family, somewhat. My husband drives a company van. Therefore, all the child running is done by me with my car. I am running into a problem recently where I have to go to canada tomorrow, and have to leave the house VERY EARLY, and will probably get back into town pretty late. BUT, I also have to drive to a park and ride for a rendezvous, so I still need the car. Thankfully, my mom lives very close and has car seats in her car too. So she will take the boys to and from daycare for me. Its lots of running around and a big hassle that could be avoided if we just had another non-work vehicle. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/eyesroll.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="roll">
 

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Are there no busses near you? How about a bicycle? Neither is perfect, but either would allow you to get out of the house a bit more.<br><br>
We're a one-car family, but my DH takes public transportation to work, so the car stays home with me.<br><br>
And I'd have to say that 3 is not too late for a one-on-one playdate. Sure you're not liable to find groups meeting after that, but you can do individual playdates. I'd also recommend finding some classes you'd like to take on a regular basis (in the evening), even if it's just weekly yoga at the Y. I know my LYS has weekly knitting circles every day of the week (different time every day) for free, the local fabric stores all offer sewing classes, etc. What are your hobbies, are there any groups you could join around your hobbies that get together sporadically (like once a month)?<br><br>
I'm working on this myself. While I have the car and could get out of the house every day, unless i have a reason to I don't.
 

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We have bikes, but I can't take both little ones in the trailer while pg with bad knees, and no public transportation here for us. We had one vehicle...then my FIL gave us his old truck...two days later (today) we find out our van is dead-the computer died. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/eyesroll.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="roll"> So we are back to a one vehicle family for the time being with a vehicle that only seats 1.<br><br>
I struggle with this a lot. It's SUCH a PITA living without public transport and with 1 vehicle with it gone a lot of the time.
 

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Yup, we've always been a one car family. Not even one car really but we live with my mom and she generously lets us use her car. Dh generally takes it to work. If I want to take ds somewhere, I drive dh (half hour each way so 2 hours total plus whatever driving time to actually take ds to the place we wanted to go). Needless to say, we don't do that more than once a week. When ds was small enough to ride in the stroller, I'd just take very long walks. There's a couple thrift stores a mile away (different directions) that I'd go to. We do live someplace with public transportation but it's expensive (especially since we have to pay full fare for ds) and involves transfering to get anyplace we want to be. Just the two of us going out costs $11 and that's just for buses.<br><br>
Inviting people over is one way to get a little outside interaction.
 

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We drive dh to and from work every Tuesday and Friday to have the car. Having days that I KNOW I get the car really helps. It also helps that dh works out after work and has studying he could do if we ever need to run late.
 

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We share a car. DH is a part-time SAHD (works two mornings a week and some evenings). For the most part, whoever is at home with DS (DH during the day, me in the evenings and weekends when DS is working) is without a car. BUT, if DH is going to want the car during the day, he gives me a ride into work in the morning and picks me up in the afternoon. Pain in the butt, yes, but it's what we have to do, not wanting to blow money on a second car.
 

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One car family and I can't drive, so it's either the bus or I make plans to do something with someone else who has a kid my kid(s) likes to hang out with. They bring the car, you bring the picnic lunch.
 

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Thank you everyone. I am PMSing and just needed to get it out.<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/redface.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Embarrassment"><br><br>
Our public transportation here sucks (we are in the St. Louis area). His work is about 11 miles away, which isn't bikeable. Out of desperation when I have had Doctor's appointments my FIL has come and picked him up but we can't ask that of him all the time. But MIL and FIL are leaving for Hilton Head in the morning.<br><br>
He has told me he is being transfered to a different location that will be closer (but still not bikeable) in a few weeks. That might help. But by then he will be going to Summer school, which will further complicate things.<br><br>
Gawd I miss Denver. We had a terrific transportation system. He could take the bus to the train. Worked out cool! We had one car at that time but no kids. So we have made it work in the past. But where we live now and the kids has complicated things.
 

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I think I figured it out. I am mourning my independence. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"> Maybe that's where this hurt is coming from.
 

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<div style="font-style:italic;">I think I figured it out. I am mourning my independence. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"> Maybe that's where this hurt is coming from.</div>
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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/grouphug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="grouphug"> That's hard.<br><br>
We are a one car family, but we scarcely notice because dp works six blocks away and I have the car most of the time. One day every couple of months, he needs the car. If there is no conflict, he takes it. Sometimes we drive him, sometimes he catches a ride or a bus.
 

