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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I am way beyond tired. I am tired and crampy and nauseated and sick. I have not been able to do any housework for about 10 days now and it is making me so depressed to look at the apartment. Ds has seen more videos in the last week than he has his entire life combined. Other than reading books he brings to me, I have done very little beyond snuggling with him and he is not used to not having mama to play with.

My place is to that point where I am scared to even ask my mom to help me clean it because I don't want anybody to see the pit I am living in and I am so dragging. I hope this lets up soon...just a little. I don't mind feeling pregnant, but last time I was able to work...nothing close to how rotton I feel now.

Plus, my previously independed little guy won't even take a bath with 'just Dad' without crying his eyes out because mama isn't there. My dh and I have always switched off giving baths...it isn't like dad giving him a bath is new. He cried like crazy when I had my dr appointment, even when Dad was in the waiting room with Grandma & Grandpa. I just don't recognize this insecure little man.

Sorry for ranting. I just have never felt so isolated and alone. I just want a clean house and some sleep.
 

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Oh, Jennifer, I feel like you have put my state into words that make sense. I feel exhausted and terrible, too. One of the biggest issues for me is waking at night and not being able to go back to sleep. My mind is racing with half awake/half asleep, crazy worries that have to do with nothing. I know it's hormones, but it's really wearing me down because I am going around like a zombie everyday way behind on sleep. Last Sunday, I laid on the couch ALL DAY, which is absolutely unlike me and which drove me crazy. My dh was great and he took care of everything, but I couldn't stand not being able to do anything.

We are preparing to put our house on the market and from NC to IN in the next couple of months and, of course, I have lots of details to arrange with real estate agents, moving companies, relocation services, etc, etc. (and, yes, I do know how lucky I am that we don't need to move ourselves.) But these details often seem absolutely impossible to deal with for me. Imagine having to have your apartment in a state where it can be shown to prospective buyers (ok, don't
)

This pregnancy is much harder for me than my others were. I am counting every day until that first trimester ends and hoping that I can really enjoy that second trimester. I hope you can, too.

And, I think you should ask for any help you need with your apartment. Don't forget that your mother was once pregnant, too, and I am sure she wants to help you. I bet she would be even more horrified to know you needed her and you weren't asking.

The good in all of this is that we are actually making people right now. Little people we will soon get to meet. And we won't feel like this when we meet them. For sure!
 

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Jennifer,


I know EXACTLY how you feel. I am really, really struggling right now I am so tired and sick all the time. My morning sickness has become all day sickness.

My house is such a mess. There are dishes waiting to be put into the dishwasher and there are piles of laundry in the hall way. I managed to sort them but not yet managed to carry them downstairs and turn the machine on.

I am finding it a struggle to take care of my DD, a very lively 21 month old. DH works long hours and my mother lives 4 hours away. My MIL came over yesterday and helped by playing with DD and doing some gardening but I am too proud to ask her to do any other jobs.

I think the 1st trimester is hard because even though we feel pregnant we dont look it. I think other people are more sympathetic to a heavily pg mom than a newly pg one.

I think, although I wouldnt take my own advice lol, that you should ask your mom to help you. Then you would have 1 less thing to worry about.

Roll on 2nd trimesters!
 

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ITA with the others who urge you to ask for, or accept, any and all help you can, from your mom or your partner or whomever.

And be gentle on yourself. Don't forget that you are doing very, very important work right now -- nurturing that little one (and the not-so-little one, too!). Your body is working extremely hard and undergoing a lot of changes. It's normal and natural to feel wiped out.

Take care of yourself!

~nick
 

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I know the feeling well. The one thing that has made me feel a little better is getting out in the morning for even a little bit. For some reason when I'm out I don't notice as much how crappy I feel. It hasn't made doing dishes any easier (unfortunately), but I have a little more energy and the nausia is better.

Maybe you could force yourself to take ds for a walk and see if that helps?

I hope you feel better really soon.
 

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Jenn-- I agree with Nick: we are doing VERY important work. DH reminded me of this the other day when we were helping friends move. I couldn't lift ANY boxes, because they were all over 10 pounds. I sat in the kitchen and ripped out old shlef liner. I have never felt so helpless, but nobody would let me help. I ended up watching their baby girl


i am grateful that I am not as tired as some of you mommas (but, I don't have any other kids!). I, too, have let the laundry, dishes and house overall, go. DH and my brother (12) pretty much take care of themselves in regards to cleaning. DH has been doing most of the dishes; it just hurts me too much to stand for long periods of time. My mom does the dishes when she comes over, but that isn't very often, since she lives 1 1/2 hours away.

I do the laundry, but I have NEVER sorted clothes. I just a load and stuff them into the washer on cold. I almost never have problems doing this. I would probably be exhausted if I had to sort laundry.

I try to get a nap at 9 or 10:am, but I don't know if that is possible if you have kids already!

i wish there were "prenatal" doulas to help with stuff around the house BEFORE the baby comes!


Hang in there! 2nd trimester is just around the corner!
 

