[heket]

I'm one!

I just wasn't sure if there are others here as well, and if so I was wondering if this scenario is familiar to you...

I was a full time professional librarian before dd was born. She's my first, and well I had the awful pangs of having to return to work, which I stalled until she was three months. I felt blessed that I was able to find a part time position that allowed me to still help with our monumental debt and allowed me to compromise with dh -- who wanted me to return full time because I'm the breadwinner of the house. It wasn't the best option all around (I have an hour commute each way, 4 days/wk), but the best option availabe at that time.

So flash forward 7 months. Working part time is ok -- my profession, to me, isn't as satisfying as being with dd, but I don't loathe it. We're getting a routine down and things are generally flowing well. So today, I've come to realize something that I guess I should've known all along -- I'm merely a part-timer. This realization hits me when my boss talks to me about wanting me to cover after 3-day weekends. She explained to me how her superior thought it odd that we were short staffed in our department this past Tuesday and how come I wasn't scheduled to come in? She told her she hadn't thought about it. So now wanting to take the proactive approach and work with my schedule too, she wanted to discuss setting up for the future the shift in schedule that I will be making to compensate for staff coverage after a holiday period.

While I truly appreciate my boss's attempts to make me feel like I'm part of the decision making process and working with my complex scheduling for babysitting (between grandma and a friend), I couldn't help but feel like I'm merely a part-timer who's life and schedule can be rearranged at whim (as I perceive my job to see it). Since when does being a mom mean you have copious quantities of free time?

: Even though I'm equal in my professional training to my full time counterpart, I suddenly feel like I'm seen as less. I'm pretty flexible and make arrangements as best I can for my department, and my boss acknowledges this. But I guess it's the realization that because I'm part time, I should be willing to fill any gaps, just because I (supposedly) have more free time.

Am I being snobbish or condescending? Or was I just not fully primed for what working part time means? Is it just me?

:

 

[laurabfig]

Quote:

Originally Posted by heket I'm pretty flexible and make arrangements as best I can for my department, and my boss acknowledges this. But I guess it's the realization that because I'm part time, I should be willing to fill any gaps, just because I (supposedly) have more free time. Am I being snobbish or condescending? Or was I just not fully primed for what working part time means? Is it just me? :

NO...You are NOT being snobbish or condescending! You are merely feeling the stress of being a mom AND in the workplace!

I work part time too, as an Occupational Therapist in a Pediatric Rehab department at a hospital. The other day someone said to me, "I am just exhausted at the end of the day..." and then continued on to say to me, "Its different for you...you're only here in the afternoons...you shouldn't be as tired at 6 p.m." I didn't respond, but was thinking "and since you have no kids you probably sleep way more than me and are not as stressed even though you work FULL time!"

: (Just my little venting session here, sorry!)

Is your boss someone you can speak freely with? Could you talk to your boss honestly about your desire to be with your child as much as possible?
I really don't have any advice, just wanted to encourage you that I feel the same way and give you a

 

[mamacate]

Yup, me! I'm a part-time researcher. My schedule is completely flexible (though my child care arrangements are not), and I was part-time before, supplemented with freelance and I was very available to attend after hours events, etc. But I have definitely found myself to be out of the loop since my kids were born. Partly it's because I'm now working on a grant that is more long-term policy stuff (that frankly no one really cares about, sigh), and partly it's because I have cut my hours to the bare minimum.

I have a great boss, and I typically get what I want in terms of working conditions, but I am not in the inner circle anymore. I used to hear all the gossip about what was going on before it was public, my boss used to discuss internal political strategy and marketing questions with me; now when I volunteer my opinion I often feel dismissed, and I rarely get the inside scoop anymore. It doesn't help that I have made it very clear that the kids come first, and that my leave replacement has taken over my old job and is very all-business and doesn't understand the people side of things, and we have our meetings with our boss together, so it's just "let's get through this list of priorities and get back to work" instead of "so, what's going on on campus and how does this project I'm working on fit in with the cabinet's priorities for the academic year" like it used to be. Ah well. I don't have the energy for that stuff anymore anyway. I also have to wonder how the choices that she made (and that were available to her in the early 80's, where you really had to prove your "loyalty" to the job after having kids) affect her attitude toward my choices (EBF, minimizing time apart, other AP stuff that have come up in social conversations). She respects me, but I think it's not simple, ya know?

I think you have a right to feel annoyed with what your boss is doing. I don't have any solutions, but I don't think it's right. For me, the brainpower and investment in my job has decreased greatly since the kids were born, so in a way it feels like a fair trade, but it sounds like you are quite engaged in your job, and your treatment should reflect that.

Hugs,

Cate

 

[kofduke]

Well, I was. I feel like at this point in my career if I take a few years out I'll have trouble getting back in at all. I loved it - I'm actually not terribly concerned at this point about 'advancement', per se, so it worked out well for me to stay in my field. Unfortunately things at my old job were declining (long story), and I had to look for new work, and couldn't find anything p/t, so now I'm full time. I've been told repeatedly that p/t is an accommodation for valued employees, not something that you can get right off the bat. I think p/t is a fabulous balance, and I'm so sad I'm not doing it anymore.

 

[Threefold]

Me! I job share as an elementary school teacher and this is my 3rd year with this type of arrangement. It works very well with my partner and the students and parents, but these are some of my complaints!
I get some of the same comments about "oh, you're going home now, must be nice ".
I get asked by some if I am a sub b/c my scheduled days were not the days of faculty meetings.