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We've always had only one car. When we live somewhere that DH can't take public transportation to work, I drive him to and from work so that I have the car all day. If it really came down to it and we needed to have two forms of transportation though, we've talked about getting DH a scooter. Way cheaper than a car!
 

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Thank you all. I'm mushy today and still trying to sort out my anger/emotions.
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"><br>
I know its hard. We have two cars but only one works. I have been helping to take care of my mom who has cancer. My sister lives with her, but my mom is really not doing well, so I have to Mimi-sit on the nights my sister works. From 5pm-3am, or basically all night. 4 days a week. She had to move to a town pretty far from here for this round of treatment and I haven't been able to see her. So my whole extended family is hating me because I can't just take our one car and go stay with her up there... *sigh* I am hating life lately also.
 

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We only have one car so I usually walk the 2 miles to and from work, although DP does drive me if it's raining. 2 miles is about 30 minutes, I often walk 6 or more miles in a day.<br><br>
I don't really know how far things are in St. Louis, but most of my family thinks it's insane to walk more than a block... it's really quite relaxing and grounding once you get used to it. Exercise and stress relief, and it's free!<br><br>
Can you invite other moms to meet at a park that is close to you?<br><br>
It just really sounds like you need to find ways to get out without a car. Can you drive your husband to work one day a week? Can he carpool sometimes? I hate asking people for rides but sometimes that's the best way... I gave up my car 2 years ago and it first I had a hard time with it but now it's very rarely an issue.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>KatWrangler</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/15379988"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I think I figured it out. I am mourning my independence. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"> Maybe that's where this hurt is coming from.</div>
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I know I felt that way when we went down to be a 1-car family. I still mourn a loss of freedom - more because I can't drive stick shift :eyeroll especially on the weekends.<br><br>
I do have a bike that helps with the commute to work, but its not cool when its raining. I know about missing the public transportation - I miss Seattle for that - even with their lousy buses
 

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Is there any reason you and the kids can't drive him to work once and awhile?<br><br>
We are a one car family, and I will drive the 15 miles to his work to have the car a couple times a month.<br><br>
Playdates usually happen at my house.<br><br>
-Melanie
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>sebandg'smama</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/15383917"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Is there any reason you and the kids can't drive him to work once and awhile?<br><br>
We are a one car family, and I will drive the 15 miles to his work to have the car a couple times a month.<br><br>
Playdates usually happen at my house.<br><br>
-Melanie</div>
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I was going to offer the same suggestions- i know it would suck getting all the kids up that early, but once or twice a week might be worth it for your sanity!<br>
We were a one car family for three years, and just got a second car. I felt like a taxi driver- always driving someone somewhere, but having access to the car was worth it for me. I have a tendency to just stay home (i'm an introvert) and the more i stay home the less i want to go out and the more depressed i get.<br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">s
 

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We are a one car family and we just make do. The shifts my husband works wouldn't work out to have me and the kids drive him and pick him up. It's either too early in the morning or too late at night to have the kids up (seriously I am not dealing with my 3 year old if he had to get up at 5AM, it's not worth leaving the house)<br><br>
It helps that my kids can ride a school bus and that my husband typically gets a weekday off or is off early enough in the day for me to make doctor's appointment and such.<br><br>
It's not great, but we can't afford a second vehicle right now, so we deal. I'm not a terribly social person so that's been okay. What I am stressing about is traveling to visit family this summer. My DH needs the car for work. I can borrow one of my mother's when I get home. It's the getting there I'm concerned with. I'm looking into one way car rentals.<br><br>
If there is an emergency my husband would stay or come home. We have no family here to help anyway (moved for a job and have no real local friends yet)<br><br>
One day my 1st grader had an accident at school and I had to call a taxi. It sucked, but it worked out.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>nolansmummy</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/15383988"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I was going to offer the same suggestions- i know it would suck getting all the kids up that early, but once or twice a week might be worth it for your sanity!<br>
We were a one car family for three years, and just got a second car. I felt like a taxi driver- always driving someone somewhere, but having access to the car was worth it for me. I have a tendency to just stay home (i'm an introvert) and the more i stay home the less i want to go out and the more depressed i get.<br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">s</div>
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The down side to 'your' car days in my experience when you drop your husband at work, is they tend to be a nightmare of errands and trying to fit in fun child stuff. By the time you go to pick your husband up at the end of the day, your twice as exhausted as normal and would give your right arm to never have to buckle a child into a car seat again!
 
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