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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hi there! I am from Luray and looking for other AP moms in the area - I know a few mamas with little ones, but not many who are AP-oriented. If you are out there and interested in making some new friends, write back!
 

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i dont live in the valley currently, but thats where im from, and where i plan to return. my family and my husbands family live just nort of staunton, and we go back home as often as we can, usually once a month, more often during the summer.
 

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My husband and I are expecting our first baby any day now. I am originally from near Harrisonburg, and we just moved back and are looking for a house in New Market. We're staying with my parents temporarily. I would enjoy chatting some more . . .
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
sorry i've been MIA from the thread i started oh so long ago (that's what restoring a 200+ year old house will do for ya!). anyhoo...nice to hear there are some other mamas nearby! stacy - i actually JUST heard about FNL - I am really good friends with the Liberty Liscomb (she's on the board - treasurer, I think?). we graduated HS together and are still close. she suggested i start a group in my area and i was thinking maybe i should come up to winchester and check out your group first to really get a firsthand feel.
SomerG - are you in New Market yet?
any other shen valley mamas out there?
 

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We are in New Market now, just over the mtn. from Luray. Do you attend the LLL mtgs. there? I was just looking to see if there were any nearby. We attended once in H.burg, but thought I might try the one in Luray. I also have a friend here in N.M. who is expecting her 1st in April, and planning on a homebirth, so I thought I would see if she wants to attend. I really didn't think there were any other MDC mamas in this area!

What age are everyone's kids? I have one 7 mo. old. Also, what ped do you go to? I'm considering making a switch.

Gotta run. Look forward to chatting more.
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
somerg - we'd LOVE to have you at our next LLL meeting (march 9)- and bring your expecting friend too! we meet the second thursday of the month at 10am at the Luray Fitness Center. there's also an evening meeting at the leader's house at 6 and i can give you info on that if it would work better for you.
i'm actually getting ready to embark on my journey to LLL leadership. it's been a great group that's been very helpful to me. we've also started a playgroup of LLL kiddos. i know your little one is a tad young for that (mine is 15 months and the youngest in attendance so far has been 11mos), but you can come to socialize if nothing else!
write back here or PM me if you want more info!
unfortunately, my ped is where i USED to live - 1 hour and 45 minutes away. we keep him b/c we LOVE him and he is very open to the way we parent and the choices we make. he's trying to find us a new doc that's closer but it's taking some networking on his part with some old med school associates and he hasn't found anyone yet. there is a ped NP in LUray that i've heard good things about, but not sure about areas of AP/NFL/nonvax/noncirc/CL weaning kind of stuff. i'll have to investigate her some more!
hope to talk to you soon!
 

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nak
We'll definately plan to attend the next LLL meeting. I'm looking forward to meeting some more mamas. I really don't know hardly anyone with babes or young kids, but I do have a couple of pregnant friends, so that's always fun!

jackson'smama & 3ncountin, have you lived in this area long? If not, what brings you here? We moved back to be near my family & dh got a job in H.burg. I taugt Elem. school for a few years, but am now a SAHM and loving it! We just bought a house that needs lots of TLC, so that keeps us pretty busy for the time being. I'd love to hear more about you all.

3ncountin, are you planning to have your baby at RMH or home or elsewhere? My ds was born at RMH with a midwife, but we'd like to have the next one at home.

Gotta run. Talk to you more later.
 

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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
i was born and raised in luray but lived the last 4 years near charlottesville. i'm now back and i know what you mean about a home that needs a lotta tlc!
i too have few friends with little ones (if it weren't for la leche, i'd be a lonely mama!). i do have another friend with a little one and one on the way - we've been part of a group of 4 best friends since kindergarten - however she is pretty mainstream, so i find it a little hard sometimes. i never say anything, but i'm constantly thinking it so it makes it difficult for me.
who was your midwife? i used to go to barbara kirkland and she was awesome. there is a new one in h'burg - anne shaeffer. we used to work together and i love her too! that's probably where i'll start going (they're in the same practice) - but i dread the thought of delivering at RMH when i become pregnant b/c i've heard horror stories about their long list of "must-dos" and protocols. what was your experience?
nice chatting with you!
 

