[KayleeZoo]

I remember when we found out DD#1 was a girl- I was a teensy bit disapointed, because I'd always wanted a boy. Then came the u/s for DD#2 and I was really disappointed. My dreams of having a boy were slipping away and it took me awhile to get used to the fact that we were having another girl. Then came DS!! Now that I have my daughters, I wouldn't trade them for an army of little boys, but I understand that deep longing for a child of one gender or the other, and the disappointment that can follow so wanted to give anyone else who might be having some similar feelings the chance to vent/share in a supportive enviornment

I've seen similar threads here on MDC, but thought I'd start one of our own.

 

[StrongFeather]

I am not going to lie, I was let down when I found out we were having a boy. But now I have fully embraced it, and only have moments of longing for a girl still when I pass the incredibly cute girl clothes!! I am the oldest in my family and had two younger sisters, who I helped my Mom take care of. I never even babysat a boy growing up! I just kind of naturally expected and wanted a girl. When the u/s tech said i think we have a boy here, I just was quiet. DH tried to squeeze my hand, and I felt really bad for not being super excited, I know DH was trying to make me feel ok, but I was so afraid the tech would catch on that I wanted a girl!

I was in shock that whole day, and had to grit my teeth and say "It's a boy!" with mustered enthusiasm. I am a horrible liar, so I felt like a fake that whole day! Later that night I really examined why it was that I was so heart set on a girl and what that said about me. I came to the realization I love my baby no matter what (of course), and that there was nothing wrong with our boy. What I did have to do is re-examine was how I was envisioning MYSELF as a mother. Since I had only mothers of baby girls in my memory, I was an older sister to girls, I just naturally had subconsciously attached certain ideas to being a "Mom", in particular, being a Mom to a baby girl. Does this all make sense?

So after I forgave myself for wanting a girl so bad, and being let down so to say, I guess I just accepted my challenge for this journey into the unknown. It does help that a couple of my old high school friends, I have gotten back in touch with (thank you Facebook!) have boys, and they all wrote to tell me how much fun boys are. So here is to an adventure!

 

[2boyzmama]

With my first, I desperately wanted a girl. My husband was really nervous about how I would react if it was a boy, but honestly when I saw that baby on the ultrasound, he was so perfect, it was miraculous, I wasn't really disappointed at all! He was beautiful! We got a perfect profile shot of him, and to this day I cherish that picture!

When I was pregnant with my second, I had to come to love having a little boy so much, and since they'd be so close in age, I figured it'd just be easier to have another boy. I still wanted a girl, but was prepared for a boy. Sure enough, another boy! I love having my two boys!! Watching them play together now, it's priceless!

This time, though, is rather unexpected, and I have to admit that there's a side of me that really DESPERATELY wants a girl this time!!!!!! Kinda like, I didn't really plan this baby, so at least make it a girl!!! I know that another boy would just be easier all the way around, but I'm surprised at how badly I want it to be a girl! So I'm worried that at the ultrasound I'll be disappointed, even though the first two times I wasn't. I'm trying to temper it with the fact that this ultrasound is a medical necessity, with Connor's syndrome, we are nervous that this baby isn't healthy. So hopefully the ultrasound will show a healthy baby, and then whatever the gender is won't matter as much anymore. But we'll see...

 

[Julia24]

Yes, I'll admit it.

I didn't care with kid #1 OR kid #2, since I always knew we wanted 3, yk? But then all hell broke loose in our marriage, and I began thinking we might never HAVE #3, and that it was bc of that I'd never get my BOY. Well, here we are - #3 on the way and another GIRL!!!!!!!

Oh well, I know I will LOVE being the mom of all girls - and I will LOVE how tight they are when they're grown ups, I'm thankful they'll have that.

We'll just have to wait until they get married to have our boys

All the more reason for dh to stay in great shape so he can have those 'moments' with the men in our daughters' lives, yk? I think he's coming around too.....he's been more prepared for this than I have (he just KNEW, yk?) Plus, he's been coaching girls softball now (instead of the baseball he'd been coaching for YEARS), and I think he's realizing that girls can grow up at the ball park just like he did - which is where some of his warmest childhood memories come from, so I'm glad for that.