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I"m tired, but I don't seem to be as bone tired as you all. Perhaps it's because I have no other kids yet, too.
I have been letting the house go a bit.... the deep clean is supposed to be this week, and I just don't want to do it. No, I don't think I can do it. But the every day maintenance has been fine. I make the bed and do the dishes. But cooking? Forget it! The idea of food makes me sick! And it's sad, because I've always loved to cook. And dh has no clue in the kitchen, because I've got all these healthy ingredients in there he's never seen before. He lived on mac and cheese and frozen pizzas before me. Oddly enough, those are the things that don't make me queasy, so I told dh he can do the cooking for the next month! :LOL
 

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I was just telling DH after finally mustering the energy for my afternoon walk on a gorgeous day, that I was so tired I couldn't even deal with being tired! As soon as I figure out what would sound ok to eat (which can take awhile since I'm so turned off by my faves) afterwards my brain drops into my tummy and I cannot even deal with anything but my body urging sleep! sleep! Then my 10 mos old is crawling or climbing all over me or something else or more nurses! DH has been so helpful though, once I explained I need help now, not just when I'm big and can't get off the couch or out of the car LOL! Small meals and walks outside do help me, although yesterday I wandered into a deli and the hams and brie and thoughts of sausage pizza was swirling around in my vegetarian for-long-time head! I am thinking "this" is a very different pregnancy and different baby. DH says, "probably something missing from your diet." It's like "oh, you must really know how that feels." He does wash diapers, dishes and bathrooms though and we make it work


Thought it was just me for a minute mamas,


Lisa
 

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hi jennifer,

your little guy is probably just having a normal reaction to the fact that you aren't able to give him the quality time you've been able to in the past. i don't know if he's old enough, but maybe you can just tell him as honestly as you can what's going on and that it's not because you don't WANT to play but because you're not feeling well and that as soon as you feel better you'll hang out more with him. at least you can rest assured knowing that you probably won't feel like this for too much longer.

i had that same "bone-tired" feeling all last week, and then all of a sudden yesterday it got much better. in fact, when my son woke up at 3am i had such a hard time falling back to sleep which is NEVER a problem for me. luckily i don't get very nauseated with my pregnancies, but i did have a dizzy/nauseous spell yesterday morning at the grocery store. passing the stench of the fish and meat section didn't help at all!

hope you feel better soon
rowan
 

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A few thoughts about the exhaustion: have you had your bloodwork done? Are your thyroid levels and iron levels OK? Are you eating enough protein and getting enough water?

I, too, am very tired but it helps to know that it's normal tired. Maybe you should have those things checked in case some of it is tiredness that can be helped?

I agree with the PPs that you need to be gentle with yourself and let things go a bit. If just for mental health, though, could you set a schedule of things to do, planning just one thing a day? Say, Mondays are laundry, Tuesdays are sweeping, Wednesdays are bathroom... I do this so I don't stress about the whole big list all at once. And if I don't get that day's thing done, I don't dwell on it. I just move on to the next day when I get up tomorrow.

I do understand! Only a few more weeks of this, right?
 

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Discussion Starter · #12 ·
Wow, lots of responses! I think you might have hit on something with the iron thing. I have had a lot of problems with 'nothing sounding good' (except french fries - specifically french fries from Wendy's, which is not usually something I like much
: ) My ds keeps 'stealing' any meat I am wanting to eat and dh is like "I just made a pound of hamburger...where did it go?" :LOL I am guessing he is in for a big growth spurt because he usually won't eat much of anything, but seems to want anything not nailed down this week.

Another thing that makes me suspect the iron is that my cast-iron pan, which is my main cooking pan, is out of commision right now. I need to clean that up and then I would at least get a little iron with everything I eat again.

Dh has been great about watching ds while I sleep and making food, it is just that I am the one who normally cleans up behind him in the kitchen and does the bulk of the regular cleaning and laundry. He is trying, but it is more than he can handle with the rest of life right now.

I know it will get a LOT better in a few weeks. The stress level will go down (dh especially has an enormous amount of stress on him right now) and my energy will go up.
 

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I'm suffering from the same thing right now and to make matters worse the morning sickness has just kicked in (6 weeks today). My house is absolutley disgusting and I think it makes me nauseous just hanging out here! :LOL As much as I hate the morning sickness, I am glad to see it though, it makes me believe that everything is ok with the pregnancy. No morning sickness would worry me.

My MIL lives downstairs but she doesn't often come up to help because she says my house is too messy. Hello, I have 3 kids under the age of five! Of course it's messy! She doesn't know I'm pregnant again though. We haven't really made the announcement yet but I don't think she would come up and help too much anyway.


I think I will just sit back, wallow in my pig sty and drink my ginger tea.
 

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YEAH!!!

So good to hear everyone saying they are exhausted!!!

I want to sleep all day but wake up every night and lay there for a couple of hours!!!

My house is a mess ---- and I have not cooked anything decent in weeks for dinner. I love veggies (usually - we are vegetarian) - but the thought of cooking them makes me want to puke. I am grossed out by everything.

Oh well --- this pregnancy is so different than my first. I am so tired like with Ethan but not as nauseous -- but every food there is grosses me out.

So funny --- Alicia
 

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I hear ya! I even got to take a nap today while my ds napped. I am never a nap person!
We are also in the process of selling our house, and it's such a PITA to try to keep up with the housework so that it looks good enough to show. I hope it sells fast so I can get a break!
 
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