I've been treated as a new teacher each year I've moved to a new school (I've been at this 12 years, by many accounts a "veteran teacher").
I've been expected to attend all evening events along with my partner teacher . Uhhh, no, we share, one of us will attend each event.
We've been expected to do double duty with the committee duties. Nope.
Told we can not use sick nor personal leave when our childcare falls through. Sorry, when I get a phone call that my provider is ill at 6am, I don't have any options. And we have gotten flack for taking a last minute sick day b/c our child is ill.

Both principals I've worked under expect that we can cover for eachother, which is fine when it is scheled in advance and child care arrangements can be made, but juts doesn't work otherwise.

:
So, it's been a lot of advocating and explaining the contract and just not being afraid to shamelessly put my family first despite the fear of a possible negative evaluation.

Anyway, I think you have every reason to be put out with your boss. Your being part time does not make you more flexible and your schedule should be set in stone and only changed voluntarily.

 

[RNapmomma]

I am currently FT but when we have our 2nd I will be looking for PT . . .either job sharing my current position or switching to something different in the same department.

I am an advanced practice nurse, trained as an nurse practitioner, working as a clinical nurse specialist. I am a little worried although I would like to make the switch to the NP job because it is more in line with my career goals. The CNS position is more flexible hours and it's rare I HAVE to be there so if I had a sick child and had to call in sick, no biggie. In fact, the assistant nurse mangers that do my pay roll don't even put it in as unplanned time off. It would probably also be easier to pump and nurse at lunch (I have great onsite dc) in the CNS job . . . wondering if there is a way to stay in that position until #2 is 1 yr then making the switch to NP

((HUGS)) and I don't think your boss is being fair to you

 

[Indigomama]

I'm currently full time but in the three years I've been back (took a year off) at my job I've worked part time, full time w/ part time at home, and full time.

First I don't know anyone who works part time that doesn't feel out of the loop. I actually had more issues with my coworkers than boss in my situation. Now that I work full time I have difficulties with my boss versus coworkers.. haha. Some people get it... some people don't. And some people are just plain stupid about it. Personally work with a lot of men who's wives stay home cause they know what happens at those day care centers and they love their children too much to do that... (sorry... another rant for another day).

Being able to be flexible sure helps... but we all know how flexible most child care situations are. I don't think you're being unreasonable. You just have to be patient, and explain nicely to people as situations arise what it means to be part time.

Hang in there!

 

[bobica]

Hi. I'm a part-time SLP. I was full time until week 28 or so of dd's pregnancy when my bp shot up & stayed up. ugh. bedrest, disability, etc. my boss & i had discussed part time before then & she wasn't flexible at all. she started having 2nd thoughts, then LATE in the game realized she couldn't give me 20-25 hrs a week & wanted to farm me out. one thing led to another & it wasn't working out.

so now, i work 3 days a week at 3 different sites plus see 1 kid in the neighborhood at home. In the fall, it'll stay at 3 days a week, going to 4 different sites & 2 kids in the neighborhood. it's pretty flexible, all fee for service so if i go i get paid, if i dont... the money is much better contracting, but we had to buy health insurance out of pocket for the past year. now dh's very very small business bosses pay 1/2 (god bless them!)

i like it but i really feel tired all the time & then guilty when i don't get much done around the house when i'm home on my 2 days. it's been a weird work in progress, but i wouldn't pass up the time home with her- i really can't picture going back to 5 days (for pretty much the same $ as 3 now!)

all that said, you're being realistic- part timers are often viewed as "less" just because they're there less. just because i'm not there doesn't mean i'm not busy. i've had to become less flexible & say "no" more, b/c 1 principal in particular thinks the planets are aligned around her & i should just be able to change at her every whim. uh, no, here are my hours!

hang in there!!!

 

[grnmtnmama]

i feel very lucky with my current pt situation. it's a long story, but after ds was born i switched jobs because the old job didn't want to accommodate any more mothers. someone else offered me pt hours at a higher salary with greater career advancement potential - how could i refuse?

i work in a small office doing media buying for a mom of two girls and it's funny, i don't even feel out of the loop even though i'm only in the office 3 days a week. i do sometimes wish that i had more time there to take on more and bigger projects. but my son is a big enough project for now.

 

[Stacymom]

I didn't even realize what I was so frustrated about until I read this and you all put words to my feelings!

This is exactly how I've been feeling! I've worked in music retail for about seven or eight years now, and have been part time since the birth of my first dd. I gradually phased out during my last trimester of my second pregnancy, and have just started back about 15 hours a week last week after being out for over a year. It's interesting because during my extended leave, they hired who was my biggest rival to take my old job. (And nothing's changed- I still think he's a slimeball.) He now wants to be completely in charge of me, and is constantly acting like he has all the authority in the owrld to tell me what to do.

:

I guess I expected to come back into the same place, the same seniority, and the same perks that I had before. But like others said, I am very much out of the loop, and since I am working evenings where things are less busy, a lot of hte deals are going to other people. I guess I just need to adjust my attitude, and go and do my job and go home. It's hard though, because I've invested so many years of myself in that company, in some ways it's hard to be on the outside track.

I did have to say no to a schedule change last week though, because my hours are carefully planned around dh's work so we don't have to get a sitter. It immediately gave me less credibility in the eyes of the middle managers, but the upper managers are hte one who hired me, and told me that I didn't have to say yes to any schedule changes.

 

[guestmama9924]

Me! I am a CBE/Lactation Counselor and do contracts for state agencies mostly now. I take project contracts, like, the last one was working on the obesity/breastfeeding grant and faciliting the program in the community as a community health worker.

I love contract jobs b/c usually they are just a few short months and then just waiting for another one to come along. I gave up doula and midwifery assisting work ( for now) because I am also back in school (MCH full time)

Mostly, I DO feel like a SAHM most of the time. My dH keeps the girls when I have scheduled work, and so much I do out of the house. This works well for us and I intend to keep doing this type of work indefinitely