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Looks like we're on at the same time this morning, jm!
I went to Shenandoah Women's Health in H.burg and I saw both Barbara and Ann. There are 4 midwives there, and Marti was the one that was at the birth. I liked all of them quite a bit. They are good at doing what you want. They do tend to be fairly medical, but I guess that's how it is with midwives that do hospital births. They have a lot of patients who are not interested in natural birth, but just like the idea of having a woman deliver their baby. A friend of mine had a not so good experience with them recently because she was induced with Cytotec, wasn't progressing well and ended up with a C-section. I don't blame the midwives, but I wish that they had told this friend about some of the dangers of induction (it was an elective induction). That being said, my experience at RMH was great. They won't let you turn in your own birth plan, but they do give you something to fill out about what you want. I had a natural labor and birth (no meds) and felt that everyone was supportive. The main requirements that they wouldn't budge much on was that you can't eat once you get there (we labored at home for a long time), you can only have 2 or 3? people in the room, you have to have the heploc (sp.) in case of IV. I do know that they are trying to become much more friendly to natural birth. They have jacuzzi tubs in every room, massage chair, birthing stool, and a bunch of stuff like that. One of the head nurses is training to be a midwife, and she has been doing a lot of education with the staff about natural birth, etc. They strongly encourage rooming-in, which is nice. And although I had one nurse tell me that the baby shouldn't sleep with me, I kept him in the bed with me pretty much the whole time, without anyone complaining. Overall the experience was a good one, and if I decide to have another hospital birth, I would be comfotable delivering at RMH with one of the midwives from S.W.H.

There is a midwife in Warrenton and one in near Gainsville (I think) that are CPM, and do homebirths. I have heard good things about both of them.

Hope that wasn't too long. Once I get going about birth stuff, I tend to ramble


My friend and I are planning to attend the next LLL meeting. We have also been friends since we were kids, but fortunately she is of a fairly AP/NFL mindset, although we did have a discussion about spanking last night, and she is still uncertain how she feels about it. Anyway, I guess we're all still learning. I know I am!

Better run. Look forward to hearing from you again.
 

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Discussion Starter · #12 ·
glad to hear you had a good experience at RMH. i really don't get some protocols though...# of visitors, eating, heplock (if you can't start an IV in an emergency, you need some more training, IMO!). i delivered at martha jefferson in charlottesville and they were WONDERFUL! they had virtually NO protocols. they said they treat every birth individually and that "really, nothing is 'standard'". that was what they said during the tour we took, and i knew it would be a great place - as it was. i arrived at 9.5 cm dilated, b/c i too labored at home, but i drank water the 45 minutes that i pushed between every contraction. and i even asked beforehand about eating in labor. their response was "a lot of women get sick from that. if you don't mind throwing up, we don't mind your eating!".
unfortunately, i don't think i'm "brave" enough for homebirth. though, my first came quite quickly so i've been thinking about it more...i'm a nurse, so i automatically have the "worst case scenario" thoughts that i know i shouldn't have...who are the CPMs you mentioned? i'm not up on "CPM", so i was wondering - what happens if there is a problem and you must go to the hospital? do you get whomever is on call at the time or do CPMs have backup docs too??
i can't wait to meet you at LLL!
 

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My friend who is having a homebirth is also a nurse, and her husband is a P.A. They have struggled with the decision for the same reasons as you. They didn't decide until halfway through the pregnancy. Have you read Ina May Gaskin's " "Guide to Childbirth" or "Diary of a Midwife" by Julianna ??. Those are the 2 books that got me seriously thinking about a homebirth for next time around. Still not sure though
It sounds like you had such a great experience in Charlottesville. I didn't realize there were hospitals like that! How long was your total labor?

It just became legal I think in Dec. for certified professional midwives to practice in VA. The one in Gainesville is Trinlie Wood, and the one that my friend is using in Warrenton is Peggy Franklin. She has a website: www.birthbydesign.org. She is an RN and a naturopathic doctor. I met her a couple of weeks ago and really liked her. She has 8 children of her own! She seems really competent and is calm and reassuring. One problem is that she is about 1 1/2 hrs. away, so it's a way to drive for prenatal appts. CPM's don't generally work with doctors, like CNM's do, so if you had to be transfered to a hospital you would just end up with whoever is there. I had another friend who had a homebirth with Trinlie (this friend lives about 15 min. from H.burg), and she had to be transfered to RMH, and requested to see one of the midwives from Shenandoah Women's Health. My other friend is hoping to be able to do the same, should something go wrong. One of them is always on call. Is RMH the hospital closest to you? I guess that would be a 45 min. drive? Personally, I'm glad I still have a while before having to make a decision


Talk to you more later.
 

