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Any suggestions on finding support/friends/just geting out?

507 Views 12 Replies 13 Participants Last post by  Satori
I have no friends and virtually no support system at all outside of online communities *sigh* so any suggestions, no matter how silly are appreciated.

I live in semi-rural conservative area. Not really easy to find crunchy, family/children-oriented types like in the MDC community. I basiclly know no one here! I've lived here 5 years and just haven't found anyone I could call a firend. I work a lot, out of the area, so that makes it hard

Folks have suggested church, but I am not so into having someone try and save my soul for the sake of socializing KWIM? I have some unique views on faith, chrisitanity and the bible, so I don't think I am going to jive with the churchy types.

How do you find these play groups and mom's day out things? I have no clue. Oh and as far as the newspaper here, it comes out once a week! Can you believe that?! I don't think I've ever read it either... LOL man this place is lame...

I'll be happy to move next year.
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I am in a similar situation in a lot of ways. I live in a conservative rural area, and it was pretty hard for me to meet people for a while.(for years) What really helped was my midwife. She organizes monthly teas for expectant mothers/and mothers with babies or small children. Most of my good friends now, I've met through her. Do you think there are like minded people in your area? Are they just difficult to find? Do you have a co-op? Or similar gathering place?
I really have no IRL friends either. There are some in this same apt building, but no one that I really connect with. I've met a few MDC members in the nearby town, but I'm too poor and busy to be driving to the next town all the time.

I really don't know what the answer to this is. I need major help in this area too.
I know how you feel too. This town is very transient. I've been keeping my eye out for community events such as playrooms for kids and parents. I want to take her swimming as well and see if there's any programs just for the kids. It's hard cause I'm a bit shy too. I'm not the type to just go over to someone and start up a chat.
Are there any libraries in the area? Check for story time. Swim class, music, language classes, etc for kids are good places too. If you're a bit industrious you can start a playgroup. The park is an obvious one. If you're shy, have an advocacy book with you and hopefully a crunchy mama will see it and come talk! :LOL
Good luck!!!
Call LLL and find out if there is a group near you? If not, start one?
*~*SewHappyNow*~* said:
Oh and as far as the newspaper here, it comes out once a week! Can you believe that?! I don't think I've ever read it either... LOL man this place is lame...QUOTE]

Watch out now- I am an editor of one of those lame weekly newspapers...
I also live in a small, rural, very southern town. You could look at your Chamber of Commerce; they often know everything going on in the town and could point you in the right direction. Also, ask at the schools or daycares in town. They will know all the moms and all the kids and again could point you in the right direction. And the library idea is a good one too. They should be having their summer reading programs right now, and it would be a great place to meet moms and dads.
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I live in a small, one paper a week, rural community too.

I have looked for flyers & things from people who are doing alternative medicine. I met a really great gal just talking on the phone about what she does. We've had several amazing phone conversations.

You could put an ad in the paper to start a crunchy playgroup.....if no one responds, oh well, but maybe there's even one other mama in your community that is like-minded.

I also joined a playgroup that was full of non-like minded parents. It was fun for awhile and I ended up really liking one of the moms. Even though our parenting is different, we still have other things to discuss & the kids are okay playing together too. I sometimes felt out of place in the playgroup when they discussed certain things, but I met some very interesting women & that was okay too.
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I was going to say something like what LJ said - I joined a playgroup too, not knowing if they would really accept me and I was suprised at how many things we have in common. Granted, I live in the NorthEast where I think a more progressive parenting style is common. My playgroup was started by people who met in the post-natal exercise class at the Y - I met one of the members (my closest friend actually) at the breastfeeding class run by the hospital. Look for stuff like that. Is there someplace you like to hang out? I'm thinking coffee shop, deli, etc - because if you like it, I bet other people who like it would like you KWIM? 5 years is a long time to go without friends. Put yourself out there, what can you lose really? Cheers,

I am pretty much in the same boat. Check out MOMS club....I think it is ?? I helped start one when I lived in a rural back woods town, and I actually met so many baby wearing, breast feeding, cloth diapering, homeschooling moms. I was shocked, never would have thought there were that many in my area, but somehow they all came out for the play group

I am actually in the process of starting a MOMS club here. I am in a relatively large city and feel just as alone. It is harder to meet people once you have kiddos to take up your time.
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Well, if you think that rural communities are hard, try living in a smaller city in a foreign country where you do not speak the language (although I understand and read the language perfectly!). When I lived in Amsterdam...there were HUGE communities of English speakers and the Dutch living in Amsterdam spoke perfect English. But I bought a house in a smaller city north of Amsterdam as I did not like living in Amsterdam and am still trying to learn to speak this difficult, crazy language.

I have literally accosted women I see on buses, walking on the street, in the grocery store, during our consultatie (well-baby check up) appointment, etc, who have children! :LOL Out of the 20-30 women I have done that with, I speak and/or meet with 2 of them on a weekly basis. But, I am not close with them, it is really, really difficult to get close to Dutch women.

So, my to the women you see on the street! You never know!
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I would also recommend checking the MOMS Club. i joined one in a different city from where i live and its been great!~ The other thing is you may want to check out the Unitarian Universalist church. they have a website that you can find church in your community. The other thing i would suggest is checking for a yahoo group in your area or on the finding your tribe boards here. Thats where i found a yahoo group in my area and i met a lot of great moms.

I know what you mean! I can find the play groups but most are run by SAHM's who are MARRIED and give me this pittying look when they find out i'm single then look at me like i've got to heads when they find out I work and heaven forbid I have crunchy idea's! I dont get along with mainstream parents to well... oh yeah, the play groups are usually run during the day its its kinda hard to go if your working. Anyway I found some local moms at but I didn't have anything in common with them except one but she hit the road as soon as she found out I worked. It kinda sucks without a support network
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