 

[rockdoctor]

I am waiting until my child is born to know the gender, but I really want a boy. I don't admit this to ANYONE, b/c if it is a girl I don't want people to feel like I am disappointed. A girl would be fine, in fact my girl name is much better than my boy name and I would like to use it. BUT, I just think a little boy would be so much fun!

 

[texaspeach]

After we found out the sex at the ultrasound, I realized that I'd hoped it was a girl more than I care to admit. I'm hoping that if we decide to try again we have a girl, and if not, maybe we'll have grand daughters.

 

[BeanSprout Mama]

I can see myself ending up here. I don't even want to say which I'd prefer, but I DO have a preference. That's one of the reasons I am SO anxious for my ultrasound - I know I'll be disappointed if baby is not the gender I'm dreaming of and hoping for, and I just want to know ASAP so that if necessary I can get over that disappointment ASAP and just be excited again about our sweet baby.

The next 2 weeks are going to go SO slowly for me, I know it.

 

[kittyhead]

i want to say that i dont have a preference, but i would love to have a little girl. a boy would be great, i have one already and he is so much fun and having two would be fantastic. but this is my last chance to ever have a daughter. this will definitely be my last pregnancy, two times around with hyperemesis is plenty for one lifetime.

 

[Siobhain]

I am having my fifth child, we have one DD and three DS's. DH and I don't really have a preference, it would be interesting to have a girl after so long but it would be nice for our almost 3 year old to have a brother close in age to play with as well. However our friends are going to be bitterly disappointed if it is not a girl, they won't stop talking about if we have a girl etc, it is getting on my nerves to the point that I haven't told any of them we are havin our big U/S tomorrow because I don't want to hear the disappointment in their voices should it be a boy (which I am assuming it is, it is the trend around here

). I want my baby to be celebrated regardless of gender and I am not sure how to get that across without being snarky. UGH.

Little boys are so much fun but so are little girls......just different

Warmly,
Erin

 

[xelakann]

I was really disappointed with DS#1... but now I can't imagine not having him.

I feel like I'll be disappointed either way... part of me REALLY wants another boy... but I'd be sad if it wasn't a girl. Sure I could spin it and say I'd be happy either way... but honestly I'd be sad. I love the idea of "my boys", brothers and what not... but I keep dreaming about girls and buying girl things.

We find out on Monday... so we'll see how I really feel then.

 

[texmati]

I'm ashamed to say it, but yes, somehow I really want/expect/am dreaming of a boy. I look at girls clothing and think... well that's cute, but I'm having a boy.

I'm nervous about my ultrasound because I'm afraid it will be a girl.

 

[dancemama23]

Quote:

Originally Posted by BeanSprout Mama I can see myself ending up here. I don't even want to say which I'd prefer, but I DO have a preference. That's one of the reasons I am SO anxious for my ultrasound - I know I'll be disappointed if baby is not the gender I'm dreaming of and hoping for, and I just want to know ASAP so that if necessary I can get over that disappointment ASAP and just be excited again about our sweet baby. The next 2 weeks are going to go SO slowly for me, I know it.

Oh my gosh! My thoughts exactly, and I brought it up to my SIL and she said "Don't find out, just enjoy these 5 months of thinking it might be a girl and when it's born you REALLY won't care." But is this true??? She seemed to think when I am all blissed out after the birth my wishes will be erased, but I say, find out now, and get past it now before any PPD sets in, just in case!

 

[it's just apples]

I'm still sad about having our third boy. We are probably done having children (though have considered one more). I'm sad mostly because the families of boys that I know as grownups are not close at all. The boys seem to drift quickly as they enter adulthood and not stay close to their mom/dad/brothers.

:

 

[kalisis]

I had a small nervous breakdown when I found out DD was a girl. The u/s tech had to leave the room and give us a minute as a family so I could pull myself together. I was so scared about having a girl - how to keep her safe (there are molestation issues in my past) and how to teach her to stand up for herself and not be victimized (I'm a rape/abuse survivor, too) and it was all a little much.