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Discussion Starter · #14 ·
hmmmm, so that's the "trinlie" i've heard mentioned. all i've ever heard is "you have to meet trinlie"! never heard of peggy franklin though.
i think it would be awesome to birth at home with little to no assistance, but it does scare me. i have a friend who birthed her first in the hospital - was completely turned off by it, and has since delivered two at home in a kiddie pool in her living room with only her husband. hats off to her!
yeah, RMH is probably the closest except warren memorial in front royal, but i don't know if they do deliveries???? i'd go back to charlottesville (MJH) but i don't know if i'd make it! the day before my son was born, i started contracting at about 8am at work. i stayed at work, but didn't do much (i worked at a health department and had a pretty autonomous job that allowed me some freedom). i contracted all day long, but i thought they were just braxton hicks which i'd been having since 20 weeks. but i started timing them in the afternoon at the encouragement of my co-worker. i remember when she left to go home that afternoon she said "give me a hug. you won't be here tomorrow. you'll be having that baby." i was like, "yeah right!". well, that evening, i crashed at about 7:30 but woke up every hour to pee????? at 1:30 am, my water broke and contractions intensified. serious work began! at 4:30, my dh said, it's time to go (we did the bradley method, so he was looking for the signs). a couple minutes later, i said "we're gonna be doing this here". a minute later, we were in the car, speeding thru the early morning darkness to charlottesville (a 20 minute drive). half way there, i had to push!!!!!!! when i got to the room and was checked, i was 9.5 cm!!!!!!!! he was born at 6:37 am. so, i don't know how long to count my labor - 22 hours? 5 hours? most people say 5 b/c i didn't go to the hospital until the very end and i had no drugs. i even had a friend the other day (who has no children) say to me, "i wanted to know something about contractions, but i can't ask you b/c you didn't have any". huh???????????????????????
well, sorry for rambling, but i LOVE my birth story
so i can't help it!
have you heard of birthmatters virginia? they have a website and a group in harrisonburg that meets once a month. they are all about supporting informed birth options in the area and the group is the "birth circle" for those planning pregnancy, pregnant, moms, or people who like to be around such persons. sounds neet to me, so i plan to attend their next meeting 3/13.
well, enough of my blahblahblah!
 

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What a great birth story! I love hearing stories. My labor was 17 hrs. from the first contraction (3 AM) until birth (8:13). We also took Bradley classes--in Richmond! I actually spent more time then I would have liked in the hospital. We went in about 1 PM, when contractions were getting really close and intense, but then things slowed down a bit. I actually pushed for 2 1/2 hrs. But Isaiah was 9.2 lbs., and very healthy, so it was worth every minute!

I'm glad you mentioned birth matters. I think I found their website, but it didn't have much info on it. I had heard of Melanie, the woman who is in charge of the meetings in H.burg. I think she lives by the Little Grill. I would like to attend. Do you have a time and place? I love talking about birth. I am interested in becoming a Bradley instructor, actually. Also, my friend (the pregnant one) and I are thinking about offering free birthing classes at a community center here in N.M. after her baby is born. Not sure if we can just do that, but it makes me sad to see how uninformed/uneducated people are about birth. We tend to get rather passionate about it!


Hey, I have another question for you. Do you own any baby carriers, specifically a mei tai or an ergo or something similar? I have a ring sling, which has served us well, but I'm really interested in getting something that goes over both shoulders, but am hesitant to order one until I try. I would love to be able to try one on, but I don't know anyone that has one.

Well, babe is sleeping, so I better go try to get some stuff done while I can. Talk to you later.
 

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Discussion Starter · #16 ·
i can't believe this! i am DYING to do childbirth ed b/c it is so unfortunate how most births go. i'm trying to gently work with my mainstream friend who is currently pg with #2. she's going with the midwives, and she has my bradley book for self-study, but she's not gonna go too far. any little bit is encouraging though compared to her last pregnancy and birth, which makes me sad. i remember her saying to me, "no one ever said 'you can do it' the whole time i was there. all they did was tell me 'this isn't working,' 'you're not progressing,' 'if you don't do any better than this, we're going to have to do a c-section'" it made me want to cry. she admits she did nothing to prepare herself b/c her thinking was "it'll either come out or they'll take it out", but her mind changed when she was in the thick of it and realized she felt helpless and clueless as to how to help herself and her baby.

