[maplegirly]

Hi,

I am new to this website, and need some solutions for separation anxiety. My l.o. is 2 and a half years old and she has a crying fit at bedtimes and when it is time for me to leave her at nursery (she goes only 3 half days a week).

Cry it out does not work at bedtimes. We have taken her to a child psychologist who suggested cry it out despite our telling her in past that this did not work. I cannot take the crying anymore as I now have a new baby and he has colic so there is already far too much crying going on in our house at present.

Please help with any advice for solving this dilemma. Thanks!

 

[LynnS6]

Welcome!

I suspect you won't have ANYONE here suggesting CIO.

At home for bedtime, can you sit in her room with her until she falls asleep? That's what we do with our 2 year old. I bring a book or my laptop and just relax until she falls asleep. It's a nice opportunity for me to 'take a break' and not feel guilty about getting things done. You might also find the book "The No Cry Sleep Solution for Toddlers & Preschoolers" helpful.

At 'school' - first 2 1/2 is pretty little for preschool. Does she need to go? Sometimes just waiting a year makes the problem go away. If you need her to go (for your sanity, for example), then I would suggest: getting there a bit early, so you're there before most of the kids. Develop a consistent drop off routine (put your stuff in your cubby, wash your hands, read one story, kiss, hug. Then, hand her off to a TEACHER for comfort. (I used to try to get our son interested in an ACTIVITY. Always failed.)

If it's just the separation that's bothering her, she should be OK without you after a few minutes. If she's really not ready to be away from you, she'll be miserable the whole time. If that's the case, I'd pull her out if you possibly can.

 

[maplegirly]

Hello there,

Thank you for your reply.

We are finally having success with the nightime routine; after we finish the routine with stories, we ask our l.o. if she'd like one more story, she says yes, and I reply that I will read it on the stairs (out of sight). So, I read one last story then go on to do the chores, and I just keep reasuring her if she calls out until she feels safe enough to go to sleep. It's working!

As for nursery, I started her going as we have no family living anywhere near us, so it helps me out (I got severely ill with thyroid disease after her birth and was completely exhausted) and she really has gotten on really well with her social skills and vocabulary while there.

Thanks again for your reply.

Maplegirly