Fast forward two years and DD was the best, most amazing gift anyone could have ever given me. Her gender forced me to reevaluate my life and make some serious changes. I left her father when she was 9 months old and left behind a crazy, nightmarish, abusive relationship and I haven't looked back. If she had been a boy, I probably would have stayed, b/c I always thought I could raise my son to be better than his father. But when confronted with raising a daughter, I had to either walk the walk or risk raising someone who would end up in the same place I was.

I was so scared for the last part of my pg with her, but am now so grateful.

 

[mkksmom]

I am hoping not to be disappointed in 2 weeks. I think I am having a boy for some reason, and I have guessed twice and was right both times. I try to tell myself that I'll be happy either way, but I hope there isn't any disappointment.

I was talking about painting the nursery blue the other day and just thinking about buying boy clothes. Good to have this thread here in case I need it in 2 very looonnnnnnngggggggg weeks.

 

[melanie_rabbitbarn]

I have to say that when I first got pregnant with DS, I really, REALLY wanted a boy and knew that I would just cry if it was a girl. We did not want to know the gender at the u/s and by the time baby had wriggled and moved and carried full term I was so in love that I didn't care. I was actually surprised that he was a boy! But my friend had always told me to wait to find out because by the time I was holding the little miracle in my arms, gender wouldn't matter. At least for me, she was right on.

 

[xelakann]

Quote:

Originally Posted by kalisis I was so scared about having a girl - how to keep her safe (there are molestation issues in my past) and how to teach her to stand up for herself and not be victimized and it was all a little much.

For many of the same reasons this is my fear in having a girl. I *know* all the bad things that can happen to a girl and I'm afraid I couldn't protect her. If this new baby is a girl I was trying to determine when I'd enroll her in a self-defense classes.

 

[Siobhain]

Quote:

Originally Posted by kalisis I had a small nervous breakdown when I found out DD was a girl. The u/s tech had to leave the room and give us a minute as a family so I could pull myself together. I was so scared about having a girl - how to keep her safe (there are molestation issues in my past) and how to teach her to stand up for herself and not be victimized (I'm a rape/abuse survivor, too) and it was all a little much.

I have these issues as well (both molestation and rape in my past) and no mother figure in my life past the age of 9/10. I attribute my past in some of my difficulties in bonding with my daughter as a female. We certainly have bonded and love each other deeply but I still have my own issues to deal with. She is in martial arts and within the next year will have her blackbelt in TKD, she is also a very strong peace loving individual but I know that in a dangerous situation she (physically) knows what to do. I am doing my best to protect her from being in situations that I was in as a child and teenager without being a suffocating mother. You taught your daughter a fabulous lesson by leaving an abusive relationship, kudos to you. I agree that our daughters are wonderful teachers for us and am thankful for every minute that I have my dd, she has taught me many things about myself and about being a mother. I am proud that even though I didn't always feel strong as a mother that I have raised such a confident and beautiful spirited daughter who will be a confident and loving mother when she is ready!

Warmly,
Erin

 

[BeanSprout Mama]

Quote:

Originally Posted by dancemama23 Oh my gosh! My thoughts exactly, and I brought it up to my SIL and she said "Don't find out, just enjoy these 5 months of thinking it might be a girl and when it's born you REALLY won't care." But is this true??? She seemed to think when I am all blissed out after the birth my wishes will be erased, but I say, find out now, and get past it now before any PPD sets in, just in case!

: I was worried about this too. I know that she's probably absolutely right because even though I could potentially be disappointed through the rest of the pregnancy (I sure hope not, I better get over it quicker than that if baby isn't my "preferred" gender) I will just melt and fall in love when he or she is born. But I don't want to risk it! I'd rather know, and alter my expectations and plans accordingly, so I can just plain be excited when our baby arrives.

 

[SMR]

I wouldn't say I'm dissapointed, the ultrasound tech told us last week that the baby is a girl. I have major boy vibes and would love to have a boy that we get to bring home with us this time. But either way is fine with me.. as long as i get to bring them home!