we actually didn't take bradley classes- we self studied with email assistance from a friend of mine in connecticut who's an instructor. i debated bradley cert too, but i'm wavering and actually thinking i'll pursue LLL leader---lactation consultant----somewhere on the way do some parttime nursing in L&D----blahblahblah....we'll see. since the birth of my son, i'm just fired up about mamas and babies and trying to figure out how to channel it!
the birth circle of birth matters meets the second monday night of the month. i haven't been before and i can't remember the time, but as soon as i find out, i'll let you know. the next is 3/13 and i think it's at melanie's house.
my current favorite carrier is actually a really long piece of stretchy material that i use as a wrap (5 yards for $1 a yard!). it works for front/hip/back carries and i found instructions on mamatoto.org. we're actually looking into a frame carrier and i'm trying to find recommendations for that. dh wants one for hiking and some upcoming museum and zoo adventures in DC. a friend of mine who is in LLL has an ergo that she LOVES. i'm sure she'd let you try it on if you'd like at the meeting. if you want, i'll ask her to bring it. we actually had a big "carrier show-and-tell" at the last meeting and 2 people had ergos that they raved about.
 

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That is so sad about your friend's birth! But unfortunately all too common. I have a friend that had a similar experience. She thinks that childbirth is the most horrible thing, and she is just planning on a C-sect. for next time around. And almost everyone I tell can hardly believe that my babe was born w/o meds. It's like a novelty or something. Sad, I think
I really think education is a huge part of it, though. I already knew what I wanted for my birth, but the Bradley classes definately helped. Probably even more so for my husband, who was an excellent coach! This weekend, I had a chance to spend a while talking with a friend and her husband who are planning to get pregnant soon. She wants a natural birth (maybe at home), and her dh supports that. But he is from Moldova, and had not even thought about being in the room with her. My dh and I sure had a lot to say about that! He seemed really interested to learn that there is more to birth than just send the mama in the other room and the baby comes out! Anyway, I know what you mean about being fired up about mamas and babies. What does leadership in LLL involve? Do you take classes or just have reading assignments? One of my goals in wanting to do childbirth ed, is also to teach and promote breastfeeding and infant care. We'll see where it all goes ...

I would love to try on your friend's Ergo, if she is able to bring it to the LLL meeting. I really really want one, but am having a hard time putting out the $ for it. I'm also curious to see your homemade wrap. I'd love to try a wrap, but am worried it would take too much work to figure out. I'm afraid I'm not very patient with those kinds of things. We have a Kelty frame backpack and a Snugli Crossroads backpack, both given to us. My dh really likes the Kelty for hiking (and it has room to attach stuff for backpacking). It's a little to big for me though. I prefer the Snugli because it is more compact and fits against my body better so I don't feel off-balance. I still feel funny wearing it in the grocery store or when I work in the kitchen! We do use it a lot for walks outside. I'll bring them if you're interested in taking a look or trying them on. We have discussed selling one of them, especially if I decide to get the Ergo.
 

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Discussion Starter · #18 ·
i'll email my friend about the ergo and i'll bring the wrap - it is very easy to get the hang of!
we're leaning (ok, it's DH) toward the kelty, but not sure which model. we're going to wilderness voyagers on date night this week to see if they have anything b/c we'd really like to try it on before we buy it.
lll leadership seems very involved and takes awhile...i think there's alot of reading and writing and role play with a leader. i meet with my leader tonight to start the process so i can give you more details later.
gotta run get this place straightened up while the sprout sleeps!
 

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We've had a sick baby, so I haven't been on here for a few days. He has thrush and an ear infection, but seems to be on the mend now. But we had a few sleepless nights
Glad that's over. It's good to have him cheerful again.

Thanks for e-mailing your friend about the Ergo. I'm excited to be able and try both that and the wrap. Did you decide about the backpack? I think we'll probably use ours a lot more as the spring and summertime come and it is more pleasant to be outside.

I'd love to hear more about what is involved in the LLL leadership. Of course I have only attended one meeting before, but that kind of thing is interesting to me. I'm looking forward to the upcoming meeting.

I'm not sure if I'll be able to make it to the birthcircle meeting. If not, I'd still like to hear about it. I guess that is in just over a week.

Gotta run.
 
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